To not let dd become a vegetarian

[hopefulclam]

She is 16 and adamant that she wants to stop eating meat. I do not think this is a good idea as she doesn't eat much veg but she says she will now. I don't know what to do, I would rather for her to wait until she is 18 and fully developed.

She does not eat cheese or drink much milk. She did say she would continue eating fish which she does love. I am concerned she wouldn't be getting enough protein. She isn't active, but she is tiny, only 5'2 and just over 6 stone.

What else can she eat? And do I have a say in it?

[lizzieoak]

She does sound underweight.

That issue aside, the two of you need to get a couple of cookbooks for ideas. Most of us vegetarians eat a little differently than meat eaters: more curries, stir fries, risottos, pastas, etc. Anna Jones has a couple of great cookbooks for vegetarians and vegans. I have a ton of veggie cookbooks, but the Jones ones are in heavy rotation right now.

[GilMartin]

I turned vegetarian at the age of 7 and am 36 now, so turned veggie in a era before quorn was sold or before tofu, lentils, pasta(other than from a Heinz tin) were widely eaten or purchased by working class familes.

If my mum couldn't make me eat meat at the age of 7 and despite there being a near total lack of meat alternatives (a lump of cheese and two veg was my Sunday dinner staple for years) how on earth do you propose to make your 16 year old daughter turn pescatarian?

You can make things needlessly awkward for the sake of providing easy to cook meat-free alternatives (which are often cheaper than the meat equivalent) but you won't be able to force her to eat meat.



My mum couldn't make me eat meat at nine and after a few days of standoff, gave me a lump of cheese to go with the two veg, rather than a lump of meat. Given the lack of alternatives and given the lack of food choices open t

[Tomorrowillbeachicken]

I'd not worry about the vegetarianism but I'd definitely worry about the weight.

[blahblahblah2000]

My nine year old has been vegetarian for about a year now, I think you are being unreasonable. Pescatarian is easier than. Vegetarian anyway. You can however ask her to contribute to making meals at 16 so that will save you some time.

[SparklyUnicornPoo]

When my little sister became a pescatarian, age about 15, my mum made her research how to make sure she was still getting all the protein, vitamins etc she needed and sort out some recipes/meal ideas, mum used to let her know what the rest of us were having and sis could either plan something that wasn't much more work for mum or cook her own dinner.

At 16 if she's serious about it there's not really anything you can do to stop her, you can refuse to cook an alternative but you can't make her eat meat, so all you can really do is support her to make sure she knows how to eat healthily.

[LarrytheCucumber]

Being a veggie is not an issue. My father lived to 99 having been a lifelong vegetarian, having no health issues until he was about 95. But it is not uncommon for girls developing eating disorders to become vegetarian so they control what they eat, so I wonder if there is more to this.

[FishlessCake]

I remember from a very young age being uncomfortable eating meat that from age 6 I only ate fish but my mother let me give this up at age 10 when I went strict vegetarian. That was nearly 22 years ago and I'm now vegan. I let my children choose. Dd (6) has been vegetarian for two years and ds (4) is vegetarian now too.

[Blueredballoon]

I can't get my 3 year old DS to eat at meat whatsoever and never have done- I'm not sure how you can force a 16 year old! If she'll eat fish then that's really easy, meal-wise.

I don't think being a vegetarian is an issue at all. But if there are other food issues then this might be concerning as other posters have said.

[NaughtyNiffler]

It sounds like she wants to be a pescatarian, nothing wrong with that. Being a vegetarian doesn't mean you swap meat for veg so her current veg consumption shouldn't be an issue.

