WWYD?
I live in terraced house and my neighbour has a child of around 6. Neighbour is very nice, we chat when we see each other. Child is very sweet and I say hi to them out on street.
But when I'm in my garden the child has taken to climbing on to the wall on his side of the fence, peering over at me and talking to me. It started just when I was putting out washing, just 'hi' and then telling me what he's doing that day, or that his dad's just bought him a new toy (dad is separated from mum so lives alone). I gave polite and friendly answers, saying things like 'that's lovely, I hope you have lots of fun playing' etc etc as he's just a child, very sweet and also I think a bit lonely when he comes to stay.
But he's taken now to doing it whenever I'm in the garden. I'll be sitting reading a book, look up and there he is at the wall 'hiya!'. Or I'm out there with my DS and he's calling over to my DS (18 months) to say hi. Which is very sweet but kind of annoying when we are playing a game or I'm trying to talk to him.
I've tried being polite and saying 'ok we need to get on now' to close the conversation, but he just stands there staring at us over the fence until his dad calls him in. It's a bit intrusive and annoying and I end up having to go inside for a bit to get him to go away. The minute I go back out when coast is clear - within minutes there he is at the fence again. His dad does say to him 'hey, stop bothering the neighbours and come in' but mostly is inside and I think doesn't realise what's happening.
I really don't want to be rude or have to speak to his dad about it as he's just wanting to talk and isn't doing any harm in the grand scheme, so I'd feel very unreasonable. How can I deter this child from peering at me over the fence every time I'm in the garden?
AIBU?
Chatty kid next door
choochooo · 08/05/2017 06:13
Did anyone else click on this thinking it might be about their dc? Yep me too 
My DS is 4 and does this all the time to my poor neighbour. As soon as he sees her door is open he's straight at the fence calling her name and wanting to chat and tapping her up for treats 
I'm constantly asking him to leave the neighbours alone!
I agree a nice firm, "Not just now, I'm busy"
My DC (4) moved the climbing frame across the garden so they could stand on it for a better view of our neighbour Needless to say we did lots of "Leave (ndn) in peace now, he doesn't want to be chatting with you." And moving the climbing frame away again!
But what goes around comes around, now our children are grown and new NDNs have kids with a trampoline and who kick loads of 
over, so we're paying back the tolerance of our old neighbour 
My ndns kids are quite young and love to chat to us when we are in the garden. So does their dad when we are trying to get on with work; I wonder where they get it from? 
I was gardening a few weeks ago and looked up to see a big blue eye peering at me through a knot hole in the fence! I always say hello to them, and answer them a few times or make comments about their toy etc, but then I just carry on with what I am doing and they generally go away and play again. I guess its slightly different as there are two, though in the day one is at school.
My ds was out there yesterday helping with some digging and he said they were just shouting through the fence at him. He had no idea what they were saying as it just sounded gibberish, but I thought it was sweet. I think its because they were expecting it to be my dh and it wasnt so they were excited
Anyway, you can just say hello and get on with what you are doing and if you feel like chatting then do so. It is sad if he is lonely, but you have your own ds and you are not responsible for the little boy next door.
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
So sorry! Long day at work! Just reading through, thanks so much for the replies.
To anyone saying it's a shame or I'm in my own bubble - did you not read my post 
I'm confused! I DO talk to him. That's kind of the problem. I feel sorry for him because he's really sweet and only little and obviously lonely. His dad is lovely but tells him to 'go and play' so he comes into the garden.
He's a lovely lovely wee boy which is why I wanted to subtly deter him. Because as lovely as he is I get one hour a day nap time to do some chores then read my book at weekends, but there he is on the fence saying 'hiya!' As soon as I sit down. The minute I come out with my DS there he is - 'hiya!'
I always say 'hello, how are you, what have you been up to?' Or 'that's a nice new toy did you get that today?' Which I'm guessing doesn't help as then he thinks I want to talk to him every second I'm in my garden.
Sometimes I ask about his mum (he lives with her in the week) and he sounds sad and like he misses her :(. Makes me feel mean for not wanting to talk all the time.
Ah now writing this I want to go and give him a cuddle! Wee love. I take him cake sometimes when we have cake for DS.
But sometimes it would be nice to be able to sit in the garden in peace.
Actually my DS has started shouting 'HELLO' through the fence gaps at the dad, so perhaps this is our payback
We have the same, but our little fence climber doesn't speak to us, he just observes! Yr 4 so not little. I find it quite unsettling. You can be busy doing something in the garden and feel a presence only to turn around to see a face peering over!
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
I also thought oh no my new neighbours are on mn! My ds 5 constantly wants to talk to the man when he's sorting the garden and I can see he's just not the chat to children type...they are both nice and expecting their first so I'll give it 4 or 5 years
I usually distract ds and give him jobs and he's rarely out himself but oh yes he can chat! And it doesn't help that they have a cat which he loves!
It's very hard to end a conversation with small children...I understand why it's annoying but please be kind when being firm.
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.