To be uncomfortable with this?

[WhydoIfeelWeirdaboutthis]

I feel like dp is trying to blackmail his boss into giving him a pay rise. He recently started new job at small family business and is on fairly good money but is asking for c8k more after being unhappy with the way some things are done there. To quote dp his boss "can hardly refuse" - job is 9-5 on the dot, not huge amounts of work - I love and respect my dp but feel a bit put out by his attitude that he deserves significantly more money "just because"... I'm not jealous, I'm on similar money but have had to work so hard to get there and make a lot of sacrifices, it hasn't been easy and I haven't just been able to ask for it either

[Crapuccino]

Honestly, though, who can't google "delete browser history" and follow the wealth of information out there...??

[Crapuccino]

In the event that this is real, your DH will blacklist himself as someone to get rid of at the earliest opportunity, for the slightest infraction. The boss ought not to have used work computers to look at adult sites, sure, but your DH will be identifying himself as a manipulative opportunist who absolutely cannot be trusted and will back-stab at the first chance.

If your DH is happy to live under the shadow of the axe (and you can always find ways to fire someone if you really, really want to - it only takes time) then let him get on with it. Then if he finds himself without a job and starts spouting about the search history, assuming he has no actual proof of this, it will be very easy for people to believe that it's all sour grapes.

Assuming this isn't all a fairytale, and who knows I don't see this working out well for him.

[C8H10N4O2]

Asking for more money if the job is materially different/more responsible etc is one thing - that may or may not be justified, impossible to know from here.
Using threats to get it will generally rebound at some point as well as the ethical issues.

I don't get why the boss cares about browsing history - if the porn was illegal then DP should report it and the request to conceal it. If the porn was legal who is going to sack the boss? Porn is zero tolerance in many organisations but the boss of a small business determines that.

[FilledSoda]

The situation you describe just sounds so vulgar and unpleasant.
Is your husband behaving like a shit because he has lost all respect for the boss ?
I think a clean break would be best for all involved

[Oakmaiden]

Is he actually blackmailing him, though? Has he actually said "Give me a pay rise or I'll tell on you?" Because it sounds like they may well be separate things - he refused to do this task for his boss, but also the job involves things that are very different from the original offer, so he feels he should be being paid more.

Is he actually blackmailing him, OP? Or is that just your spin on it, to make it into a more exciting story than "I'm jealous that my partner is asking for more cash so he will earn more than me, and I don't think he deserves it because I work harder than him"?

[TheCraicDealer]

I hope his boss bites the bullet and is willing to forgo any potential embarrassment that might come from this and tells your DP where to go. Even if he does go for it, your DP won't see the benefit for long as most employers in that circumstance would see that he's exploitative and get shot of him as soon as they could. Presumably the request wasn't made in writing, so it'll be one party's word against the other.

The only situation where it would be worth making a 'big deal' of this would be if the content were illegal (in which case he should have gone to the police immediately) or he was genuinely offended or thought someone else might be by the request. It certainly doesn't sound like the latter is true, and if it were he should make a formal complaint not resort to blackmail.

I would be seriously considering whether this is the type of person I'd want to be associated with or to build a life with to be honest.

[DuckDonald]

Eew. Bit of a wake up call for you. Is it easy to extract yourself from this relationship?

[MoonfaceAndSilky]

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear, even if he does get this ridiculous blackmail money pay rise, his boss will never ever trust him again and so any long term future at this company is well and truly gone.
And I don't believe someone is capable of running a business but can't delete their internet history - agree with Floggingmolly obviously a test, which your Dp has failed!

[1Evaline1]

Your dp can get done for blackmail

[Edballsisoneniftydancer]

Heading for unanimity here....even the OP thinks it's a bit off!

[PaulDacresFeministConscience]

I've had a job where was was promised on the tin turned out to be vastly different from the reality. I didn't use it as an opportunity to blackmail someone - which is exactly what your H is trying to do. Does he realise that blackmail is a criminal offence? Looking at porn is not illegal - assuming the content was all legal - but trying to extort money out of someone is.

What a moral compass your man has, eh? Quite happy to draw an ethical line in the sand at deleting someone's browsing history, but more than comfortable to blackmail money out of them for it.

If I were the boss in this situation then I would sack him without a second thought and point out that blackmail and extortion are illegal.

[Edballsisoneniftydancer]

Sorry not DH, DP

[Edballsisoneniftydancer]

Okay so the boss has looked at adult pornsites on (I assume) his own property. Your DH is now blackmailing him on the back of this.

The boss's behaviour is (slightly) embarrassing. Your DH's behaviour as you describe it is downright contemptible. What else do you need to know?


Though I am genuinely sorry for you that you have had this wake up call as to just how unloveable and unrespectable your DH is.

[Goldfishjane]

This is so weird
If he has grounds for asking for a new JD and salary then he should just ask.

[ohfourfoxache]

That's disgraceful

The boss will probably think he's a nasty little prick and will boot him out the door. Then there are things like references to consider.

If he doesn't boot him out then it will probably severely affect the working relationship

[clairethewitch70]

What TheFrendo said, and Floggingmolly.

He would be straight out of our door.

How does he know the business can afford it? Does he have access to the accounts? Things are not always how they seem on the surface.

Cocky little git.

[Kidakidder]

Angling for a promotion and rise is one thing. Attempting to use leverage is quite another. If I was his boss, his feet wouldn't touch he'd be gone so fast.

[WhydoIfeelWeirdaboutthis]

Oh drat let me just come out with it - I'm a troll!! With only my dp's job to troll about #livingthedream

Yes exactly troll hunters. He started 7 months ago. Job has changed from what he was taken on for originally duty-wise - as I assume is the case in many smaller businesses!!

[muckypup73]

Oh Floggginmolly you are well on the ball!!!

[TheFrendo]

If I was the boss, I would fire your husband.

If I was your husband I would have shown the boss how to delete his search history.

[Floggingmolly]

Changed a fair bit from what? You said he'd only recently started

[muckypup73]

Sounds like he needs sacking your fella

[WhydoIfeelWeirdaboutthis]

He wouldn't phrase it as the above btw, he would go down the route of his job role having changed

[muckypup73]

Floggingmolly makes a very goodpoint, why on earth did the boss not delete his own history?? and if this is true your fella is a twat.

[WhydoIfeelWeirdaboutthis]

Boss didn't know how

In fairness, dp's role has changed a fair bit which is why he feels he should be compensated to reflect this. But 8k is huge! His logic is boss can afford it and would be a drop in the ocean for him