Nursery telling child to stop sucking thumb

[Myloto1981]

My dd has it been keen to go to nursery for a couple of weeks (before easter holidays) even though she loved it before. She told me and her dad a few times this week that the teachers have told her she mustn't suck her thumb and they tell her off for doing so.

Dd is only 3, she takes a lot of comfort from sucking her thumb and I think they should have discussed this with us if they had an issue with it.

Aibu to have a word with head tomorrow? I'm not happy at all.

[ppeatfruit]

She will get germs in her mouth The WORLD would not exist without good and bad germs Actually our saliva is full of quite benign bacteria. But they are stil germs !!!!!!!!!

Dsis and I were at a nursery and never had worms. How come if every surface is covered in their eggs?

I taught in a nursery and all children were taught to wash their hands after toilet visits (we went with them). They could quite well get them at home.

[Summer23]

Yes if she was constantly reinfecting herself, but that's not what this threads about.

[CookingMamama]

My DS sucks his thumb at age 5. He has done it since he was born and we were told by the HV how wonderful it was that he can self soothe.
He only does it to fall asleep, or when bored/nervous. His speech has always been very advanced and he is in the top of his class for reading and writing. He made great friendships in nursery and school and his teeth are in perfect condition, no overbite.

The hygeine thing is ridiculous as Ive watched in DS's class the children who have not been taught to wash their hands after the toilet, cough and sneeze without covering their mouths etc.

I think the nursery should have mentioned it to you before saying anything in the same way they would tell you if the child couldnt bring in a comfort toy etc.

I am trying to naturally phase out DS's thumb sucking to just going to sleep with a sensory type chew bracelet to chew on instead of a thumb during the day.

[TheRealPooTroll]

All children are likely to get them at some point. Kids who constantly have their hands in their mouths will struggle to get rid of them as they will keep reinfecting themselves. That is a fact not scaremongering. The op could teach her dd breathing exercises, self massage etc that she can use to calm herself that won't give her worms.

[Summer23]

That's not a fact it's an estimation. Yes worms are very common and children are likely to get them at some point, however, children will likely get them regardless of being thumb suckers or not, similar to nits. And yes I'm very aware about the standard of hygiene in nurseries but the point here is that a child of this age is simply allowed to self soothe. This is vital for the childs well being and development at this stage.

[nosyupnorth]

another thing to consider - the nursery staff need to have a single and consistent stance on the matter.
They can hardly tell one child whose parents believe in discouraging the habit not to do it while permitting another child whose parents think otherwise
And it makes sense for them to take the stance which is hygienic, practical and (debatably) healthier.

[TheRealPooTroll]

Since up to 40% of children under 10 are infected and nursery children are at the end of that range where handwashing is poorest and bum scratching most prevalent I don't think it's scaremongering to suggest that a room with 30 4 yr olds in and playdough etc that they are all handling is going to covered in worm eggs (which live for a fortnight outside the body). Unless you think nurseries are spring cleaned daily (they aren't). Threadworms aren't the end of the world but they are unpleasant and advice is to encourage children to keep their hands from their mouths as well as washing before eating/after the loo.

[Summer23]

No she won't and chances are she doesn't. Stop scaremongering! It's really not a big deal if a 3 year old sucks their thumb or still has a dummy when needed.

[TheRealPooTroll]

She will have constant worms if it's left unchecked. She may have them now as some children don't itch. Every surface in nurseries will be rife with eggs so washing hands after the loo and before eating as well as keeping them out of mouths is important. I would try and encourage different things she finds comforting.

[museumum]

Perfectly reasonable to ask a child that age not to have their thumb in their mouth while doing craft, physical playing, speaking, holding hands, sharing toys.... in other words most of the nursery day.

I also personally think it's no big deal if they do still thumb suck at bedtime and home at this age.

The two are not mutually exclusive.

[Crumbs1]

Why would you not just let nursery get on with running the nursery as they see fit. Child will need to learn to follow rules for school and thumb sucking is likely to spread stomach bugs, worms as well as wrecking teeth. It's no use saying it's only milk teeth, permanent teeth are forming underneath are are impacted upon whilst milk teeth still there.

