I've just be overtly racist in a job interview. I'm not getting the job am I

[JayHooooo]

had an interview today for a job I really wanted. It's for a very professional role, one where I will work with vulnerable people from all different backgrounds.

I was asked for a time when I worked with someone challenging in the office.

I discussed someone who would very openly state their opinions on people. Whether it was insulting their clothes,hair or work performance. She was very very blunt and honest. This caused conflict in the team as people were angry and offended with her and complained.

So I discussed with her what was appropriate for the work place blah blah (insert good I interview standard answer here )

When the interviewer told me that that was a very interesting example and what was the end result I said that she did learn not to be too personal but that she is still very honest but to be fair, she's Nigerian, and that's what Niegerians are like'.

😭😭😭😭😳😳😳😳😳😳😳

Absolute stunned silence from the panel!

I won't get the job. No chance.

The rest of the interview was a blur. I honestly want to curl up and die. I get so nervous in interviews and end up saying something really stupid, but this is the worst.

AIBU to say I'm not getting the job.

[VladmirsPoutine]

I'm mixed race too but not of Nigerian descent.
I think the Brits tie themselves up in knots at times with things like this!

[SapphireStrange]

it was cultural and that's a big difference.

I agree with this.

Is it worth you emailing the panel and saying you're concerned about how your comment came across and want to clarify? Explain that you have Nigerian family and were talking from that point of view.

Might save you the job, but even if not, you might feel better about it.

[PolkadotsAndMoonbeams]

I was talking in a practice interview about a situation where it was difficult to communicate - I was talking about a very busy event, lots of noise, people waiting to perform so very nervous and might not listen properly or be able to follow you. All ok - then I added "and of course, a lot of them don't have English as a first language, which always makes it harder, don't you think?".

Not one of the panel had English as a first language...

I meant that with noise and nerves working in a second language might be harder (I know I find that, but they didn't know I speak a second language sometimes), so it did kind of just sound like I was complaining about all those forriners not understanding me...

[Aussiemum78]

Oh dear.

It's definitely a cultural thing though. I'm an Aussie who has done a lot of negotiation with Japanese customers and their norm is very very indirect. It's rude to jump to negotiations without drawn out small talk and relationship building - negotiations are ritualistic, formal and looooong. Which can be good as there is more loyalty. But maddeningly inefficient at times.

I think you would have come across as racist but I understand what you meant. If you felt strongly I would email an apology, tell them you were nervous and something you said came across in the wrong way....

[DevelopingDetritus]

What's the point in telling OP she should have / you hope she told the interviewer she's a quarter Nigerian. The interview is over! All you're doing is making her feel worse Soz, didn't mean it to.

[DevelopingDetritus]

I'm mixed race too but not of Nigerian descent.
I think the Brits tie themselves up in knots at times with things like this!
I agree, we're too polite sometimes.

[MrsHathaway]

I've referred to cultural differences before in interview IIRC - the majority of clients in my field are either US or Japanese, but the cultural norms for addressing those two groups are vastly different, and good candidates know that and tailor correspondence accordingly.

But for you! Once you'd said it, it would have been extremely difficult to recover. About five minutes before, "she is from a Nigerian background as am I so I was conscious that there might be a clash of cultural expectations" or something.

"What do you weigh?" has me hooting.

[Bluntness100]

I think if you followed it up with "and I say that as part Nigerian , it's simply cultural and I admire that" it would have been fine. If you just looked embarrassed and said nothing then yes, it won't go down well. It's a sweeping generalisation and wasn't done positively, as in something like " all Nigerians are so open and honest, it's hugely refreshing" " , it was said as a negative stereotype and that's where it comes across badly,

[KC225]

The woman you were describing sounds South African - mother is South African and I was born there.

But ouch OP. Such a shame but a valuable lesson learned.

[alltouchedout]

DH is Polish, my closest colleague is Kenyan, my prac ed when I was doing my final training was Zimbabwean, my neighbour is Dutch and my best friend is Irish. The one thing they all have in common (apart from me, and apart from being lovely) is their opinion that in Britain, people are too indirect and end up interpreting a more direct way of speaking as rudeness.
I can't even count the number of times DH has been having what seems to be to be a passionate, bad tempered row with other Polish friends and when I have asked what the argument was about he has been very confused and explained it was just a friendly chat about something.

