to want to yell 'he's one, you little s**t' at kids in the park

[MistySkies]

My nearly two year old has been under the weather but we went to the park for a run around and walked past three 8(approx) year olds sat on a log playing on their phones. For some reason my son beamed for the first time all day and two of them rolled their eyes. Then one said something to the other (i think about the game) and they laughed, which made my son laugh. One looked at my son and said 'Ugh we weren't laughing with YOU'. He just toddled off oblivious so it didn't really matter but for some reason I felt this massive rage and it took every fibre of my being to stop myself shouting 'He's one you little s**t!!!' I'm not normally like that but I have noticed feeling that way a couple of times before if older kids are nasty (he's been walloped by younger kids and that doesn't bother me at all because they don't know what they're doing). Is it normal to feel so irrationally angry with people who are still kids themselves or am I one of those PFB mums I've read about?! If I'm like this now I don't know what I'll be like if he has issues at school (which he's bound to at some point because that's life), do I just need to try to harden up a bit?

[MontePulciana]

They sound like mean kids. My son has met plenty of kids that age that wouldn't be mean like that. We met some on holiday and they loved playing with him. They just sound like a boring miserable bunch. I'd have probably told them not to be mean to my child but to say it to me instead. Not challenging little shits like that just encourages them.

[hugz]

My 16 years old would have laughed with him probably had a chat with him. A good friend has an 8 year old. Every time he sees them he does a flying leap into there arms for a hug. They don't care even if they are with mates.

[LaurieMarlow]

Aw, I have felt this OP. It's natural to want the world to be kind to your child.

Don't stress about it, just bite your tongue.

[dollydaydream114]

Fully aware that 8-year-olds don't want to hang around with toddlers but I also think 8 is plenty old enough to understand that a child as young as that smiling at them is not something to be arsey about.

Fine for them to ignore him, which is what I suspect most kids that would not unreasonably do, but yes, they were being quite shitty to be deliberately sneery. It's probably a "showing off in front of their mates" thing. It's no big deal but I can see why it made you cross.

[m0therofdragons]

I would be mortified and surprised if my 8yo behaved like that but I would take a guess the kid's parents wouldn't care. My 8yo also would go to the park alone (not sure she'd even want to) but does scoot or cycle round the block.

[TeapotDictator]

I would have said something too. Not "you little shits" but I would have said "that wasn't very nice was it?!" or similar.

It is being a bit PFB, but what I always hated in that situation was them feeling as though in front of an adult they were able to be like that, just because THEIR parent wasn't there to pick them up on it. And I'm a big believer in the 'it takes a village' mentality and don't think it can do any harm to reinforce the message.

(Btw I also agree that when yours get to that kind of age, you also think they're still learning all this stuff - but having said that I wouldn't let my kids get away with talking like that to a toddler had I heard it!)

[AmoIsNoLongerEmo]

I would have said something. My DH firend's niece, daughters, and step daughter (11-9) once were trying to get rid of my 3yo while we were over for a cook out. I kept trying to entertain my DD but she really wanted to play with the older girls. We'll finally they had told her that they would play with her, took her outside and gave her the hose and went running back inside. I went and got my girl and brought her back in. My DH and his friend were just getting back from the store and I told the little ring leader that she needs to be nicer to my DAD, she's only 3 and it was so wrong for them to bring her outside, the little brat said something along the lines of they had only gone back inside to get their shoes. The other parents heard me talking to them and all talked to their daughters, my DH all talked to the girls and the parents also all came and apologized to me. The friends sister was very embarrassed that her daughter acted like that. I don't put up with older kids knowingly being mean to little ones.

[AbernathysFringe]

Oh not the PFB accusers because you have the dreaded EMOTIONS about your child! Yawn.You didn't actually swear at them, you were totally right to feel defensive of your happy, friendly baby being given unfriendly, cynical bitchy reception by 8 years olds going on teens by the sound of it. I would have said, 'he's one and being friendly, don't you know any better?' to them at least. Something along those lines. Asshats.

[AudreyBradshaw]

Yep, that broke me a little bit twodrifters 😦 especially as 6 week old PFB ds is asleep on me and I'm still absolutely FULL of hormones.

