'What I would tell myself in my 20's'

[KissesAX]

I'm in my early 20s. It's not going great but all I hear is 'I wish I could tell my 20 year old self it's okay not to not know what you're doing in your life'.
AIBU to wish people could tell you actual advice and not just its okay to make mistakes.

I don't want my life to pass me by and waste my potential during my youth. Do any of you have advice how I can become successful and happy and avoid those big mistakes.

Leave toxic relationships early. That includes friendship. Listen to your gut feelings.

Be brave in all your decisions. You can afford to make mistakes in your 20s. And most problems are inconvenience they are not permanent.

And stop trying to impress people.

Lastly, maybe those extra snacks you can do without! I gained so much weight in my 20s, it's so much harder to lose it in your 30s.

-Be careful with your sexual health and contraception (get tested regularly if you're sexually active etc etc).

-Research the career you want and ways in; you may have to volunteer or make a sideways move and you may not end up where you thought you would so it's good to try a few things. If you have no idea; temp, volunteer, try as many roles as possible, talk to as many people as possible to get ideas.

-Lots of pp have said and I agree: say yes to opportunities to go out/socialise. It's the easiest time to meet people at that age, whether that be friends, partners or even just people who might spark an idea for you. Have lots of late night conversations with people about life, the universe and everything; I miss that from my early 20s! (no-one seems to want to anymore)

-Don't waste time in a bad relationship, don't move in with a partner you're not sure about but equally if you do meet someone amazing, ignore people who say you 'have' to be single in your 20s to experince things; it really depends on who you meet and what happens, either way is fine.

-I agree with the pp who said save; even if just a bit a month. Set up a regular payment to a savings account; that way you have a cushion for anything going wrong or if you suddenly want to move to a new city or whatever, it gives you more options.

-For me personally, this was the time I started thinking the stuff from my childhood (divorce etc) to make sense of it all; I was getting anxious due to some issues with some of my relationships that I needed to work through. If you feel like this; counselling can be a great way to work through some things. Consider it an investment in your mental health. My relationship with my family is better now because of that I think. I also talked to my DSis about stuff and our relationship is in a different place now.

Sorry for the essay, ignore if none of that applies to you!

Don't put off long haul travel if you can afford it, pre-baby. Babies/small children are a pain to bring on long flights.

Do an MBA or a vocational Masters/professional training.

Work your ASS off. Seriously. Don't coast for a minute - you can achieve a huge amount in your 20's.

If you're going to start a business, go big or go home. We don't need more crafters selling on Etsy, we need an app to transform how we manage debt. If two guys in their 20's from Cork can create Stripe.com, yes you CAN.

Moisturiser for the backs of your HANDS, not just your face.

Learn 2 languages. Properly.

Work your arse off, it pays financially in the long run.
Don’t get involved in mundane relationships & become 50 when you’re 25
Travel whenever you can

Take care of your skin and start wearing SPF every day now.
Look after your teeth
Stay a healthy weight

Save money, even if you can afford just a fiver a month. Pay into a pension/savings account if you possibly can.

Value yourself: don't stay in a shit relationship because you don't have the confidence to say "I am worth more than this".

Make friends. Surround yourself with kind, funny, interesting people you can learn from and who will be there for you as you are there for them.

Do stuff. You're young, full of energy and (presumably) have few commitments. Travel if you can, find things that you're passionate about, go to museums and learn about stuff, learn new skills, play sport, climb mountains, run a marathon (obvs not necessarily those particular things but you get what I mean). Invest in yourself then once you have less energy and more demands on your time, you'll be so happy that you're a well-rounded person with knowledge, experience and talent.

This is advice I would like to have taken when I was in my 20s, but actually I don't think it's bad advice generally:

Stop drinking. Stop trying to settle - find what and who you really like and don't just think it's the best you'll get/deserve.

Any positive habit you start and stick with now you'll be very grateful for in 10 years.

Find out what you love doing and then find a career in it.
You'll then never work a day in your life.

If it's too good to be true, it is neither good nor true.

Stand up for social justice.

It's ok to stop being friends with someone.

Learn all you can. How to change a tyre, cook a risotto, code a website, learn a language, study, OU, nightclasses whatever.

Keep a diary and read it back often. It will be a great record but will also show you not to make the same mistakes again.

Say thank you often.

20s is not old- if you want a career change go back to uni.
Have sex when you want to...don't be pesterred into it.
Get tested for stds regularly- its not scary but undiagnosed infections are.
You will never look as beautiful as you do now. Enjoy and flaunt it.

I definitely agree with the above posters about looking after teeth.

So, I’d say:
Stop drinking sugary, fizzy shite and try and get out of the sweets habit.

Eat more vegetables.

Avoid chairs. They are very bad for you.

Stop playing it safe. You’ll end up in a boring job. You may actually find you like people and that a job that involves talking to them may be more fun.

Stop lying

Don't get into debt, and earn as much as you can now. If a job comes along that's less well paid but can lead you to a position where you're earning much more, take it and put in as many hours as you can. Save, save, save. I had well paid jobs in my 20s and lots of disposable income - I saved but it mostly went on our wedding, then my health went down the toilet and I had to stop working at 29. You don't know what's around the corner, but whatever it is is easier to handle if you have some money behind you.

Spend money on things that will enrich your life like travel, don't bother wasting your money on stuff that just clutters up your life, drink, fags.... my god how I wish I could get back all the money I've ever spent on cigarettes!

Nurture your friendships, too many people focus exclusively on work and romantic relationships and then realise at 35 they have no close friends.

There are millions of jobs you don't know exist, and every job you take is a step towards one of them. Be open minded about your career - don't be afraid to put the time in now while you have it.

Family members won't be around forever, sadly some are gone much too soon. Spend time with them while you can, ask questions about their lives, take photos and video.

I don't think it's necessarily true that women are at their most beautiful in their 20s. I'm mid-30s and look my best now, as do all my friends.

This is one of the sagest (and most tear-jerking!) examples of this, IMO - Cheryl Strayed's letter to her younger self: therumpus.net/2011/02/dear-sugar-the-rumpus-advice-column-64/

Get a house on your own. Yes you only esrn 10k a year but houses are only £30k....
In the south east ☹ dont be scare you can do it. (But i was scared and didnt try to do it).
Shag more than 5 blokes!!!! Im 44 with no prospect of adding to that.
After brushing teeth do NOT rinse with water. Use mouthwash if you must. That might have stoppef me having mouthful of amalgam and 2 missing molars.
Sort out the bingeing.

Drink a lot less and everything else will fall into place, ie most of my worst decisions were made under the influence.
To be healthier in general.
To not sell myself short.

Oh lovely thread

• wear a broad spectrum SPF 30 sunscreen on your face every day ( I have done this and am now a youthful looking 52)
• get some qualification
• have a job you love

-if you are sexually active use contraception and condoms

• remember you are better and more powerful than you imagine

-make friendships that will last you a lifetime

• when all your friends are getting married and you're not do not panic and settle Mr Wrong. ( or Miss Wrong)

-save some money even if it just a small amount -enjoy your own style and have fun with fashion. Try to buy ethically and small amount better quality things

• wear makeup that makes you feel good and enhances who you are and doesn't change you into something else
• Be vey kind to others - everyone is fighting their battle
• life is a privilege.

There endeth the sermon. Good luck. Enjoy