To not want to talk about my ASD son to earnest anti-vaxxer?

[Hillfarmer]

On holiday with my 2 dcs.. DS has Asperger's. Meet family with similar aged dcs and they are having lots of fun together. I talk to the mum while watching our respective kids splash about. After all the niceties, we get down to the 'and what do you do?' -type stuff.. She tells me she's studying - I say, oh that's interesting, and she says she's Studying homeopathy - and proceeds to go on at length with much breathless enthusiasm about how much homeopathy has helped her DS's behaviour, with tangents into all the 'dangerous heavy metals' in childhood vaccines, how amazing it is, what they can treat nowadays etc etc.

I'm thinking 'oh great, an anti-vaxxer' and inwardly braced myself for some pronouncement on autism.

Sure enough, today by the pool, she starts on and not-so subtley inquires about whether my DS was fully vaccinated and if I 'noticed' anything around that time in terms of adverse reactions etc. I mean how fucking insensitive is that? It's so fucking predictable isn't it?

So I said yes, he is fully vaccinated and yes, I looked very hard at the evidence and oh, isn't it a shame that all the proper peer-reviewed, longditunidal, massive sample, studies show no ACTUAL correlation between MMR and autism, and that that Andrew Wakefield was basically a crook wasn't he? He didn't do your cause much good did he?

And then she takes the last refuge of the desperate crystal-fairy and says there have been studies but they've been suppressed by the medical establishment and 'the government.' Okaaay.

Would I be unreasonable to tell her to cock off with her mad theories and stop being so bloody rude next time. Coming to a sun lounger near you...

[CouldntMakeThisShitUp]

i love conspiracy theories - i also have very strong opinions......but at least i understand there is a time and place for those kind of discussions/debates.

This isn't it.

To deliberately push this conversation knowing your ds condition - downright rude and offensive.

i wouldn't bother pointing it out to her. i'd just tell her 'this conversation is over - i'm on holiday ffs!'

or just stick your earphones in and pretend you're listening to tunes. stick your sunglasses on and you can drown out her face too.

[RandomDent]

If she truly believed in homeopathy she'd never let her kids in the pool. Poo crumbs and bogeys being diluted to make them stronger!

[Titsywoo]

God I would have clocked her one. My DS wasn't vaccinated until he was 5 and signs of autism were there before that. Besides it's a genetic thing for him (and I'm sure most others).

[MrsMulder]

I would find it so hard to not get into an arguement. I would like to ask her if she knows the death rates of children due to these childhood illnesses both before and after vaccination programmes!

[karalime]

'Haha how typically neurotypical of you! Funny how the mainstream thinking is to think there is only one way to be and see the world, like my son is broken and needs to be fixed. He is unique and he is perfect the way he is! If only people would be more open minded and accepting of people neurologically different to them'.

Watch her head explode.

[Crankycunt]

Tell her that she's so full of shit her eyes are brown/turning brown

[specialsubject]

Ask her why she wasted the privilege of education, given that she has come out with no understanding of science and no ability to evaluate evidence. Why isn't she ashamed?

[fakenamefornow]

Sorry, completely missing point but...

This homeopathy course, what exactly do they teach? At the end, well, what will she get? Surely you don't need any sort of licence to be a homeopathic practitioner? Could she not just set up herself as a homeopath without taking the (nonsense) course?

[fakenamefornow]

Qualified homeopath sounds a bit like qualified medium to me.

[LittleWingSoul]

YANBU

Mitchell and Webb did a good fairy medicine sketch...

She is being insensitive and thinks she is being clever imparting her knowledge. We are all entitled to our opinions or beliefs - rightly or wrongly - but have to practice some sensitivity whilst functioning in society!

[Wando1986]

Her children will ingest more heavy metals by eating a tuna steak or oily fish once a week. Push her in the shallow end, OP.

[RedBugMug]

eurgh
I have a dc with a chronic and painful bone condition.
I also have a relative who is a quack homeopath/naturopath.
homeopath etic treatment does not work for acute severe pain. or asthma attack.

I do a lot polite nodding, look butterfly change of topic, recycling of quackery article cuttings.

[FamilySpartan]

Sorry you had to put up with that nonsense.

[1nsanityscatching]

[BigGrannyPants]

YANBU don't be in the slightest bit polite, she hasn't spared a thought for you or your kids. Just trying to push her beliefs and unsupported theories...

[LilQueenie]

she was only asking if you noticed a change. Some do some don't it was only a question.

[Strix]

Being the parent of an ASD child is exhausting enough. Who needs poolside harassment from the ill informed? Politely put a book in your face... perhaps I titled "bugger off!"

[Mrsknackered]

Excuse my language but what a bellend.
Throw a large quartz at her.

[childmaintenanceserviceinquiry]

I've read the thread. How lovely that the children are having a great time. Hope that lasts the holiday. my undiagnosed autistic son can destroy frienships in a few minutes. Hope they have fun

We are all entitled to our views, based on our family situations, research etc. Make it clear that you and she have different views but it doesnt have to ruin the holiday.

[228agreenend]

Good on you on giving a counter arguememt. I'm impressed.

Good advice from Childmaimtence. Ie. If you're children are hailing fun together, then see if you can somehow move the conversation on.

[Nordicwannabe]

I find that what works well is to cheerfully and positively say: 'we have very different opinions about this. Best if we talk about something else.'

There will probably be a moment of awkwardness, but in my experience it's brief and then you can move on. There's no point discussing it, since neither of you will persuade the other and it will just be upsetting.

Of course her viewpoint has changed how you see her, and she isn't someone who will become a friend, but you can still have a pleasant time while your children have fun together. Don't let this spoil your holiday.

[lasttimeround]

Tell her to shut it