Mumsnet Logo
My feed

to access all these features


to think that school should not be reminding me of DD's exam?!

74 replies

PyongyangKipperbang · 18/06/2017 14:15

When I was taking my GCSE's a million years ago (I was the first year to do them), we were given our mock/actual exam timetables and that was it. We were expected to be at our exams on time, with the correct equipment and if we werent then tough. At no point was it considered to be our parents responsibility.

I have just received the third text in a week reminding me that DD has a mock exam tomorrow and to make sure she is there on time.

Why are they texting me and not her?! They all have assigned email addresses from school and she hasnt received a reminder.

AIBU to think that the school should be putting the responsibility onto the students rather than the parents? And to think that this is why you get kids hitting university expecting tutors to do everything for them and then getting their parents involved when it doesnt work like that?

OP posts:

StillDrivingMeBonkers · 18/06/2017 14:16

Some parents are not as organised as you.
Some pupils do not have the ability your child has.

YBU. Opt out of texts if you don't want them.


PyongyangKipperbang · 18/06/2017 14:19

What is my being organised (or not?!) have anything to do with it? It isnt my exam to be organised about. And I dont see what ability has to do with it either.

When DS was doing his GCSE's ten years ago I didnt get notifications for him, and he has cerebal palsy so had extra time, a laptop because his handwriting is very very poor and did his exams seperately from his classmates. I knew about these arrangement obviously as I went to a meeting with his year head about it, but the expectation was still on him to be where he needed to be and when. It wasnt put onto me to do his thinking for him.

OP posts:

thesnailandthewhale · 18/06/2017 14:21

If they don't turn up for the exam you are the one who will be sent a bill to pay for the cost of it - I'd rather receive the reminder personally :)


Amanduh · 18/06/2017 14:22

Probably because she's a child. Just because they didnt do it in the past... yabu.


CherieBabySpliffUp · 18/06/2017 14:24

These are mocks so she's year 10?
14/15 years old?
So she isn't on study leave and they are being done during lesson time?
Makes no sense to me Confused


BuggerLumpsAnnoyed · 18/06/2017 14:24

Because GCSE students are still children, so yes, you do have some responsibility to make sure she attends.


missperegrinespeculiar · 18/06/2017 14:24

I agree, the number of students (University) who expect me to take responsibility for their learning is staggering (just got an email this week from a student telling me he missed his exam and it is my fault because I did not remind him, even though he has known about it for the whole semester, the irony is, I did, he just forgot to check his Uni email!), and because they pay fees they feel entitled to me doing it, this is very bad for them, as they get babied and pandered to and then can't cope on their own at work, another reason why free university education would be better for us all!


user1471548375 · 18/06/2017 14:25

Lol. Schools can't win really can they? There'll be someone along saying a DC has missed an exam and the response will be "Well, there's no reason they couldn't have sent a text alert to the parent"

If you're that bothered, ignore the text or opt out and don't pass the message on to your DD


picklemepopcorn · 18/06/2017 14:30

Because they can? Tech means they can mass message at little cost or effort. If it makes a child turn up with equipment that may otherwise have missed something, then it was worth it. Schools have to be seen to be getting their students through.


SisterhoodisPowerful · 18/06/2017 14:33

There's a happy middle here where parents receive a message, but after the school has reminded the child via text and email. The consequences of not remembering are ridiculously high for a child. At the same time, parenting is about raising children to have the skills they need to succeed (however they choose to define it).

My eldest is at uni. I've been shocked by the number of parents traveling to the uni to help their kids to clean their rooms, despite there being cleaners in halls to do the big stuff. Confused


MrsOverTheRoad · 18/06/2017 14:34


It was shitty in the past. Kids were left alone to their own devices too much.


NC4now · 18/06/2017 14:35

My son has different SEN to yours - ones which affect his organisational skills.
I'd appreciate a text next year when his exams are on.


PyongyangKipperbang · 18/06/2017 14:36

cherie yep, she will be in school anyway which hadnt occurred to me and makes it even more pointless!

Yes she is still a child but in three short years she will be off to Uni and I see this part of her eduation as preparing her for that, not just academically but practically too. I see nothing wrong in expecting her to take responsibility for herself. She writes her exams on the calendar so I know when they are and keep an eye on it, I wish her luck and ask her how she got on. Its not that I dont care, just that I think that she needs to rely on herself in preparation for the day when there will be no one else to blame rely on.

If I thought that she had genuinely forgotten then of course I would remind her, but not otherwise.

OP posts:

Allthebestnamesareused · 18/06/2017 14:36

Are you sure its a mock? In June?

