Tired, lazy or depressed? AIBU to feel upset at my friend's comment?

[PlayNoBill]

At a baby group the other day my DS 13 month old got a play dough cutter and put it in his mouth. I was sat down with a cuppa the other side of the table observing him chatting to a couple of other mums. There was another mum at the play dough table with her child and I called to her to tell her with the hopes she would just flick it out of his mouth. One of the mums I was with said "You do it lazy!" at me and I did.

When I sat down again I made my excuses, something along the lines of bad night's sleep, only just sat down with cuppa and I was feeling very tired. She said she didn't really mean anything by it and said she 'understood', but ever since then has teased me for being 'lazy'.

It has really troubled me ever since. I think I do have a tendency to steer towards being lazy but with 2 kids, working part time, all the shopping, cleaning, cooking and childcare I rarely get the chance to be lazy! I am also breastfeeding the my son and co sleeping with him and his 6yo sister, so a getting a good night's sleep is non-existent!

Am I being unreasonable to get upset at such a comment or just overly sensitive because I'm tired? I often wonder if there wasn't so much to do, would I just want to sit and stare at a wall in a darkened room and not move for hours?!

[Hissy]

Sorry, but unless I'm missing something, your situation nothing out of the ordinary.

If you're daft enough to co-sleep with a school aged child and a toddler, why would anyone else need to pick up the responsibility for your child when you're at a play group?

Part time job, house work and childcare is all to be expected. I think the co-sleeping thing is ill-advised and something you could easily do something about and transform your own life.

You're not lazy, in the same way as other parents who work, have children and clean their homes are. Nothing in what you're writing here elevates this anything above self made martyrdom.

That said, if someone asked me on a one off to take something out of their child's mouth and I was right there, I'd do it.

Have you made a habit of using this play session as time off from looking after your toddler? If the honest answer is yes, then take the woman's comment on board and make the adjustments elsewhere in your life so that you do have time to be there and play with your dc.

[hackmum]

Sometimes I look at the responses on Mumsnet and wonder:

a) Are these people just as sanctimonious and judgemental in real life?
b) If so, do they have any friends?

[minisausage]

O for gawds sake. Shes being a rude cow, and repeating it too, rude.
I think what you asked was ok.

[JackLottiesMum]

I don't think it was lazy - makes sense the closest adult helps a child out with a cutter in their mouth!
But your friend calling you lazy makes me wonder if you are asking other parents to do jobs for you that is putting them out - jobs they think you should be doing.
But if you don't think that is the case I would just forget it if I was you and move on!

[JaxingJump]

Hack

[MommaGee]

pondering if you'd rather drag your child away from where they're playing to squeeze into a toilet cubicle whilst you pee, your life choices. I'd suggest it says something about your opinion of your friends or your own neurosis. However er I do think it'd be a pretty mean person who objected to watching over mine whilst I had a pee. Not a stranger but a friend