to hate the school run?

[nevermindwhatimdoing]

I hate the school run. Absolutely hate it and wriggle out of it whenever I can, passing the job on to my hubby. I'm not sure what it is, other than all those women standing around talking bollocks and stealth boasting about their kids and lifestyle. The cliques, of which I was recently part of 😫 make me feel so uncomfortable. In recent weeks I've stopped trying with the other mums and have taken a step back, standing on my own or just chatting to whoever happens to be near me at that moment. I'm happier....I think. But part of me now thinks that I'm a loner, I'm weird for shunning the other women. I'm probably like that in all aspects of my life though. I generally see 'friends' as something I can do without and prefer to spend my free time with DH and the kids.
Does anyone else feel like this about the school run, and about having friends in general?

[nevermindwhatimdoing]

Agh! Someone tell me how to reply God dammit.

[shebagthehag]

I don't mind it. I usually stand with the same 5 mums and we occasionally meet up out of school.

No boasting or competitiveness, more moaning or asking for advice really.

When I read threads commenting on the cliquey type mums I do wonder if people think that about us but were just a group of women who've had kids around the same time who get on well. We don't bitch, we don't ignore other mums, we just don't notice them because we're catching up.

[thewholeplacestinks]

YANBU OP. could have written your post myself

[c3pu]

I don't get the whole "speaking to other people at school" thing.

My routine is something like this:
08:49 - arrive at school
08:50 - child goes into school (with the inevitable stern reminder to change his reading books)
08:51 - I'm out the gate on the way to work.

[mummypeepee]

God I hate it too! Have a 16 year son been doing it a while and now one on the way so no end in sight! I pass them off as much as I can but have found since I've distanced myself my DD doesn't get invitations to parties/after school teas as much 😕

[Oblomov17]

I don't mind it. What's not to like? I talk to people. Or I don't. Sometimes I catch up with fb or MN on my phone. Either is fine.

[Eolian]

My dc have been to 3 different primary schools and I have never experienced the awful school run stuff mentioned a lot on MN. At one of the 3 schools there was one small clique of very glam ladies with 4x4s and shrieky laughs but a) they were probably ok really and b) I didn't know them and there were plenty of non-shrieky people to talk to.
I don't really get the angst about the school run tbh. Chat to people, or don't chat to people. Just be polite and pass the time of day if none of them are your mates.

[PinkCrystal]

Love picking DC up but hate the cliques.

[2cats2many]

I have also never experienced this kind of stuff. There are some parents that I get on with, some that I don't. I don't actually know the vast majority of them. Sometimes I chat, sometimes I stand on my own, sometimes I talk to someone completely different because we catch each others eye and strike up a convo.

I just don't understand why it seems so loaded an event for so many people. Why care so much what anyone else thinks about you?

[Want2bSupermum]

I dropped my friends kids off one morning as a favour and I was left dreading the school run with my own kids. Today I do the school run in the mornings and it's much better here in the US. None of the parents stick around. It's the PTA where you find 'those' mothers that are best avoided at all costs.

Very lucky though that when it comes to school board positions the parents are lovely.

[Astro55]

star - no space - copied text-no space -

text

Then type your reply!! Have a go

[Heathen4Hire]

Introverted socially inept person here. I hate the school run. The other mums (and the parents are usually female) are generally very different from me and I struggle to make conversation. Now, my dad is in Y5 and she likes to walk down the hill to school alone. I walk her across the road and then she goes to school by herself. I like this better .

[Allthebestnamesareused]

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[Mouthfulofquiz]

I really l Iike the school run but I see I'm a minority! I'll talk to anyone who looks like they want company and we have a nice group of parents / carers that get on really well. I'd almost say we were friends!
In fact, I see them more than my friends so i think it's good to make the best of it in whatever way suits you.

[SallyGinnamon]

I loved the school run. Lots of friends to chat to and when the weather was ok we'd go to a park together after school: maybe have a coffee or spontaneous tea at someone's house.

Maybe we looked like a clique but there were a fair few of us and not everyone did everything each time. Lots of mixing sub groups.

Sadly all back at work FT now so the fun is over. I miss it

[danTDM]

Loathe it ... get to school early in the am and 5 mins 'late' in the pm so I know DD will be out and ready hopefully.

Head down and out of there

[MrsXXD]

Are the cliques really as bad as they seem or cliques at all? I'm a bit concerned the other mums I talk to and I are considered a clique when we're just mums who've got to know one another and talk about our husbands, kids etc. Tend to mostly talk to the same mums but would happily talk to others! Most mums seem to have a group, some mums are in and out, but wouldn't consider any to be particularly cliquey. There are some very glam mums including a couple I've seen doing the school run in high heels but must confess they look good doing it

[friendlyflicka]

I find it a bit boring just because I have been doing it for so long and it interrupts whatever fascinating thing I am busy with at the time, but I don't mind the other parents. I have got more and more relaxed about it over the years.

I have lots of friends away from the playground and in the playground I am just as sociable or quiet as I feel like being. I don't get very invested in the people and find that is the best way to approach it.

[Flowerpower321]

Well worth the £3/day for breakfast club so they can jump out of the car outside the front door at 7.45am, watch them go in and drive off!!

[Dahlietta]

I don't really get the issue here. The school run for me is about taking your DC to school and collecting them from school. I love chatting to my DS in the morning and hearing about his day when I collect him. The rest of the stuff is secondary. If you don't want to talk to anybody at pickup, can't you just turn up bang on turning out time or wait in your car until then?

[Downtheroadfirstonleft]

I love our school run. The school lays on coffee after drop off and 10-20 of us are usually there, having a chat. I've made some really good friends.

It's not cliquey and everyone is welcome.

[Riderontheswarm]

I love it. I've missed them. They are so happy just after school. Tell me all the things they think we're interesting about their day as we walk home. I don't notice cliques. Maybe there aren't any at my DC's school or maybe you consider women passing the time of day for a couple of minutes whilst waiting for something as cliques and I don't. Sometimes I talk to a nearby parent / grandparent / childminder. Sometimes I just wait in silence. I don't feel awkward about the latter, just less polite than when I go to the effort of thinking of some chit chat.

[nevermindwhatimdoing]

I do tend to time it so that I arrive at the very last second and both children are waiting for me. If I came across as full of angst about the school run then I came across wrong. I'm not really a socially anxious person - I wish I was that simple to fathom. I think I'm probably just a product of my childhood. My mum generally treated outsiders as someone to distrust and didn't really have any friends outside the family. My dad was the same, although away at sea a lot. Consequently mum was on her own with four small kids and fiercely independent. I just like my own company and don't need anyone else.
I dislike the school run because it's almost impossible not to get stranded chatting nonsense with someone who then insists on walking home with you. I dislike the cliques and the women in their Range Rovers with their flicky hair and claw like nails. But most of all I just hate being tied to the school run twice a day and having to plan my life around it. Don't get me wrong, I adore my children and love getting in through the front door with them and hearing about their day. I just wish I didn't have to interact with the same people 10 times a week.