To feel murderous rage at DH's faffing

[Oysterbabe]

Anyone have a faffer in their life that leaves them fighting the urge to kill?

In laws visiting and I cooked a meal. Was just serving up and asked DH to lay the table and sort out drinks. A few minutes later I pop my head round the door and he has one of the chairs upside down on the table and is tightening it with an allen key. Apparently it seemed a bit wobbly so he thought he'd tighten them all. They are no more wobbly now than they were a year ago.

The other day he suggested we go to the allotment straight away as DD would probably nap and we could get some stuff done. Half an hour later DD is asleep on my lap and DH is reorganizing the medicine cabinet.

He can't just do anything ever. Is it too much to ask that we just leave the house sometimes?

[dingdongdigeridoo]

Well she asked in April so he must be done by now.

[Rufus27]

Vaguely reassuring to know I am not the only one with a faffing DP!

[cafeaulaitpourvous]

I am married to the high priest of faffing

We need to walk into town to pick up some bits. I have showered dressed and my coat is on.

DH has 'the drawer' emptied on my once a year cleared dining room table

I walked in... looked like this and walked to the front door

Cue scramble to find his shoes keys wallet

[CatkinToadflax]

Oh God yes. So many, many occasions over the years but the one that stands out the most was when I was frantically trying to tidy the house before some visitors showed up, and DH's idea of helping was to disappear upstairs for quite some time to slowly and expertly polish the bath taps.

[diddl]

"Well she asked in April so he must be done by now."



didn't realise it was a zombie thread!

[seriouslystumped]

My DH is an epic faffer when it comes to leaving the house. I can get myself and the DC washed, dressed and fed, make sandwiches/ pack snacks if we're going out for the day, pack the changing bag, get shoes and coats on, load up the car with children and belongings, and then we end up sitting in the car waiting for DH for a few minutes. I don't know what he does in this time, he always seems to be doing something, but it's nothing really. I can also cook and entire meal from scratch in the time it takes him to cut and dress a side salad. It gives me rage 😡

[Loverunandwine]

Hahaha to all these messages. I can soooo relate!!! This is my husband!!!

[MycatsaPirate]

I have a faffer. It's the day before Xmas Eve but tomorrow is also Xmas Day for us with my DD1 so we are having a family day. I have asked him to do the ironing today. It's his job anyway. He wants to tidy up his shed instead.

So far he has watched TV.

[user1471432735]

If I ever kill my husband it will be because every time we leave to go out somewhere (Dinner, party, function etc) he gets dressed and goes down stairs to tool about on YouTube.. for maybe an hour. I time things so I'm ready to go at the exact time we need to, at which point DH needs to brush his teeth, find his keys and wallet and work out how to get where we're going.. apparently none of this can be done until it's time to leave.

[Zaphodsotherhead]

My XH did this. Had friends due to visit, house was a tip, no food in - and he decided to tidy the shed. 'Because they might look in there', was his excuse. I did the whole of the rest of the house in the time it took him to tidy the shed (it was quite a big shed). Did they look in there? Did they buggery.

It's control, pure and simple. 'We will not leave this house until I say so'. Or so I was told by another XH. They are ex for very good reasons...

[Sunnyshores]

using motivational phrases like “For fucks sake get in the car” etc

[LilaoftheGreenwood]

My dad does this. On one famous occasion when guests were expected Dmum had told him to tidy the living room (no idea what I was doing, clearly being an unhelpful DC somewhere) he was first seen taking apart the coffee pot and cleaning each component, and then a bit later dusting the tops of all the doors. I still remember the swiftness of purpose with which he went about this vital task.

[deste]

My DH was still reading the instructions on how to fit the base for our new greenhouse while I just got on and did it. He was actually trying to find out if I had done it wrong to justify the reading of the instructions so that he could confirm it. He is not really a faffer he is just useless at DIY but doesn’t like the fact that I am better than him.

[LilaoftheGreenwood]

I had an ex with the leaving the house problem as well! He theoretically knew that if we had to leave the house at say 10.30 at some point he would have to go to the loo, brush his teeth, find his wallet and put on his shoes, but somewhere in his head he thought this could all be done instantaneously between 10:30:01 and 10:30:02.

