To not want to talk about my ASD son to earnest anti-vaxxer?

[Hillfarmer]

On holiday with my 2 dcs.. DS has Asperger's. Meet family with similar aged dcs and they are having lots of fun together. I talk to the mum while watching our respective kids splash about. After all the niceties, we get down to the 'and what do you do?' -type stuff.. She tells me she's studying - I say, oh that's interesting, and she says she's Studying homeopathy - and proceeds to go on at length with much breathless enthusiasm about how much homeopathy has helped her DS's behaviour, with tangents into all the 'dangerous heavy metals' in childhood vaccines, how amazing it is, what they can treat nowadays etc etc.

I'm thinking 'oh great, an anti-vaxxer' and inwardly braced myself for some pronouncement on autism.

Sure enough, today by the pool, she starts on and not-so subtley inquires about whether my DS was fully vaccinated and if I 'noticed' anything around that time in terms of adverse reactions etc. I mean how fucking insensitive is that? It's so fucking predictable isn't it?

So I said yes, he is fully vaccinated and yes, I looked very hard at the evidence and oh, isn't it a shame that all the proper peer-reviewed, longditunidal, massive sample, studies show no ACTUAL correlation between MMR and autism, and that that Andrew Wakefield was basically a crook wasn't he? He didn't do your cause much good did he?

And then she takes the last refuge of the desperate crystal-fairy and says there have been studies but they've been suppressed by the medical establishment and 'the government.' Okaaay.

Would I be unreasonable to tell her to cock off with her mad theories and stop being so bloody rude next time. Coming to a sun lounger near you...

[Ceto]

Ask her precisely how she aims to protect immunocompromised children when her children are out and about spreading germs.

[Deadsouls]

Oh no what a bore...why do they feel the need to impress their views onto everyone else.

[Youdontwanttodothat]

I wouldn't want some religious nut wittering on at me (and I'm RC). Why is trotting out this evangelical nonsense any different.

[BlueThursday]

Skelp her with a pool noodle

[helpimitchy]

According to a great many people, autism is a fate worse than death, so they're quite comfortable with risking polio, diphtheria and whooping cough.

[LouKout]

Just ask if she'd prefer death by polio or an autistic child? I know which I'd prefer.

No dont tell her that. As vaccines dont cause autism.

[YouTheCat]

She's not going to listen to you. Just say you're not willing to discuss it and if she carries on, move away from her.

I think I read somewhere that the whooping cough vaccine doesn't offer lifelong immunity. A colleague had it recently and she'd been vaccinated.

[HookandSwan]

Just say I'd rather not discuss thes sensitive issues on my holiday. I'm happy with who my son is and I'm not interested in a debate thank you. But mere then happy to talk about other things. Or something like that..

[Youdontwanttodothat]

Find a polite way to tell her to Fuck Off. Or tell her to Fuck Off.

While you're at it you can tell her that homeopathy is bollocks. Placebo effect at the most.

I'd probably say that I disagree with everything you say and politely turn away.

[Nousernameforme]

Tell her you weighed up the pros and cons and autism was preferable to death. Then play them that video on you tube with the baby whose parents didn't vaccinate against whooping cough (it's horrendous)

[DesignedForLife]

Just ask if she'd prefer death by polio or an autistic child? I know which I'd prefer.

[Batgirlspants]

Couldn't stand that bollocks op. Tell her to keep her kids away from any babies there. Some bastard gave my 6 week old dd whooping cough and she was very very ill.

[lasttimeround]

Tell her to shut it

[Nordicwannabe]

I find that what works well is to cheerfully and positively say: 'we have very different opinions about this. Best if we talk about something else.'

There will probably be a moment of awkwardness, but in my experience it's brief and then you can move on. There's no point discussing it, since neither of you will persuade the other and it will just be upsetting.

Of course her viewpoint has changed how you see her, and she isn't someone who will become a friend, but you can still have a pleasant time while your children have fun together. Don't let this spoil your holiday.

[228agreenend]

Good on you on giving a counter arguememt. I'm impressed.

Good advice from Childmaimtence. Ie. If you're children are hailing fun together, then see if you can somehow move the conversation on.

[childmaintenanceserviceinquiry]

I've read the thread. How lovely that the children are having a great time. Hope that lasts the holiday. my undiagnosed autistic son can destroy frienships in a few minutes. Hope they have fun

We are all entitled to our views, based on our family situations, research etc. Make it clear that you and she have different views but it doesnt have to ruin the holiday.

[Mrsknackered]

Excuse my language but what a bellend.
Throw a large quartz at her.

[Strix]

Being the parent of an ASD child is exhausting enough. Who needs poolside harassment from the ill informed? Politely put a book in your face... perhaps I titled "bugger off!"

[LilQueenie]

she was only asking if you noticed a change. Some do some don't it was only a question.

[BigGrannyPants]

YANBU don't be in the slightest bit polite, she hasn't spared a thought for you or your kids. Just trying to push her beliefs and unsupported theories...

[1nsanityscatching]

[FamilySpartan]

Sorry you had to put up with that nonsense.