About minute silences at work

[onesupplied]

We had a one minute silence today to recognise the Grenfell tragedy.

We all received an email well in advance about this. Our office manager sets off an alarm at 11am and when the silence is over. We've (sadly) done this a couple of times now in the past month.

There still remain a few colleagues who seem to take no notice. Although not talking they're typing, clicking, scrolling, shuffling papers.

AIBU to think that this is bloody disrespectful and that everyone can afford to take one minute out of their day?

[AmyGardner]

waitforit or you could do one. Or neither. Neither of these options are wrong or bad; they're just choices that individuals are free to make.

[2rebecca]

I think compulsory silences are very top down and dictatorial, especially when there's one a week. I think people should be free to think about tragedies and deaths in their own way. Forcing people to grieve at particular times because a politician thinks we should is quite fascist and being sniffy about people who won't "conform" to the herd mentality is nasty.
If I die in a tragedy I want stuff done to try and minimise it happening in the future but I want the people who knew me to be free to grieve in their own way. People who don't know me shouldn't be forced to pretend grief. They maybe have ill or dying or dead relatives of their own who didn't die in public ways to think about.
I hate state sanctioned silences.

[Mulledwine1]

2rebecca very good post

[Coffeetasteslikeshit]

I've been pondering this a lot this morning, and I think on reflection that having a minute's silence for anything other than Remembrance Sunday is a waste of time and only for show.

Like pp's have said, what are we remembering? During the minute's silence for the wars, I remember the bravery and what we were saved from, I also hope against hope that the lessons of those times have been learnt.

I think that having all these other silences just trivalises the original and creates a hierarchy of who we publicly grieve for.

[Enb76]

I hate enforced minute silences - I think they are utterly devalued by having them for everything going. Do you really think most of the people in the room are thinking about whatever tragedy has happened or do you think they're more likely thinking about what they'll have for supper?

The minute silence was the opposite of all the noise of war - now it's more bloody virtue signalling.

[Oogle]

I was driving yesterday at 11am. Would you have judged me for not pulling over?

I was only driving at 11am because they announced there would be a minutes silence in Tesco and I rushed to get out of there as I knew my 2yr old wouldn't stay silent. Didn't want to ruin it for anyone else, nor did I want to be given evil looks, tutted at or even told off.

At work, I pay my respects by leaving the office and going upstairs to be on my own. I tell my staff what I am doing and I say it is up to them whether or not they observe the silence but please don't disturb me. It's not up to me to dictate to them how to remember the fallen.

[MsSusanStoHelit]

We observe them where we work - we're invited to by our president. So we put an explanatory sign on the front desk and then all stand away from the counter so it's clear we're not serving.

We are rarely interrupted as most seem to observe it with us or they're working away quietly somewhere else in the library anyway. If someone needs help we just point them to the sign and they wait for us.

Obviously if it was a 'my arm is hanging off do you know where the first aider is' we'd help straight away!

[user1476869312]

People are far more invested in public grief-wanking than doing anything practical to help others. Actually, the way to tell who the really stupid people are - they are the ones trying to bully and coerce everyone else into joining in the public grief-wanking, rather than do anything useful.

Prayers are utterly pointless - your imaginary friend doesn't exist, and the person you think you are interceding for may not have the same imaginary friend as you, or not have one at all - and would probably prefer you to offer to babysit their kids/.help with the housework/bring them some food rather than announce on FB that you are praying for them.

[Nikephorus]

Prayers are utterly pointless
Well that depends on your point of view & some people probably would appreciate it. But I do agree with the announcing it on FB routine - I think the prayer might mean more & have more effect if it's sincere and not just a "look at me" gesture.

[TheFirstMrsDV]

Its pretty ironic that so many people can remember the behaviour of others during a silence.
You know, the silence where they are supposed to be solemnly reflecting on the event and those involved.

If they were solemnly reflecting they would notice what people were doing would they?

[TheFirstMrsDV]

Prayers are not pointless to people who believe in them.
They bring huge comfort to many people.

I don't think they work. If they did my DD would be alive but I wouldn't dream of telling someone who was praying for someone who wanted it that they shouldn't.

People believe in positive thinking/attitudes. I can't see how prayer is any different.

[MrsTerryPratchett]

My Christian mate prays for me. He asked, and I said, "can't hurt". It's nice that someone is thinking about me when things are hard. He doesn't put it on FB or do it in public and he knows I'm an atheist so he asked in a way that made it very easy to turn down, had I wanted to. He also offers practical help.