[Coastalcommand]

My husband accused me of faffing this morning. He had the baby in the car, dressed in just a pair of tights, vest and a big coat. Hadn't brought her beaker or any snacks. No baby bag, no spare nappies. This is for a full day out.
I faffed around and got all this ready while he hufffed and puffed. If it wasn't for the fact that she'd be miserable I'd let him learn the lesson himself.

[Hairgician]

Omfg my dp is a faffer . Everytime we need to leave house hes last to the car. Checking plugs, switching shit off, making up a protein drink, organising his vitamins he needs with him and checking fucking fb!! Gives me the rage.

[CigarsofthePharoahs]

The ops dh is probably still faffing.

I'm like you, AnachronisticCorpse. Get it done, as quickly as possible and then there's much more time for being slumped on the sofa watching Netflix. Haven't the energy for faff.
My dh does faff a bit, but he can't hold a candle to the others on here. My dad, on the other hand, can out faff anyone. He has to have a pre-faff before he can get onto the important business of the main faff. He can often be found tidying the battery shelf or similar when it's time to go out. Then he needs the loo.
Half an hour later he then begins the Shoe Faff. Has to spend ages pulling his shoes wide open and faffing with laces. Then finding the shoe horn, then getting them on, then much more lace faffing.
How my mum hasn't slaughtered him by now I don't know!

[Freshprincess]

We arrived 5 minutes before check in closed for a holiday because exH decided that we couldn't leave till he mowed the lawn.
It was a total revelation to me, after we split, that a Sunday roast doesn't take 5 hours to prep and cook. (When you don't need to spend an hour creating a Spotify playlist, dismantle the cooker to clean it, go to Asda for a bulb for the cooker hood etc etc etc).
A lot of his behaviour was very PA though. If it was something of his that he wanted to do we'd be 5 minutes early. My mums birthday? I'll just nip to B&Q to touch up the chip on the paintwork on the staircase.

[RebootYourEngine]

I sway between being a procrastinator and lazy. When things need done and i do get round to doing them i do them quickly so i can get back to fun stuff.

My teenager on the other hand is a faffer. Goes into the bathroom to brush his teeth and an hour later he still isnt out and his teeth still havent been brushed.

He has anxiety and hates leaving the house so maybe it is linked to that.

[RebootYourEngine]

Also after i have stood around waiting for a day or two for my ds to get ready he will get to the front door and say 'come on then ' like he has been waiting hours.

[whirlygirly]

I'm currently waiting by a shop door waiting for dp who is faffing about looking at shirts he doesn't need. We are abroad but he's found a tk maxx full of the same shit we have at home and is examining every item.
I may kill him.

[ThoughACandleBurnsNoOnesHome]

Get him one of these!

[WhatWouldOliviaPopeDo]

I am RAGING at the moment for this exact reason. We're meant to be leaving now to go to a friend's house for lunch. DP has spent all morning doing God knows what while I get everything ready. Suddenly an hour before we have to leave he announces he's popping out to pick up a present and will have a shower when he's back. He's now in shower, we're running late and he thinks it's fine for our friends to wait for us.

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

Ohhhh the Shoe Faffing!! Dh does this. He wears proper leather shoes, and they take an age to put on, what with the removal of th Shoe-trees, loosening of the laces, the finding of the shoehorn, the actual putting-on, and then the lacing up.

But he will announce that it’s time to leave, so I grab my handbag, slip on my shoes (which takes a matter of seconds), and only then do I realise that, despite having said “Let’s go!”, he hasn’t even started the Shoe Faffing. And the shoes are not even in his hand, they are upstairs, so off he faffs upstairs, to find them.

I have finally learned not to spring up and wait by the door when he says it is time to go, but to sit back down at the computer, and mess round on MN until he is actually ready. It is saving the final shred of my sanity.

[burdog]

Ugh, my fiance does this too. He'll tell me he wants to leave at x time. Ten minutes before we're due to leave he'll need his glasses, keys, watch, gloves, empty the bin, ask me to find his hat NO NOT THAT ONE THE OTHER HAT, then rush around because he can't find the hat he wants, then realise he can't find the shoes he wants. Then we leave 30 minutes after he said he wanted to and he'll make a comment about how we'll still be on time.

It's a wonder he's still breathing, frankly.

He once made us an hour and a half late for visiting friends because when we were due to leave he decided he had to drop a library book off "on the way". It was a 30 minute drive in the other direction on a good day and was terrible on Saturday afternoon traffic. He'd had all morning to do this but had faffed on instead. Words were had.