I've just be overtly racist in a job interview. I'm not getting the job am I

[JayHooooo]

had an interview today for a job I really wanted. It's for a very professional role, one where I will work with vulnerable people from all different backgrounds.

I was asked for a time when I worked with someone challenging in the office.

I discussed someone who would very openly state their opinions on people. Whether it was insulting their clothes,hair or work performance. She was very very blunt and honest. This caused conflict in the team as people were angry and offended with her and complained.

So I discussed with her what was appropriate for the work place blah blah (insert good I interview standard answer here )

When the interviewer told me that that was a very interesting example and what was the end result I said that she did learn not to be too personal but that she is still very honest but to be fair, she's Nigerian, and that's what Niegerians are like'.

😭😭😭😭😳😳😳😳😳😳😳

Absolute stunned silence from the panel!

I won't get the job. No chance.

The rest of the interview was a blur. I honestly want to curl up and die. I get so nervous in interviews and end up saying something really stupid, but this is the worst.

AIBU to say I'm not getting the job.

[amusedbush]

South African accents are really nice!!

I must admit, I've never heard a SA accent that I've liked, but I'm sure there will be nice ones out there! The same way there are accents in the UK that go right through me and others that I love.

DH works with a SA guy and says he's a total arsehole, though I'm certain that's just the guy and nothing to do with where he's from

[Wando1986]

You think it's racist because most nigerians are black. If you had said 'germans' or 'dutch' then it wouldn't have really been much of an issue and no one would call it racist. Think of it that way.

Might have phrased it as more of a 'cultural' difference because she was from a different country and not stated where from

[contractor6]

If you hadn't said Nigerians, but something like her culture was different to generally accepted English nicetties it would have been fine, but because you referenced a particular group of people its classed as racist... Good luck for next time

[ChrisYoungFuckingRocks]

Not all SA accents are nice, depends where they're from.

True. I have a very 'rounded' accent because of the province I come from, but other parts of SA have very don't shoot me 'common' or 'flat' accents.

[MrsJaniceBattersby]

Well at least they won't forget you

[Astoria7974]

Did you explain that you're gran is Nigerian? If so then you weren't inappropriate.

[Applebite]

I once had an interview where I was talking about proximity to a team from whom I get a lot of work being important. What I actually said was,

"You need to have a physical relationship with them."

There was a pause and then the interviewer said dryly, "you haven't met them yet."

Have a glass of wine and chalk it up to experience, OP . Don't beat yourself up.

[EnthusiasmIsDisturbed]

I say things like oh it's an Asian thing but I don't look Asian (I'm half)

I love cultural differences we all have our odd ways, I've lived in North Africa and they have no issues asking how much you earn, asking what your house/car cost and will openly talk about having diarrhoea without any hint of embarrassment

My Asian side of the family will tell you that you have put on weight don't look good but ask them to choose which restaurant they would prefer to do to they become even more reserved and polite than the English

I tried to get out of a dinner party my German friend was having by making a vague excuse expecting her to reply the English way with oh don't worry hope to see you soon but no she told me she was disappointed and I should have let her know sooner of course she was right but at the time i was taken aback by her rudeness and backed down I went all was forgiven ( though of course I never showed my unreasonable annoyance)

It's a mine field English culture I know is baffling to many

[PollytheDolly]

You should have said....and having Nigerian roots myself, etc...


Oh well. Chalk it up to experience

[Strongmummy]

I think it's rather upsetting that you're sharing this story on this forum as if you're talking to only white people who will have sympathy. I think it's also upsetting that others are consoling you. You were racist, you don't deserve the job, you need to consider your own internalised racism and why you'd ever think it was appropriate to say something like that.

[Strongmummy]

Just seen that you are actually of Nigerian heritage.....which obviously changes my response....

[Astoria7974]

Strongmummy - there are a lot of white and 'Indian' Nigerians. She wasn't being racist.

[EnormousTiger]

Yes, I have a German client and they are just like Enthusiam says - very direct. I do love it that they are always on time just like I am whereas some other cultures don't regard it as theft of my time to be very late - I detest that by the way so I suppose all of us like or don't bits of different cultures.

