AIBU to not agree?

[Frogonalog16]

So me and the OH have been together for 2.5y. He didn't have facebook when we got together but got it not long after. He's now decided he doesn't want it anymore and has deleted that and his instagram. So he txt me from work last night saying he thinks I should delete my facebook so we can start a "fresh chapter in our own little bubble"

AIBU to not want to live in a fucking bubble?! I'm a stay at home parent with a 16m old and he works shifts so I spend quite a lot of time by myself, so apart from the school run with my eldest fb is sometimes the only adult interaction I get. I told him I would get rid only if I decided I wanted to and received this reply

Ok so Facebook obvs more important than me,you do what you want in life and what makes you happy and I will do same then,see what happens. X

AIBU or is he?

[Devilishpyjamas]

Tell him to get stuffed & examine whether he is controlling in other ways.

[Penfold007]

Get all your important documents together, passports, birth certificates, financial documents etc and put them in a safe place you can easily access but he can't.
Have a look on a site such as //www.turn2us.co.uk to see what help you can get.
Did he move away from your family and friends? I'd be very cautious.

[GlitteryFluff]

I agree with others. It sounds to me that he's hiding something and doesn't want you to find out.

[HollyJollyDillydolly]

8 isn't too old to change schools, I moved nearly a year ago with a 3, 7 , 10 & 13yr old and they've all settled wonderfully at their new schools. Dont be afraid of a new start.

He sounds like an arse, I don't know the reason for him wanting you to delete fb but it's not good either way.

[Wolfiefan]

Wow. That text is horrid. Is he controlling in other ways OP?

[OptimisticSix]

^KateDaniels2

Sorry but i suspect he is hiding something and is worried someone will contact you throught social media.^

This is exactly what I thought

[OliviaStabler]

"fresh chapter in our own little bubble" = I've massively messed up and I want you to stop Facebook so I won't be found out.

Is this an isolated incident OP?

[Frogonalog16]

I don't believe he's done something he's trying to hide, just doesn't ring true for him. I only moved my 8y old less than 2 years ago so really want to avoid moving her again if possible. It was his choice to move here but its only 15 away from where I used to live and I actually prefer it here to where I was before. He's not violent or a "bad" man but I do think he has some controlling tendencies, he's very much his opinion is right and if you don't agree you're wrong. Ive posted on here before about his need for everything between the kids to be equal if its to do mith my family (my dd8, his ds3 and our dd16m) and how petty he kan get with that but his double standards when it comes to his family and his ds getting more. I just don't think I can deal with it anymore

[Topseyt]

Then don't deal with it any more. Tell him to go and fuck himself.

I am only a very occasional FB user, but if DH or anyone told me I had to stop I would stick two fingers up to them and probably use it more.

[expatinscotland]

'I only moved my 8y old less than 2 years ago so really want to avoid moving her again if possible. It was his choice to move here but its only 15 away from where I used to live and I actually prefer it here to where I was before. He's not violent or a "bad" man but I do think he has some controlling tendencies, he's very much his opinion is right and if you don't agree you're wrong. Ive posted on here before about his need for everything between the kids to be equal if its to do mith my family (my dd8, his ds3 and our dd16m) and how petty he kan get with that but his double standards when it comes to his family and his ds getting more. I just don't think I can deal with it anymore'

You need to put both your children first and get them away from this man. He's controlling. He has you over a barrel financially because you're a 'SAHM' and not married. The least of your worries is that you may have to move your 8-year-old again. I would just ignore his text. When he brings it up, you just shrug. 'I don't want to.' And start making plans to leave. And once you do, please get some financial independence.

[picklemepopcorn]

Please make exit plans. You don't have to actually go unless you want to. But please follow the advice given up thread.

That FB request is so out of line it's untrue. Whatever the reasoning behind it, it is not acceptable. Please be careful.

[sooperdooper]

God that text is controlling, threatening and odd out of the blue!

If you've not been happy for a while you need to listen to your instincts & get out - it's not about Facebook it's about him wanting to limit and control you, and you don't need any other reason than not being happy to leave

[Goingtobeawesome]

You don't be an utter fool to stay with this controlling pathetic twat.

Don't grit your teeth for the kids. It's not for the kids. It's not in their best interest for their mum to be controlled by her boyfriend and the baby's dad.

Get out now. First strike. Out.

[DanglyEarOrnaments]

I will do the same and then see what happens

That is a veiled threat, what does he mean 'see what happens' I would take that he will make sure something bad happens in your relationship if you carry on.

Control by threats, how romantic, I would get rid

If not i think you should rip him a new one and tell him never to entertain speaking to you like that again or HE will 'see what happens'.

[OneWithTheForce]

You allow your 8 yo to call him dad? Who did she call dad for the first 6 years of her life?

[Frogonalog16]

Her dad wasn't around, never has been. He did decide to turn up last January because he wanted to see her, it lasted 5 weeks. Nobody ever told her to call him dad she did it by herself, mainy to other people to start with because I think she was sick of explaining who she was talking about and then to him. He is the only "dad" shes ever known. Thankyou everyone for your replys and advice, I'd been single so long before I met him I question myself how things are supposed to be. I know deep down things aren't right

[OneWithTheForce]

Well, maybe now you can see why you shouldn't have allowed her to call him dad.

[Frogonalog16]

Well obviously....its a bit late now though

[Theimpossiblegirl]

The text is a huge red flag, but you know that or you wouldn't have asked. I do think you need to put together a plan so that you can leave without him being able to force you to stay because of money.

By all means confront him, but things will not improve.

Moving schools will be less disruptive/damaging than the effect it will have on you all if you stay with this controlling man and he manages to completely isolate you.

[Theimpossiblegirl]

One, I'm not sure how you think you're helping, pretty sure the OP is feeling shit enough already. Let's be supportive, she doesn't need another person making her feel bad.

[chipsandchilli]

I would think either

He is jealous, thinks you have been talking to someone

or

He is up to something, is flapping and trying to get your shut down so you uncontactable

[OneWithTheForce]

Not too late for the next relationship.

Wrt the Facebook thing. He has cheated and the person or someone else who only knows him through FB is threatening to tell you.

[xStefx]

Hmm im sorry but I suspect he wants you to delete facebook because he has been upto something and doesn't want anyone messaging you. Message him that back and see what his reply is then! controlling twat

[chipsandchilli]

sorry keyboard knackered some, letters keep sticking

[gamerchick]

Actually I wouldn't bring up the text with him. He's waiting for that.

What I would do... today... is gather up all paperwork, certificates, passports etc, a couple changes of clothes and other essentials and stash them at someone else's house for the minute.

You can't live under a threat and you need a plan to fall back on when he ramps things up and you have to leave. Plans are handy.