To wish my 3 teenagers would just leave me the fuck alone ( lighthearted)

[Boolovessulley]

Before everyone piles in, yes I know im lucky to have had children. Yes I do love them.
No I wouldn't swap them.
But for the love of god I wish they would let me have some peace and just bloody once in a while BE REASONABLE.

They have used by bloody brand new bath towel( the only one I tried to keep for myself) and one of the fuckers has got bleach all over the fucker.

They've turned the heating on ( after I've turned it off) and I'm in bed naked sweating it's roasting.
Their response: it's not our fault you're going through the menopause! I'm not btw.

They are systematically eating everything in sight.
Then asking is there anything to eat? Followed by mum will you fetch me a drink when I'm sat in the living room!

They are draining the electricity board dry.
The wifi is being sucked into their rooms and Lord forbid that mother( the one who pays for everything) should have the audacity to ever want to a) use the wifi
b) watch networks
C) not make everyone including the teenagers multiple friends drinks when she is trying to do either a or b.

Oh and I'm a miserable, menopausal bugger if I say ' no you'd friends can't sleep over, yet again, because they do all of the above!


Grr.
Is it wrong to dream of the day they will have their own homes and I shall find peace?

[OohhItsNotHoxton]

Change the WiFi code and stop doing any shopping.

[OohhItsNotHoxton]

Ah OK but at least that way it frees up Netflicks.

[roundandroundthehouses]

TBH I'd also be lighthearted about most of that (my dds are 18 and 15), except for using 'menopausal' as an insult.

[Boolovessulley]

Hi everyone.
I feel slightly calmer today, only one of them in the house 😀
A friend had offered to change my wifi code and then show me how to block devices.
It might be better than what I resorted to the last time 2 of them were screaming at each other when my ds blocked dd2s device 😤 I unplugged the router. But then non of us had wifi.
I have asked ds if he is willing to pay to upgrade the broad band as he had a part time job but he is outraged by my suggestion.
He is the one glued to his Xbox.

I am upset over the towel fiasco, I know it's ridiculous but I was looking forward to having my very own, clean, fluffy towel and now it's ruined.

The last holiday we went on I shared a bathroom with ds who showered first and used both bath towels and a hand towel. He then proceeded to throw the log onto the bathroom floor, leaving me with the option of either using one clean hand towel to shower with or having to use a wet bath towel that had been dragged along the bathroom floor.
I went mental, again resulting in ds telling me I was unreasonable and 'bloody insane'.

Ds latest is to ask if I will give him a lift (midweek) to watch football.
I've said no .
It's the night that I always pick his younger sister up from her hobby after going out for tea in the same town her hobby takes place. This town is a 30 mins drive away.
The football match is in another city. A city I absolutely hate driving in.

The look of shock on ds's face when i said no was priceless.

As for food, I have taken my entire weeks supply of yogurts into work to keep there, last week they had all been eaten by the teenagers.

[Surreyblah]

Cut off wifi.

If you give the one who damaged your towel money or lifts, stop doing so til she's paid for the towel.

Get them to do all their own laundry and cooking, buy no treat food and provide only basics.

Tell them you might consider reinstating some privileges when they treat you respectfully and cease with the misogynist and prejudiced insults!

Or tell them to F off. My DM did that once or twice!

[StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes]

And then they leave home and you miss them. And then they COME BACK SIGH oh gosh yes I can relate to this, both DS's came home for Xmas, one for a week the other for three, they both turn nocturnal practically when home as there's 'just so many people to see mum' which naturally involves being out until early hours and sleeping in it was lovely to see them both but gosh the noise, the constant showers, the rate of knots the food disappeared... we had forgotten! both gone again...... and I miss em

[Polly53]

I recognise many of your comments and you have made me feel better, thank you. I think my teenagers are just totally self-centred. I look forward to them growing up and being able to see things from an adult point of view. In the meantime I continue to fight the good fight, stick to routines, celebrate when I catch them being good and refuse to cross bottom lines. When all else fails I take the phones and the ipads and leave them with no wifi - that really hurts. It hurts more than grounding or withholding pocket money so it is effective.

[SundaeLieIn]

I have three teenagers. You have my absolute sympathy.

[BumDNC]

I have 2 of these.
DD1 got someone to cut her hair this weekend after being obsessed it needed cutting when it didn't. She hates it and got up 2 hours early to spend 3 hours straightening it whilst yelling at me to come and help/don't help I am making it worse/no please help/everything is awful

They are supposed to take turns each night to wash up the dinner things but this results in such drama it really isn't worth the hassle although I stubbornly won't let them get out of doing it

[BumDNC]

Also there is apparently never any food and tell everyone I never go shopping

[clumsyduck]

This made me laugh op though I can relate to some even though ds is only six and dss 10 ! So I have the rest to look forward to haha
Ds likes to play drawing and Mario games on my phone and the audicity of mummy ( the owner and bill payer of the dam phone ) actually wanting to use her phone !!

[Puffinsareblackandwhite]

I don't have any kids yet. I decided to teach teenagers instead.

[TitaniasCloset]

magic chicken your wise words are a comfort ti me. Would quote and repost you but on phone so can't.