[QuackDuckQuack]

To say your dcs can't suck their thumbs because they MIGHT need orthodontics (which as I and others have pointed out is definitely not the case every time) Is like saying you can't have the odd glass of red wine because you MIGHT become an alcoholic.

That's a stupid analogy. It is perfectly possible to drink the odd glass of wine (or even fairly regular one) without risking becoming an alcoholic. It is entirely within your control how much you drink and you have to drink over a reasonable amount to have any risk of alcoholism. Whereas letting a child thumb/finger/dummy suck beyond a certain age creates a risk completely out of your control that your child may need extensive orthodontic work.

[lozzylizzy]

I wish my daughter would stop sucking her thumb. Dh showed her a pic of a woman from jeremy kyle show who had awful teeth and now she tells her nursery teachers her daddy says she will get kyle teeth from sucking her thumb!

[n0ne]

I'd be really annoyed. DD has always sucked her middle two fingers and it's a huge comfort for her. She's just turned 4 and started school this week, but still sucks her fingers if she's tired or nervous. I have no issue with it. Last time she went to the dentist they said she had the slightest of overbites but it was nothing to worry about. I can't imagine forcing her to stop - she'd be so upset. She's not going to suck her fingers when she's 18!

[Lumpylumperson]

I think YABU.

Not only will she be getting germs in her mouth, more than that, she'll have her thumb in her mouth then be touching toys other children will touch.

It really is unhygienic and unpleasant for the other people, not just unhygienic for her.

Also some people don't grow out of it. I went to secondary school with a thumb sucker. Poor kid was always getting faces made at her by her peers.

I think it's positive that she's encouraged to stop as young as possible. Not told off or in an unpleasant way but a "don't put your thumb/fingers in your mouth" is fine. If my DC were thumb suckers I'd be up for encouragement to get them to stop.

[Gileswithachainsaw]

The kid is three. Too old for dummies and thumb sucking where it can start to affect speech and jaw development and teeth etc and stopping it or taking them away is advised..

[ppeatfruit]

Oh fgs it's a 'nursery', it's for babies, and they can't suck their dummies or thumbs. Why not make them wear suits and take briefcases 'you can't get them ready for work soon enough '.

[fuzzyfozzy]

I ask children to take fingers and thumbs out, as it's grim.
There are enough germs without adding to them.
I'd have no problem with her sucking her thumb to go to sleep

[hockityponktas]

Sorry I'm with the nursery on this.
It's very unhygienic and it can hinder interactions with others, participating in activities and communication.
The question would be, if she's doing it enough for that to be the case (so why the nursery staff have started to ask her to stop) is she self soothing because she's not settled there?

[ToughItOut]

I'm with the nursery. They wouldn't let a child walk round with a dummy stuck in their face at that age so why is this any different? if it was my child I'd be pleased they were reminding them not to keep sticking fingers in their mouth and subsequently getting their spit on everything they touch.

[ppeatfruit]

Agree Fuzzipeg

To say your dcs can't suck their thumbs because they MIGHT need orthodontics (which as I and others have pointed out is definitely not the case every time) Is like saying you can't have the odd glass of red wine because you MIGHT become an alcoholic.

[MyschoolMyrules]

OP you do strike me as someone who will only listen to people who agree with you. Why do you post and ask the question if you only with people who agree with you?

[Fuzzipeg]

Whether it damages your teeth or not, that's not the issue. The issue is finger sucking as a form of comfort. Both my dcs thumb and finger sucked when tired, unwell or upset and survived! The nursery should not be telling your child to stop without speaking to you first.

[Gileswithachainsaw]

You may need dirt.

Not sure you need Increased chances of painful surgery and braces though.

[Fragglez]

I've had a thought reading all this.

My dd is 5m and sucks her thumb. Friend's dc is 7m and has a dummy.

My dd chooses when to suck. Doesn't always do it when upset or sleepy, but it's up to her.

Friend's dc has dummy put in mouth when unsettled and had it since long before being able to put it to mouth themselves.

So friend's dc spends lots longer 'sucking' than my dd. I wonder if a) that is common across the board and b) if it means dd teeth are less likely to be affected than friend's dc's?