[stevie69]

Hi OP,

Don't beat yourself up. I don't think that you were racist TBH. Stereotyping a bit, yes but hey, don't wall now and again? There's a huge chasm between stereotyping and racism, in my opinion.

I hope it doesn't prejudice your chances of getting the job as I think that you were probably just nervous and these things happen under stressful circumstances.

Let us know.

Good luck,

S xxx

[ChrisYoungFuckingRocks]

I'm sorry but I don't think that's racist...What you made was an observation of their culture. You didn't qualify your statement with "and I can't stand all Nigerians" which would have been racist.

^^ This.

I'm South African by birth. We are generally very direct and brutally honest (and our harsh accents don't help). It took me years to learn to 'soft talk' with English people, and I still occasionally offend people totally without intention. To me what you said was a statement of fact, and in no way racist. However, the interviewers may have no knowledge of Nigerian culture, and would think you were being racist.

[GoodDayToYou]

It's good practice to send a follow-up email thanking them and briefly summarising what you have to offer. Since you might think you've got nothing to lose, you could maybe refer to your faux pas, explain your nerves and that you're actually of Nigerian descent yourself ??

[ArmySal]

I don't think it's racist. l work with a couple of Nigerian ladies and they're lovely, but very direct, almost to the point of being blunt.

They absolutely mean no harm by it though.

[WannaBe]

I agree that we are far too quick to tip-toe around these things and that referring to cultural norms is perceived as racist rather than fact.

Console yourself with the fact that what you said in interview wasn't wrong but that they would have interpreted wrongly. So it's not you, it's them.

Mind you, I was once on an interview panel for a job and between interviews I was talking to one of the candidates and local areas came up. She mentioned that people from the school she worked in had been moved into one of our local (fairly affluent) areas, and her school was in an area of quite a lot of social deprivation. She then went on to say "you wouldn't be impressed would you if you paid £££ for a house in that area and some of the likes of the parents from my school were moved in next door."

[stevie69]

wall???? we all! Autocorrect, pfft.

[stratfordsara]

Hey
Firstly, don't be too hard on yourself, we are all human and we are all guilty of coming out with the wrong thing from time to time.
Secondly, I wonder if it's worth you contacting the organisation to explain yourself and what you meant by it?
xx

[WannaBe]

And I grew up in SA and the South Africans can e incredibly direct and blunt, and as a PP said, the accent doesn't help, especially the Afrikaner accent.

[ShoutOutToMyEx]

Oh poor you. Yes, if I was the interviewer, I wouldn't think you were racist - but I would think you had trouble thinking before you spoke and understanding what's appropriate in a professional context. Sorry!

It happens. Onwards and upwards

[Deathraystare]

I did a similar thing but about getting on with people and I don't know why I brought it up but mentioned that my boss was German with the stereotypical no sense of humour (I know, I know they do have one!) but even his german wife teases him about it. I have had to explain many a punchline he has missed! Unfortunately, one of the panel was ...you guessed it German! I do get on with Germans. I got on with my boss and two german colleagues (who had a terrific sense of humour and loved it when I introduced them to Eurotrash - anyone remember the romeo cleaners - 2 ugly guys from Germany who cleaned in a g string, I said they were the cream of German manliness and they should watch. They thought it was hysterical!

[MrsHathaway]

Blimey. I think South African accents are hawt not at all unattractive.

Perhaps I've only encountered very hawt softly-spoken examples.

[ClaryIsTheBest]

South-African accents are really nice!!

[Rachel0Greep]

'What do you weigh?'

Sorry, OP, no words of wisdom to offer. Sounds like it was going well up to that point.

[WaitingInAzkaban]

Is it bad this made me giggle a little?
I have a similar issue with a certain race of people but I say "they're not intentionally rude, it is the way they know things and sometimes things get mixed up in translation"

[Trainspotting1984]

Not all SA accents are nice, depends where they're from. I have also had a number of incidents with SA being aggressive and had to sack one. Def cultural, my DH is SA