The thing is I can remember being at best friends house and her mum randomly screaming, "you treat my house like a hotel!!" Oh how we would laugh...yeah not anymore

My favourite child is now my dog. The other kids are 16-22. And still behaving like teenagers at 20 and 22.
Dd moves out in two weeks though

[TitaniasCloset]

Oh bumdmc yeah I get that too. Also get running commentary from dd about how messy and disorganized my house is, though she refuses to pitch in and help. Apparently her house will never look like mine....says the girl who refuses to do any washing up despite my shopping for food, buying food, carrying food home, cooking and serving food etc She is planning to get herself paper plates when she moves out she tells me.

[nooka]

Perhaps I'm lucky in having a physically imposing dh, but I don't think either of my two would point blank refuse to do the washing up when asked. Moaning and groaning and procrastinating and generally driving us around the bend before doing their chores sure, but not outright refusal.

My two are pretty good really, they both cook once a week and join in on family cleaning day, plus look after their own washing (their rooms are the typical teenage slums mind). We get the unreasonable demands to meet their needs after making huge fusses about helping us with an apparent complete lack of connection between the two though. That might be a teenage brain thing.

[GeorgeTheHamster]

It's the faffing that kills me.

And - after years of teaching primary school kids to get everything ready the night before school - why for the love of God is the eighteen year old with an offer from Cambridge pissing around at 7:20am asking me where his school jumper is and looking for A level notes?? Obviously the jumper is on the laundry rack but apparently he didn't think to look there. As for the notes - well they'll be somewhere in the mess on your floor I imagine darling.

[Servicesupportforall]

I had 4! Youngest 17. A kick ass high achieving scary cow.

She had D&V in the night and didn't make it to the bathroom!

She turned into a clingy 4 year old whose bed I had to change and then sleep with as she was so upset.

[unlucky83]

Oh god the faffing ...I only have one teen - if I had more I think I'd have left home by now...
Last night - to teen DD1 - DD2 (9) and I going to the library in about 10 min - do you want to come too?
No.
Ok, no problem.
5 minutes later - actually I do want to come ...ok well get yourself together - we are leaving in 5 mins.
5 mins later - right shoes and coats on, lets go...
Teen DD slopes off upstairs - where are you going? What are you doing?
I need the loo...(deep breath) - ok well be quick ...
5+ mins later (after sounds of cupboards opening etc - obviously faffing in the mirror) emerges.... and goes into her slum.
What are you doing? come on, lets go - it will be too late to go soon - it closes soon...
DD crawls downstairs - Right have you got your books ready to go back?
Errr - no ....heads back upstairs - then shouts down - have you seen X library book - I can't find it....FGS - just leave it for now and come on...
Crawls back downstairs, where are my shoes? - hmm -in the hall where you left them - actually right in front of you ...(resists temptation to throw them at her) ...then she faffs with the laces...then putting her coat on...finally 15 mins after we were going to leave she is ready
DD2 was ready to leave but is now sitting in the living room (in coat and shoes) and has started watching TV - can I just finish watching this?
Aghhhhhhhhhhhhh
(Then when we get to library teen DD moans that she doesn't have time to look properly ....well maybe if we left when I said we should? )
Was reluctant to just leave her as at least if she has books she likes she spends some time not staring at a screen....
I have left her in the past...in fact both of them once (DP was home!) -
I said Right enough - if you are coming we are leaving this second - walked out, got in the car and drove off - they actually came out after me and the shock on their faces as I drove off was a picture...-
I found out from DP later they had both stood outside for 10 mins after I'd gone thinking I would come back (instead I had a peaceful supermarket shop with no pestering for extras - which is the reason they want to come!)

• I just need to go to the loo ?

[Servicesupportforall]

george my sons used to ask me which side of the drawer were the socks ffs

[unlucky83]

Stray sentence there...I knew I'd lost it somewhere... whoops.
And the revert to small child...
DD at 13, nearly 14 had a nightmare - it woke me up because she screamed 'mummy, mummy' in her sleep - she hasn't called me that (at least not unless she was overdoing the grovelling for a favour) since she was about 5...
I called 'are you ok?' and she got up and came running into our bedroom and got into bed with me and DP...
After she'd told me about her nightmare and calmed down etc - I told her she'd have to go back into her own bed, there wasn't enough room - none of us would a decent sleep. Eventually she reluctantly went - in the morning I woke up to find her asleep nested in her duvet on the floor next to my bed...
Ahhh bless....

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

You all need the Teenager Barrel ™.

It is, as the name suggests, a barrel, into which you place your teenager. You can feed them through the bung hole, and when they reach 20, you can decide whether to let them out, or just drive the bung in for good!

[Serin]

I hear you Sista

[llangennith]

Ah yes the wifi threat is very effective with DGS (he's with me a lot).
When my DC were teenagers and had their various musics blaring out all over the house so they couldn't hear me I'd resort to switching off the electricity at the mains
That got their attention.

[llangennith]

Love your tales unlucky83

[BigSandyBalls2015]

Mine come to life at night when every normal person is tired and winding down. Why?

I'll get in from work and they'll be slumped on the sofa, covered in a blanket, staring at a screen, barely acknowledge me when I ask about their day and witter on about mine.

Come 10.30/11.00 they have a new lease of life and start leaping about enthusiastically, trying out new face packs or waxing each other's eye brows. I can't be arsed with it - leave them to it, telling them to 'use their indoors voices' much to their amusement, and to turn all the lights off.

I get up at 6.30am and the house looks like blackpool illuminations