To think it's not necessarily rude to correct the teacher?

[cherrycrumblecustard]

DS is nearly ten, he's always been well behaved for the most part and very polite. But lately he has had a bit of an edge to him. He's told me today he's been told off and had to lose his break for correcting the teachers spelling. I know it depends on how he did it. From what he's said he wasn't that rude but is it the correcting that's rude, full stop?

[cantkeepawayforever]

As other posters have said, it does depend entirely on context and manner.

So if there is something up on the board, but I am explaining / talking about something else, and Child A (who has clearly been paying no attention to the lesson) says 'Miiiiiiiis, there's a wrong spelling on the board', then I might be less than impressed, because they haven't been listening.

if on the other hand I have made a spelling mistake while e.g. modelling onto the board, and a child points this out in a timely and appropriate way (it is surprisingly easy to mis-spell when writing quickly on the board), then I just thank them for pointing it out, correct it and we move on.

However, I am a reasonably confident teacher, and in general a decent speller, so I do not get bothered about someone picking up the occasional error, if they do so politely and at the appropriate time. If I was not a confident speller, and felt uncomfortable / more vulnerable in this area, it might be harder to shrug it off, if that makes sense? It's not an excuse in any way - the good teachers I know who are relatively poor spellers are very aware of it and work very hard at it, the poor teachers who are poor spellers perhaps less so - but teachers are human...

I do also think that the question about the tone of voice / manners that a child might be hearing at home is VERY relevant, though. Put it this way, I do very often sit in parents' evening and think 'Ah yes, that's why my pupil speaks / behaves in the classroom as they do', because the way that the parent speaks to me or their partner is very similar. If a child hears adults in their life talking to one another politely and with respect, they will tend to echo that in their own dealings with adults. If they do hear one adult being snide or sarcastic or aggressive or condescending to another on a regular basis, then they are likely to produce an echo of that tone themselves - and perhaps be less sensitive to how it might sound, because to them it would be 'normal'.

[Trifleorbust]

All those saying they wouldn't have accepted the punishment, does it not matter how the child said it? Personally I think there is nothing wrong with a child correcting a spelling error, but there is a great deal wrong with rudeness.

[cantkeepawayforever]

If he can't pick up that an arrogant tone SOUNDS rude (even when the words are 'polite' or neutral) then it is absolutely worth some explicit teaching at home, through you modelling exactly what it sounds like - for example at mealtimes, or when asking him to tidy his room, or whatever. Children are often much quicker to pick the tone up when it is used TO them than when they use it, IME.

[cantkeepawayforever]

If he can't pick up that an arrogant tone SOUNDS rude (even when the words are 'polite' or neutral) then it is absolutely worth some explicit teaching at home, through you modelling exactly what it sounds like - for example at mealtimes, or when asking him to tidy his room, or whatever. Children are often much quicker to pick the tone up when it is used TO them than when they use it, IME.

[Badhairday1001]

Yes Cherry mines exactly the same. He has always been so good but since going in to year 6 is just getting a bit too big for his boots I think.

[SleepingCitySidewalk]

If he is a ten year old boy who has recently developed "a bit of an edge" and his father (primary role model) speaks to you and treats you in the same manner/tone, I would think they may well be connected or relevant.

When my DS3 was around this age I noticed an almost teenager type eye rolly attitude (I remember thinking he was too young to be a teenager!) and it transpired he was picking it from his older siblings.

Obviously it's shit for a teacher to misspell (or understandable if they made a typo etc) but if you are worried he may have had tone it might be worth considering if he is reflecting what is going on at home?

[SleepingCitySidewalk]

Cross posted. "Such an arrogant tone" honestly, could this be from your DH?

[cantkeepawayforever]

Oops! Massive multiposting fail! Apologies! Post Message button has a lag of 5 minutes, Control Enter works immediately.

D'Oh!

[Lweji]

Children do get somewhat arrogant when growing up, but it is possible and even likely that he is picking it up from his dad, isn't it?

