AIBU to expect DD to not be judged on size?

[Nashanoo13]

We currently have two issues swimming and school 😔

School - DD1 is 4 and is in her first year, she is able to read and write simple words, write her own name and count any amount of things... at home.
Having just had her first parents evening I'm at a loss at what to do 😔 They say she can't do any of these things and has shown no signs that she is ready. (This was prompted by me asking about reading books, several classmates have come out with them but DD has not.)

Swimming - She has been swimming since tiny but since moving swim school we've struggled to find anywhere that won't put her back down to the start. I'm so exasperated by the whole thing if she didn't beg to go everyday I'd have sacked it off ages ago

She's tiny anyway and quite babyish looking and this seems to get in the way of people seeing that she can do things. She's too quiet to stand up for herself so just gets upset when we leave. She often asks why XYZ won't let her do the things the same as the others.

Is this something that will right itself? What do I do as I'm so stuck and feel really upset for her 😭

[Nashanoo13]

Yes she's on phonics they do jolly phonics and she blends to spell words out

[SafeToCross]

I hear you, I was so happy when dd2s first reception teacher (very experienced) saw her as competent and self-contained rather than going on about how cute she was like everyone else. It gave her a good start. She does, however, continue to be taken for much younger. At age 11 she still sometimes gets checkout staff asking her in a sing song voice 'are you helping mummy?' She gets them with the death stare though...

[catkind]

Weird then, would definitely ask what exactly they are seeing/not seeing, if only from a what can we help with at home point of view.

[Nashanoo13]

She's been in school since Sept and back then they said she was fine , happy and bubbly like she's always been there. Fast forward now and she's made no progress 😔 and is quiet and shy 😭

Swimmings tomorrow so I'll say that, strangely enough the receptionist seems to have the final say as I already spoke to the teacher and he was impressed. 🤔 He did mention her size and said he was surprised at how well she did.

[IhatchedaSnorlax]

My DS had this in Reception - he seemed well ahead at home but we got a shock at parents evening when his teacher said he couldn't read or do maths at all.

When we asked him about it, he said he thought it was funny to trick the teacher!! I honestly think, however, that it was a confidence thing as by the end of the year he was flying.

[Nashanoo13]

Haha I shall have to teach her the death stare!!!

She's treated completely normally at dance/gymnastics and therefore acts as such!

[underneaththeash]

Not all teachers are competent unfortunately. Some are also just overwhelmed and the quiet child get assessment incorrectly.
Ds1, when he was in reception was bring sent home with books way below his level and we just subscribed to this;
www.readingchest.co.uk

DD had the opposite problem in reception we, were being sent home books before she could actually blend and I had to go in and ask the teacher if we could just work on blending first.

Its only reception and getting them used to the structure of school and teaching them how to behave and socialise with others is a big part of their first year. I wouldn't worry too much at this stage.

[Nashanoo13]

Just an update on swimming.

Had swimming today spoke to the teacher and receptionist. I insisted on watching with them, they started by saying she wasn't up to it, but when I pointed out two children who in my opinion appeared a similar level within the class they then watched the class as a whole and agreed. In fact they said she was better than others in surprised voice They did also say it was due to her size they had expected less 🙄 Least it's sorted now!!

[catkind]

Bravo! One down one to go.

[Astoria7974]

Ye my dsd was told she couldn't read at nursery too. I insisted she could and got her to read something out fluently in front of her teacher who was shocked. The reason was that the teacher naively assumed that my clever dd was reading along the other slower students but she wasn't she was reading ahead (and she reads in her head not aloud just like me) & so had no idea where in the book the others had got to when teacher asked. Dd is 8 now & in all the top sets & is reading similar kinds of books that I read when I was 13 (Hobbit, Journey to the Centre of the Earth etc).