AIBU to hate the term 'respect your elders'

[Emboo19]

Just seen it on another thread and I hate that term or idea of respecting your elders, just because they are older.
Surely it should be to respect anyone as long as they're deserving of respect, regardless of their age.
Or is it just me?

[Roomster101]

I don't like the phrase. Everyone should be treated with respect but I don't think some people should get more than others based on how long they have been on the planet. I teach my children to give older people their seat on buses etc but that has more to do with the fact that they are less able to stand than being respectful.

[FromAtoBin21months]

Yanbu I hate it too. All people should be respected if they're deserving regardless of age/experience.

E.g I respect the person in their 20s who knocked on someone's door doing their job and not the old man who answered and told them loudly for all to hear to 'fuck off and die'

In a world where people are told being racist, sexist etc is wrong I can't believe ageism is still rife

[Justjibberish]

purist I'm 55, so guessing we're within ten years of each other. If I met you I would, hopefully, assume that your variety of life experience would have made your views and opinions well considered and thought out, in which case I would respect your views, even if I didn't agree.
If, however, you were the sort of person, and I'm not saying you are, who never moves from their home town and lives in a cultural bubble, never questioning their own assumptions, then I would give your views less weight/respect. Similarly, anyone wanting to know the things that are important to a 15 year old, would be well advised to respect the views of the fifteen year old over mine.
Physical capacity is not age dependent, I would give priority to others based on perceived need, not age.
Surely the best thing is to treat people as individuals and treat everyone as though they're worthy of respect until they demonstrate others. Hypocrisy, bigotry and ignorance are not good character traits, regardless of age

[JuicyStrawberry]

I have been on this planet 40 years longer than OP. If she is 'equal' to me then that means that I have done nothing, learned nothing, accumulated nothing in the last 40 years.
I assure you that is not the case.

She is equal to you. She is a human being just like you. Your age and life experience doesn't make you a better or more valuable person than her. Get over yourself.

[purits]

Your age and life experience doesn't make you a better or more valuable person than her.

I'm glad that my employer doesn't think the same!

[DeadGood]

YABU OP. When you are a little older it will be clearer to you.

Great that you are respectful of everyone, and obviously some older people are awful and don't deserve deference, but in general I would definitely show extra respect to people who are older and more experienced than me.

[alltouchedout]

Yanbu at all. Respect your fellow humans, but the idea that being older than someone means I am more deserving of respect than them is daft.

[Emboo19]

So is it experience DeadGood not age. What about the 30 year old whom I was showing the ropes to at work, as she'd never worked so had less experience than 18 year old me!

[BoysofMelody]

Or my 72 mother in law who has never worked, has never been abroad, rarely leaves her hometown, hasn't read a book since leaving school and gets all her opinions from the Daily Mail. There's no absolute experience between age and experience.

[Gileswithachainsaw]

I hate it too. But then I've spent years serving older people who tho k.its appropriate to argue with you, tell you you should be having nore kids, being called a fucking fat slag, calling my colleagues fucking arseholes, and moaning in general.

I start off being nice and pleasant to everyone but I dont care how old you are im.not taking that shit.

[FromAtoBin21months]

Exactly emboo I'm 30 and when I started a job about 3 years ago I had someone teach me the ropes who was younger than me, even the assistant manager was younger than me and I never looked down on them once. I was grateful for the help and guidance they gave me

[JuicyStrawberry]

I'm glad that my employer doesn't think the same!

Jolly for you. The fact still remains that the op is still equal to you no matter what you or your ageist employer thinks. In fact I have more respect for her than you because you seem a little, I don't know, obnoxious? The way you talk about teenagers is rude for one.

[TheWhiteRoseOfYork]

Teenagers are notoriously impetuous and don't think of consequences. They may not even understand consequences. Older people have usually been in the situation before so their experience deserves respect.

But a lot of the issues that teenagers face today were not around for previous generations. Eg- social media. I am in my forties and I find it hard to get my head around the stuff that goes on on Instagram, for example. We simply did not have these problems when I was at school in the 80's. Likewise a lot of my parents generation bought their houses so long ago the country was not even decimal yet, and then spend their whole time moaning about how the youth of today are lazy for not getting on the housing market. They simply do not realise that things are not the same as in their youth.

So whilst I would always try and be respectful towards my elders, I sometimes have to bite my tongue if I hear them spouting uninformed crap. They don't always know better.

[WhiskyTangoFoxtrot]

I think you should respect everyone, unless they do something to lose that respect.

The phrase about 'elders' is a throwback to childhood isn't it? Because that is the time of life when it's normal for adults to have more experience and better judgement than children.

It's not (and never has been) a carte blanche for demanding blind obedience. It's about politeness.

[expatinscotland]

I'm 47 and I find people who use this term use it to get something they think they're entitled to have or to be smug twats - 'Well, I know more.' So what? Doesn't make you any more worthy of everyone's respect.

[purits]

The way you talk about teenagers is rude for one.

Not rude. Scientific.

They simply do not realise that things are not the same as in their youth.

Ha! That cuts two ways.

[JuicyStrawberry]

So that's an excuse to talk about them like they are dirt then is it?
Teenagers are smarter than you give them credit for. Shove your scientific bollocks.

[TheWhiteRoseOfYork]

They simply do not realise that things are not the same as in their youth.

Ha! That cuts two ways.

Sorry, I don't know what you mean by that?? Cuts two ways to whom? If you mean me then I have already admitted I don't understand social media issues, I would not tell my children I know better than them in that area. The problem is people who don't realise things have moved on and yet still demand respect for an opinion which is out of touch with what is actually happening, simply on the basis that they have been on the planet for longer.

[Gileswithachainsaw]

Yy juicy

I've had run ins with all ages but I can categorically say that the largest percentage of issues I've ever had be it at work or out there on the street or on a bus have been with older people.

[purits]

How did I talk about them "like they are dirt"? The article talks about how "very smart adolescents will do very stupid things in a very impulsive way". I suggest that you read it instead of throwing insults around.

[DeadGood]

Today 09:54 Emboo19

"So is it experience DeadGood not age. What about the 30 year old whom I was showing the ropes to at work, as she'd never worked so had less experience than 18 year old me!"

I still think you should speak to her more respectfully than, say, the 16 year old work experience student that you showed the ropes to last week.

Not that you should speak rudely to the work experience student - of course not. You should be helpful, professional, friendly. But the tone would not be the same.

I think you should assume that the 30 year old has been doing something in the 12 years since she was 18. Studying, looking after a parent, raising a family, traveling - whatever it is, she has more life experience than you, and that should be acknowledged.

Basically, you can choose to treat her the same way you treat a colleague of your own age. But you will get further in life if you show a little respect for people who are older than you. I do not think it is a bad thing, can't really see why people have a problem with it.

[MrsTrentReznor]

I've always seen this phrase as a respecting the wisdom of an older person.
When I was a teen I thought I knew everything.
I soon learnt I knew nothing, despite having the sort of upbringing that forced a hell of a lot of "life" on my shoulders.
I enjoy talking to the elderly because of their experiences.
We can learn a lot from them.

[JuicyStrawberry]

You said they are notoriously impetuous and don't think about consequences. Therefore you don't think very highly of them.
As I said, you don't give them enough credit.

[purits]

Ha! That cuts two ways.
Sorry, I don't know what you mean by that??

Sorry if it wasn't clear. You were saying that the older generation do not understand the younger generation. I'm saying that, equally, the younger generation often do not understand the older generation.

[purits]

Juicy have you read the article?