[cherrycrumblecustard]

I don't know, he hasn't got it from me

[cantkeepawayforever]

From your thread of 14th December, I would suggest that an arrogant tone is the least he might have got from his dad's / your partner's attitude to you..... and perhaps the effect on your children and their behaviour might be something that you might want to be paying attention to.

[cantkeepawayforever]

(Apologies for cross checking on another thread, but it doers seem to be hugely relevant here)

[cherrycrumblecustard]

It's so unfair to do this to me.

[Crumbs1]

I did not take it up,with head. It was a fairly small deal. Teacher didn't like ac6 year old could spell better than her. She was generally a nice teacher and brilliant at art type things, textiles etc. I think we need to teach our kids about human failings and get them to accept life isn't always fair. I made the point at the next parents evening when we look through work. I made the teacher squirm and correct the spelling in the book. Much more effective than an angry battle.

[CancellyMcChequeface]

Missing break seems very harsh and might have been due to the teacher feeling embarrassed about the mistake. In my experience, teachers who are generally good at spelling don't take it personally when they make an occasional error that a child spots, but those whose spelling isn't strong can sometimes see rudeness where it wasn't intended.

It can be difficult even as an adult to work out the best way to tell someone about a mistake! (I remember having to approach my manager about the 'Stationary Cupboard' and 'Math's' signs that were very visible to parents coming to our nursery!) Your son definitely wasn't in the wrong, and tone/timing is something that he'll develop more awareness of as he gets older.

[cherrycrumblecustard]

hope so :) DH thinks he should complain.

[lemontrees]

Absolutely nothing wrong with correcting a spelling error but agree with all the other posters who have pointed out that it depends how he did it. I am a teacher and don't know a single one of my colleagues who would punish a student for politely pointing out that they had made an error on the board. However, as @Trifle said, the 'excuse me' seems to imply that he called out. If this is a behaviour the class teacher is trying to clamp down on, his sanction is perfectly reasonable. Similarly if his tone was rude, a loss of breaktime is reasonable - it may be, as others have suggested, that he had already been warned about calling out / speaking rudely. The teacher is in charge of the classroom and the behaviours within it and it is down to her to decide what is acceptable and what has crossed a line, provided she operates within the bounds of what is reasonable. Have you had reason to question this teacher's approach to classroom discipline before? If not, I would suggest that you trust that she is doing her job and support her in sanctioning your son. After all, you weren't there and your son has reason to bend the truth to you, so as to avoid further tellings off at home. If he is continually coming back with tales of extreme or seemingly unfair responses to behaviour or if this was more of a major concern, I'd say you should enquire further. In this case, though, I'd be inclined to believe that his teacher knows what she is doing.

[lemontrees]

Must say though @Crumbs - what happened to your DC was totally unacceptable!

[cherrycrumblecustard]

I'm sorry for sounding snappy I just can't think about DH now

[cherrycrumblecustard]

Anyway is it worth asking the teacher tomorrow?

[cantkeepawayforever]

I think if you are worried about your DS 'coming across as arrogant' in a general sense (as in, on more occasions than this single one), then it might be worth going in with a query about his general behaviour and attitude 'I gather that DS was kept in at break yesterday - is his behaviour and attitude in class OK, or is it something that we need to be working together to improve?'

If you are going in to say 'I understand DS was kept in because he corrected your spelling yesterday - I think that's very harsh', then possibly not....

Again, whether it's worth asking depends on what you want to ask, and exactly how you ask it!

[Barbie222]

Absolutely not a problem to correct! It does get annoying when TAs people spell something wrong and won't accept it though...

[MrsDustyBusty]

Anyway is it worth asking the teacher tomorrow?

For something this minor, probably not. This is an internal discipline issue and I think, since it hasn't really damaged or disadvantaged your child in any material sense, it might be a good idea to trust her judgement and speak about his manner in the next parent teacher meeting.