[Sweets101]

I hate my auto correct it makes a lot of what I write not make sense

[Sweets101]

No quite normal. You get over it by the time they're 8 themselves (unless they dole it out) but when babies it's hard not to be very protective. I think you're meant to be aren't you? It's your baby, would be odd if you didn’t.
I remember someone who didn’t like me much (for good reason to my shame) giving DD2 a scathing look when she was a baby. Some what irrational I now feel we are equal (we're not, what is did was much worse, but look at my baby like that! )

[LTBforGin]

Ever seen a lioness when someone hurts her cubs?
She would try and fight a lion if he was hurting her cubs.
If a mum gets even a whiff of danger/threat to her cubs then god help them. Mum will defend to the death.

Pure instinct.
But take the threat with a pinch of salt where mindless comments from 8 year olds are concerned.

[LauderSyme]

Yanbu, I totally get this. When my ds has been treated badly I've wanted to pin the perpetrator in a Darth Vader death grip and snarl a stream of vile invective. I've been quite shocked by the violent strength of my feelings! So far I have restrained myself and only issued a few very gentle reprimands and very hard stares.

[DailyFaily]

I have a 8 year old and I'd be mortified if he was acting like this, he's old enough to know better and I'd be completely on your side if you called him out on it, I wouldn't even object if you called him a little shite because it's shitty behaviour and I'd understand your anger and be happy to explain that to him. I would have no truck with any arguments that this is how 8 year olds are - they may think they're too cool to be kind to someone half their size but they need to learn differently

[PinguForPresident]

8-year-olds, "hanging out" on their phones at the park? Seriously?

Kids don't have phones at age 8 on the whole (my 8y/o daughter doesn't, not do her friends). 8y/o kids don't hang out unsupervised at parks unless they have exceptionally lax parents. It seems standard round here to get a phone in year 6 (age 11), rather than Year 3 (age 8)

I'd suspect the kids being unkind to your baby were considerably older, more like 10-11. My daughter and her friends would not have acted similarly and I don't think most kids would have. But some kids are poorly supervised and have little adult input into their interations, and might be more liely to act in such a way. But it's not standard behaviour.

[GimmeeMoore]

Look feeling fiercely protective about your child is normal.you just keep it in your head.to yourself
I don't articulate it,don't act on it.but yes I'd like to address every wrongdoing enacted on my dc
I know I'm overreacting I just rein it in.in my head imagine ghastly revenge on perpetrators

[1horatio]

Oh, I think your instincts are completely normal. Of course, you have to know when to act on them and when not, but I think it's completely natural to feel murderous rage if someone is mean to your toddler.

Yes, exactly.

I don't think YABU to feel this way? Acting on it? Sure, that would be U. But feeling this way is quite normal imo.

[MabelSideswipe]

Were they really only 8 at that does not seem very typical of 8 year olds. My old would have completely ignored him though. He has zero interest in toddlers and is not old enough to think they are cute.

[DarkDarkNight]

It was a bit mean of them. My son often says hello to children when we're walking past and I've never had any not say hello to him, kids younger than 8 up till teenagers alone and in groups.

My son is three and often joins groups in soft play or at the park and thinks he's playing with them even when they run away from him or obviously don't want him to join them. I always feel really sad for him, so I get where you're coming from.

[paxillin]

Kids older than your eldest can seem terrifying and really badly behaved. Always put a potential "yet" at the end of any "my child isn't doing that...".

[Strongmummy]

Not unreasonable at all to feel hurt and angry. To be frank I would have said "don't be so rude" to the kid in question. Wouldn't have called him a shite though

[YorkiesGlasses]

I think it is quite normal to get a surge of adrenaline when you feel your child is likely to be hurt in some way - even emotionally hurt. That our bodies are designed to respond in a way more suitable for beating off a sabre toothed tiger than a couple of snarky 8 year olds is unfortunate.

^^ This. It's not 'PFB' to feel affected when someone is nasty to your baby, it's totally normal.

[Thegiantofillinois]

It might be normal, but it's twattish. Ds is 7. He would have given a blank look, as babies are a mystery to him, but never a comment. I suppose really you should feel sorry for an 8 year old who needs to laugh at a toddler to look big.

[SemiNormal]

My usual phrase in situations like this lately is to just say 'Well that wasn't very polite' and to give them what I call the 'mum look'.

I don't think you were being unreasonable, nor do I think you would have been unreasonable to call them out on their behaviour (although calling them shits might not have been appropriate) - if my son is out playing when he's that age and I'm not around then I hope someone would alert me to something like that or tell him off in my absence.

[Awwlookatmybabyspider]

No you weren't being PFB or unreasonable. You were being a mother. Your son is only one. Just a tiny baby, and these children are 8 years old. Bit of a massive difference, and. They're old enough to know better. When I was that age and saw a baby. I'd be wanting to mother it.