To ask for your advice on becoming a SAHM

[Doyoufeelluckypunk]

I and my DH both work full time, netting a good wage between us, about a 35/65 split in his favour.

We have two DC's both in infant school and his role is about to change, most likely to involve more travel etc.

The topic of me taking a career break has come up and I really don't know what to think. Like everyone else ( I think!) My job is great on some days and not so great on others, there is absolutely no opportunity to go part time, or find a part time role at my level.

Part of me thinks it would be great to take a couple of years out, enjoy more time with the children, get fit (or am I dreaming!?), live at a more relaxed pace etc. But the other part of me frets about pension contributions, financial independence etc.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? All advice welcome, I am totally on the fence!

[Batteriesallgone]

I guess it's blinkered Vagina. I guess there's also my awful childhood and rape and sexual abuse I experienced in my teens. I've been suicidal.

I didn't go straight from my mums house to my husbands house as a kept little woman. I clawed my way through education and temporary accommodation, doing various different jobs until I landed a high earning career and bought my first home.

Then I moved into my husbands house and initiated a career change to kept woman.

Maybe a lot of people take happiness for granted and haven't spent much time staring into the abyss. Who knows.

[Babyroobs]

I'd carry on working but look for a part time job. It's the best of both worlds. I'm lucky I'm in a job where I have been able to increase and decrease my hours at various times during my kids childhoods. For me it would be too risky to give up income altogether as you just don't know what's around the corner.

[LunaLoveg00d]

Don't do it, your children are in school so there's no reason to be home all day every day.

Husband bashers out in force too, I see. Not all men take stay at home partners for granted, financially control them and then up and leave after 20 years, leaving the woman destitute.

My DH earns 10 times what I do. I have been at home since my eldest was born 13 years ago and work for myself, at home when the kids are at school. DH has a job which involves a lot of travel and nights away and can't just be dropped at a moment's notice when a child falls ill. We have three kids all in school - this week alone I have one at the orthodontist, one at the optician and another needing taken to a special workshop thing at a school across the city. And that's without the regular ferrying around to brownies, cubs, dancing,football etc etc etc. If I were working in a "proper" job in an office, we'd be using all of our holiday for the orthodontics and other appointments and never have time as a family!

There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to take a step back and having a couple of years at home. Take some time, do different things, volunteer, get involved at school or take up yoga. Then you might decide AS A FAMILY that actually, you'be be happier working part time. Or not at all. Or full time. Whatever works for you.

[VaginaDentata]

I guess it's blinkered Vagina. I guess there's also my awful childhood and rape and sexual abuse I experienced in my teens. I've been suicidal

Sorry to hear that, Batteries. Me, too, in fact - abused aged ten, and a career through shrinks, fairly total breakdowns and self-harm in my student years. Not that it's any kind of suffering competition, but I still can't consult nothing but my own happiness in terms of how I run my life as an adult.

My DH earns 10 times what I do. I have been at home since my eldest was born 13 years ago

Many people place two statements like this side by side on threads like this, with no apparent ability to see the link between them.

[LunaLoveg00d]

My DH only earns s massive salary because we as a family decided one of us needed to be at home and that it should be me. Leaving him free to fly off at short notice and get out of bed at 3am to go to the office when something goes tits up.

I certainly wouldn't want the responsibility or stress he has and am quite happy earning my "holiday money". It works for us. It works for our children. I'm not being treated as a skivvy or abused financially. Far from it. There are no rights and wrongs.

[user1470584717]

I gave up my 42k job to become SAHM 9 years ago. What a mistake, I was bored, stressed, 24/7 childcare as well as full time cleaner, cook etc. Never did these matters because I love my children and though husband loved me until he has been caught lying and cheating. Now I've got no where to go because I am jobless, I am still applying jobs that doesn't even cover most of the childcare cost for 3 kids. It's up to you to decide how easy it is for you to get back to your career because you probably will want one at some point hopefully not the same reason as mine.