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AIBU?

Leaving baby asleep with...

118 replies

0hCrepe · 14/03/2017 08:51

There have been a few situations where I've had to wake the baby to pop out for something and it has felt like it would be so easy to leave her. For example I pick ds up from school occasionally after a club, could I leave her with dd (10 and very sensible). I'd be back 10 minutes later.
Can I leave her asleep while builders are working in a different room while I pop and buy milk to make them a brew?
I've never done it but WIBU to?

OP posts:

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GreenPeppers · 14/03/2017 09:41

How old is the baby?
And how would you feel about leaving your 10yo dd is full responsibility for a baby? E.g. Has your dd ever looked after the baby whilst your were in the house, is she used to pick her up, give her a cuddle if she is wake etc...?
Depending on your 10yo experience of dealing with said baby, the answer might be yes or no.

Re the builders, it's a no-no. Not their job really.

Afreshstartplease · 14/03/2017 09:43

My baby naps in the pram, if he's asleep and I need to go out I just put extra blankets on and zip foot muff on

arethereanyleftatall · 14/03/2017 09:44

Builders,no;10 ur old, yes.

Sixisthemagicnumber · 14/03/2017 09:47

I am pretty shocked that lots of people are saying it depends how sensible the 10 year old is. No matter how sensible a 10 year old is it really isn't right to put that level of responsibility on them. What happens if the baby starts choking for example? Whilst some 10 year olds are sensible and able to co fort a crying baby it doesn't mean that they would be able to respond appropriately in a crisis situation and being able to ring you isn't always helpful if you are 5 minutes away as 5 minutes is a long time in a crisis. Can you imagine he trauma a 10 year old would feel free something went drastically wrong whilst she was responsible for minding the baby?
Obviously the chances of a crisis are minimal but any risk is a risk too big IMO when it is totally avoidable.

DrAbbyYates · 14/03/2017 09:48

You cannot put the builders in that position. It is very unfair on them.

Sixisthemagicnumber · 14/03/2017 09:48

And social services would probably take a very dim view of a 10 year old being left in sole charge of a baby.

0hCrepe · 14/03/2017 09:50

Baby dd is 5 months and a good sleeper.
Dd is a natural with her and does look after her on her own with me in the house. She can stop her crying easily.
We're having a lot of work done and the builders have been here for ages so I know them well.
But I'll just keep taking her like I have been it just seems like it would be so easy and quick while she's having a mega snooze. She sleeps in her cot usually.

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arethereanyleftatall · 14/03/2017 09:50

A very good friend of mine, who is an excellent mother in all other areas, used to leave her baby in her cot asleep daily whilst she popped out 30 mins to run to the shops.
I was shocked when she told me but she was perfectly happy with it - she turned all electrics off including fridge so no chance of fire, her baby was like clockwork with how long she napped for, she couldn't climb out yet, and she considered the risk of a burglar stealing her baby non existent. She felt the worst thing that could happen was baby would wake up and cry.

Doyouwantabrew · 14/03/2017 09:50

Builders absolutkry not and I hope they would be sensible enough to refuse. Puts them in a terribly vulnerable position.

Regards your 10 year old depends. My older dss would be quite capable with their little sisters at that age for a short amount of time. My dds at that age never complete air heads.

DrAbbyYates · 14/03/2017 09:51

We're having a lot of work done and the builders have been here for ages so I know them well.

It's not a question of whether you trust the builders. You cannot put them in such an unfair position.

sticklebrix · 14/03/2017 09:52

Builders no.

10yo yes. So long as the baby was a very reliable sleeper and the 10 yo extremely responsible. Wouldn't do it with a toddler no matter how reliable the 10yo.

But I'd call neighbours first to make sure that an adult is very close by if 10 yo needed help. Also in case car broke down etc. and I was away for longer than 10 mins.

arethereanyleftatall · 14/03/2017 09:53

Six - if the baby is asleep in her cot with nothing in there, what can she start choking on? That's like parents never going to sleep at night, to keep an eye over their baby choking in their sleep

Afreshstartplease · 14/03/2017 09:55

My baby is almost five months and very dribbly

Two weeks ago he was sleeping in his pram and almost choked on I assume his own saliva

0hCrepe · 14/03/2017 09:57

I'm not going to do it.

The builders are dads and grandads who talk about their kids and talk to baby dd. I wouldn't ask them, it's just a theoretical thought really when she's just dropped off and I think oh I could just pop out now knowing she's not wake up but I've got to get her up etc. Dd can't pop to the shop as she's at school. Realistically I wouldn't put them in an awkward position by asking them.

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0hCrepe · 14/03/2017 09:57

What did you do fresh?

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Afreshstartplease · 14/03/2017 10:02

Ran from the kitchen when I heard the noise, quickly unfastened him, flipped him over and patted his back

I don't know what would have happened if I hadn't heard as it was only saliva ?

chitofftheshovel · 14/03/2017 10:07

10 year old absolutely fine, I definitely would leave a baby with my DD 9.

Builders, in the circumstance you describe absolutely fine. I don't understand why everyone seems to find it such a concern.

0hCrepe · 14/03/2017 10:08

Dd did that as a new born and It sounded terrifying but the midwives said it was just mucus which she would get up herself and not to worry but that must have been frightening.

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Sixisthemagicnumber · 14/03/2017 10:13

arethereany of course you can't stay awake all night in case your baby chokes, but we are adults. Leaving a 10 year old with the guilt that something terrible happened on their watch is not something as parents we should be risking.
We would feel terrible as adults - imagine how much that is magnified for a 10 year old.

arethereanyleftatall · 14/03/2017 10:14

I might be wrong but I always thought choking was silent, if they're making a noise they're not choking, just coughing stuff up.

Afreshstartplease · 14/03/2017 10:16

Yes but a young baby flat on their back unable to move can't actually get whatever it is out of their mouth/throat!

arethereanyleftatall · 14/03/2017 10:21

But if it's liquid they can't choke can they? Choking is when something solid gets stuck in your throat.

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Afreshstartplease · 14/03/2017 10:22

That's what I wasn't sure about. But it was horrible. What would a ten year old do

0hCrepe · 14/03/2017 10:30

Dd did learn first aid the other day and has seen baby cough and splutter a lot and she doesn't need intervention, though she would do the same if necessary (maybe my dd is more mature than most?) but it does sound horrible I agree and could be frightening.

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arethereanyleftatall · 14/03/2017 10:32

It does sound horrible, but if they're coughing, they're breathing. I don't think you're supposed to do anything.

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