I should email him.

[TalkinPeece]

If all the money spent on flowers was spent on furniture and clothes and essentials it might make a difference.

If instead of standing silent for 60 seconds everybody put 60p into a charity box it might make a difference

but standing silent for people you never knew who died due to causes that are likely to be repeated is utterly pointless.

It is like online petitions to save the whatever.
Ticking the box costs people nothing and achieves nothing.

DO NOT STAND IN SILENCE
demand that things change for the better

[StealthPolarBear]

I find them odd too but always assumed id be told off for saying it. I have thought about the victims of these attacks regularly since each one. I don't need a minute prescribed to do so.

[Whathaveilost]

Me and my colleagues fully intended to obey the minutes silence.
Unfortunately a 14 year old male decided to spit at me and tried to pull my wing mirror of my car. My colleagues had to step in and it wasn't pleasant. However it was just another day at work.
Sorry we couldn't take a minute out of our day OP.

[GahBuggerit]

I'm a typer/clicker as are most of my colleagues. I'm practically silent though as my keyboard is a horrible cushioned thing.

I had no idea it wasn't ok to do this I thought it was just about the not speaking. I will cease all activities completely for the next one, let's hope it's not for a long time.

[MrsHathaway]

The local football team had a minute's silence in memory of DH's grandad when he died as he (and his forebears and his descendants) had been a lifelong supporter of the club including being a steward for a while. It meant a great deal to his sons and grandsons.

A few days after 9/11 the shop I was working in actually shut for a few minutes so we could all go out into the city square to join in with a big silence at 11am. Pretty much the entire city shut down for a couple of minutes. It was eerie and very powerful. About fifteen minutes later, an American tourist came into our shop. He was overwhelmed with emotion at the solidarity shown by all these British people at what he had felt was an American tragedy.

HOWEVER

I agree with pps that there's a problem of overuse. Yesterday it wasn't immediately clear whether we were silent for Grenfell or Finsbury Park - there's been such a density of tragedy recently that our responses are overlapping. If it becomes "bloody hell, not another one" then it completely loses its meaning.

[Sushi123]

Why are people so concerned with what other people are doing...you observed the silence, fine, respectful and your choice. Why concern yourself with others. Just get on with your day

[TheFirstMrsDV]

I missed the silence for Grenfell Tower.
I didn't even know it was happening.

I have thought of very little else since the disaster happened. London is my city and we have had so much happen recently.
It seems pretty relentless.

I don't mind silences. They have their place. But I do mind the expectation that we HAVE to have them or we don't care. It has become about being seen to do something. Considering the lack of 'doing something' that led to this terrible event I think a minute doing nothing would be ironic if it wasn't so insulting.

Its like flying flags at half mast. That never used to happen. Now it does because if it doesn't the local authority might get tweeted by people say 'if it was Muslims/immigrants you would have done it!' or similar nonsense.
No one is prepared to stand up to stupidity anymore. They just cave in and everything loses its value and power.

Its all just another instagram opportunity.

[BarryTheKestrel]

I work in an inbound contact centre and we turn the phone lines off for a minute. Any customers on the phone are asked if they would like to be placed on hold for a minute or to receive a call back later on in the day. I wasn't working for the minutes silence this week however I am sure it was the same as all the others. Everyone stops working completely for a minute, even if they do not wish to observe I have only had the displeasure of sitting next to someone who decided to ruin it for those around by speaking all the way through it.

[daisychain01]

I must be far too compliant then. It never occurred to me that a minute' silence was state- or management-sanctioned.

It's an opportunity for a pause-moment to think about the tragedy and empathy for those who have lost so much. Simple as that. We all took part at work. People on the phones were able to quickly end their call and still have a moment of quiet. Nobody objected or refused to be involved.

[2rebecca]

I didn't know it was happening until after it had happened either as at home and no radio or TV on that morning. When I got to work at lunchtime no-one knew there'd been one either. We're in Scotland .

[user1492287253]

where i work it is fully observed. despite being call based, all staff are told to tell customers at 5 to the company is observing and they will be called back. there is a large communal space to gather. of course it is not compulsory but im yet to see anyone who doesnt

[TalkinPeece]

but WHY is it observed?
Who decides which tragedies get a minute?
which get none?
Why is a late night attack remembered at 11am ?
And what good comes out of it ?

Nothing will change if we all stand around for a minute most weeks
only by speaking up and engaging with others will things get better