[onceandneveragain]

Batteriesallgone - but surely you could say that about any country (that there are different regional areas within it that have distinct identities?) without being racist? e.g. Cornwall has a different ethos, feel, way of life, whatever, from London. Or Liverpool to the home counties. Yet you could still think of English national stereotypes, and assume people from any of these areas would be more likely to display these stereotypes than, say, your average American/French/Chinese person.

four eyes - I'm intrigued, what culture is your DH that doesn't tend to smile much? I've never heard of that on! (genuinely curious)

[EllebellyBeeblebrox]

If it makes you feel any better, I once absolutely smashed an interview for a job I desperately wanted, until they asked me at the end "how would your best friend describe you in three words?" and I responded completely without thinking "outrageous piss head". I didn't get the job, surprisingly.

[TheTombstonesMove]

Elle outrageous piss head that's hilarious. What spoil sports to not give you the job.

[coffeeplease16]

I went for a part time job where I would have been both the youngest and the least trained, and when asked what was the one key skill I had to offer I actually said 'delegation.'

No recovering after that either

[FruitCider]

OP, your comment wasn't racist, it was based on a stereotype. But yes, you could have mitigated yourself by explaining you have Nigerian heritage. Now you know for next time

[georgethecat]

I work in mental health and was interviewing someone once. We asked her if she had a location preference - she told us she wouldn't commit suicide if she didn't get location choice

😂😂😂 nope she didn't get job.

Thing is we've all been there. Whilst wittering all sorts of strange shit comes out

[BarbarianMum]

Which part of Nigeria are your family from ? I lived in Plateau State for a few years and found most Nigerians to be models of tact and diplomacy- Maybe they were just being nice because I'm British

[Olympiathequeen]

Patti Boulaye a Nigerian British singer talked about 'going Nigerian' on Woman's Hour recently, meaning she went ballistic about something, so it's not unheard of.

But no, you won't get the job.

[tinkiiev]

That's not racist. It's awareness of different cultures. Different countries just do have different cultures and to pretend otherwise is bonkers.

This book www.google.co.uk/search?client=safari&hl=en-gb&q=Culture+Map:+Decoding+How+People+Think,+Lead,+and+Get+Things+Done+Across+Cultures&stick=H4sIAAAAAAAAAONgFuLRT9c3NMqrSDazKDFU4gXxDJONCorMC0wMtHic8vOzgzNTUssTK4sB7AS87S0AAAA&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiAmfDM48zSAhUEIsAKHcbQCO4QxA0IQDAH&biw=414&bih=696

Is great

[Batteriesallgone]

Sorry if this makes you feel bad OP but I have to respond to once

Nigeria is the 7th largest country in the world by population. It's different regions have populations with very different heritages and tribal practices. It has thriving Christian and Muslim communities as well as other religions and older, tribal beliefs. There is no one shared language - granted, people do speak English in many areas, but that is the language of the colonialists. Islam is the biggest religion in Nigeria - is that part of the stereotype you think of when you think 'Nigerian'?

Much of Africa was divided up by European invaders along straight lines, or lines where, say, the British forces met the French. They bear no reference to the far older tribal boundaries that existed before then. In fact, it's much easier to rule a divided country so it was in the interest of the colonialists to mix up several tribes within one new 'country'. That's one of the reasons why there are strong tribal stereotypes alive and well in Nigeria, because differences were exploited and encouraged by the British. I don't want to go into those for obvious reasons but suffice to say, the idea of one national stereotype is laughable when faced with such differences.

Stereotyping about such a region is bound to be fraught. Particularly, let's be honest about this, when your own heritage is more closely aligned to the colonialists/slavers than the oppressed.

It's nothing like UK stereotypes. Although saying that, if you said to someone from Essex that the British are well known for being dour and thrifty you might get an 'eh? What?' Because that's a Scottish stereotype. So I can't imagine stereotypes ever have much meaning across long distances.

[sashh]

It wasn't actually racist though was it?

...and I look completely white.

This should not make a difference.

There are national tendencies in all of us, we are not stereotypes but we do all show a bit of where we have come from/background.

You might have saved the situation with a 'she was just like my gran who's also Nigerian'

[BusyBeez99]

You'd get the job if it were me interviewing you. People need to get a grip. I think was a perfect example of cultural differences. Wish people would stop crying racism- it's a fact, not cultures view life the same