Has she failed to turn up for other exams and so they are now ensuring she gets there on time?


harderandharder2breathe · 18/06/2017 14:39


It has no negative impact (the worst possible effect is mild annoyance) and could potentially be the difference between a student attending or not attending an exam and therefore whether that student attains the qualification or not. So the positive effects FAR FAR outweigh the increadibly minor negative

Why wouldn't the school utilise something inexpensive, quick and easy to benefit their pupils?


Blueemeraldagain · 18/06/2017 14:40

Three texts for a mock exam is completely over the top.
Stick a timetable in the post fake parents/carers. Remind the students often in the run up. Deal promptly with any inquires from parent/careers.
Surely part of the purpose of mock exams is to practise for the real thing/future exams when you may not have people nagging you every 10 minutes.
I say this as a teacher in a secondary special school that has just finished the GCSE run 😅


titchy · 18/06/2017 14:41

And how exactly would school have been able to remind your parents about an upcoming exam 20 years ago? Phoned every parent - 2 mins x 240 = 8 hours of someone's time. Or posted something to you - 240 x 80p postage and paper = £200. I suspect that's why things were different in your day, not because they wanted to foster a sense of independence.

Now - texting /emailing 240 parents - 5 minutes @ £10 ph = 90p.


Stopnamechanging · 18/06/2017 14:42

I think that they are trying to do their best for the students who perhaps have more chaotic lives, have parents who are struggling with other issues/life.

It's a good thing.


DermotOLogical · 18/06/2017 14:44

It's all part of the babyfication of our young adults.
Successive governments have judged schools on their pupils achievement. This has created miseconomies in that teachers now do anything physically possible to improve grades. This is to the detriment of pupils independence.

Come the end of the year the teacher will get his or her performance management SLT "why did xx pupils not get a mock grade?"
Teacher "they didn't turn up to the exam"
SLT "Well what did you do about it?"
Teacher "I sent a text, i reminded them with a daily countdown in lesson, I gave the class revision lessons"
SLT "but that's not good enough, what else will you do next year?"


SleightOfHand · 18/06/2017 14:46

I get them for my sixth former. Confused


noblegiraffe · 18/06/2017 14:48

Ten years ago there wasn't the technology to text you about your DS's exams and there wasn't the massive pressure on teachers that there is today. If your DC doesn't revise or pitch up for their exams, the teacher will be hounded to explain their poor results and possibly not get a pay rise as a result.

Most schools now also have online systems where teachers are expected to record all homework set, so kids don't even have to write that down any more. Many schools no longer even issue students with planners so they'd have nowhere to write down their exam dates anyway.


Sweetnessishere · 18/06/2017 14:50

It's ridculous fortunately neither of my DC schools have adopted this, DC2 is just finishing A levels. I don't even know the full details, I know there were 3 papers in week 1 then 1 per week for the next 3. She has made her revision timetable and will take herself to school as required.

DC1 has SEN that makes them very disorganised, even they managed to turn up for every GCSE, AS and A level exam without me needing any emails or text messages.

And we wonder why students struggle at uni.


BrexitSucks · 18/06/2017 14:52

"If I thought that she had genuinely forgotten then of course I would remind her, but not otherwise."

So if your child flatly refused to revise, you also wouldn't mention it to her. Because it's her right to think qualifications are a load of bollox & she has no good reason to give a damn. Fair enough, I suppose.

& OP believes that the school is supposed to know that HER Child will remember & take this seriously. They should only send texts to parents of the kids who might forget to revise. Not sure I can endorse expecting school to organise that level of customised targeted text reminders.

. I would have loved school to send us texts about mocks when DS had them. I never had a clue & he wasn't sharing that info.


WellThatSucks · 18/06/2017 14:52

YABU. This is really a non-issue. It's a text message, a mere electronic blip in your day, it's reminding you of an appointment concerning someone you have parental responsibility for. Bottom line your dc is a minor and, regardless of whatever independent thinking and personal responsibility training you have instilled in them (go you) the ultimate duty of seeing they comply with a school schedule is yours. This has nothing to do with creating a generation of 'special snowflake' incapable of adulting uni students, there have always been those who were over-parented, I had a few classmates like that when I was at uni and that was decades ago. The majority of the new generation are no worse than we were.
In the days before email and cellphones my exam timetable was sent to my parents and they pinned it up on the fridge, similar happened with my dc. Any changes were phoned or a letter was sent to me not them. They knew they had to check the schedule for themselves daily but with the stress of revision on them etc I made sure I checked too. Both very independent, self-sufficient young men now and they never came crying for me to intervene at either uni or in the workplace because I reminded them to check their exam diary occasionally.


Stopnamechanging · 18/06/2017 14:53

Why do some posters think that because their child managed to be organised, that translates to everyone else's being able to?

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Sign up to continue reading

Mumsnet's better when you're logged in. You can customise your experience and access way more features like messaging, watch and hide threads, voting and much more.

Already signed up?