[Nakedavenger74]

I'm guessing you are worried about weight loss and veggie food is likely to exacerbate that. I grew up veggie. Not any more but my parents still are. They are northern working class and love what I would call 'wholesome northern food'. The error is thinking veggie food is different. It's not. Just take out the meat from your average meal,load up on extras and get substitutes elsewhere. For example;
Roast lunch. Loads of veggies and yorkshires. Veg stuffing and gravy. Quorn roast if you want to replace meat (I didn't but my parents love them)
Curries. Loads of veg in there. Again quorn pieces if you want
Pasta, risottos,pizzas, wraps. Just without the meat. A veg lasagne in my eyes is far better than a meat one.
Tomato pasta with stacks of courgette, peppers, sweet corn spinach in a tomato sauce. Cheese and lots of it.
Linda McCartney pies and sausages with mash and gravy
Sweet potato with lots of fillings
Grab filo or puff pastry sheets. Fill with fried or roasted veg or creamy mushrooms.

The point I'm making is vegetarians don't have to live on nutroasts and rabbit food. My mother is pushing 70 doesn't look a day over 50 and is certainly not skinny!

[ConvincingLiar]

Yabu. You can't stop your daughter from becoming pescatarian. You do need to support her in planning a healthy diet.

[Champagneformyrealfriends]

What are you going to do, force feed her?! YABU.

[Ohyesiam]

She is old enough to decide, but id be wanting to come to some agreement with her that she stats eating a wide range of veg, and starts educating herself about veggie nutrition . for eg, protien with not likely be a problem, it's hard to avoid, but if she has no dairy at all, she will need to eat lots of dark green leafy veg, pumpkin seeds, blackstrap molasses, to get her calcium.

[shrunkenhead]

I'd be more concerned about eating disorders. I turned veggie at 15 to eliminate a lot of meat/fat etc and it helped progress my ed nicely (to my crazy mind any way! ). If she doesn't have any body issues/ulterior motives then of course you have to let her and tbh there isn't a great deal you can do to force her to eat meat at her age.
I'm just hypervigilant about eds in teenage girls.

[user1471462115]

This is screaming eating disorder to me.
Her bmi is about 15 and many services admit to hospital at this weight

Being vegetarian but not eating dairy is a huge red flag..........

She would get an urgent appt with our service at that weight and wanting to be vege. ie we would see her this week.

Start with an apt at your GP and ask for a full physical and ask for a referral to your local Camhs ED team

Have a lookat BEAT website for more information and start talking to her.
She will deny. That is a symptom......

Good luck

[mirokarikovo]

At 16 she is old enough to be allowed to make her own decisions about what she eats and certainly old enough to cook for herself if what you are cooking for the family isn't suitable for her. However she needs to demonstrate a sound understanding of how to make sure she is getting enough nutrition of all the right kinds into her diet. There is no reason to worry about her not being able to get all the nutrition she needs from vegetarian sources. So long as she is fully informed about what she needs. However, your OP rang alarm bells for me because for some young people with pre-existing issues around food and body image, going vegetarian can be a step on the way to anorexia. It can be nothing to do with this (I went veggie at 14 and this was never an issue for me) but it's a possibility to be aware of.

[Aeroflotgirl]

Yabvvvu she is 16 not 6 and almost an adult, she can decide if she wants. Mabey get her to cook some of her vegetarian food.

[Skang]

You lost me at 'she's 16' too. It might have been different if she was a fussy three year old.

[Aeroflotgirl]

However she sounds very underweight, I woukd be concerned she is using vegetarianism as a means to further cut food groups from her diet. I would sit down and discuss healthy nutrician diet. Mabey check her BMI with her, and discuss the result with her (likely to be underweight). Buy a veggie cook book and pick some recipes and go shopping with her.

[DoItTooJulia]

I'm not sure that turning food choices into a battle ground is a sensible way to proceed with a teenager.

I'd let it be and see where it takes her.

[CocktailQueen]

Op, where are you??

It depends why your Dd wants to be vegetarian (or peseta rain, if she will continue to eat fish). Is it for ethical reasons or is it to control her weight? She sounds very underweight. I agree with User above - I'd contact your GP and have her seen.

If it is an ethical issue, then she's old enough to be involved in choosing meals and cooking, and. There are plenty of veggie cookbooks out there. However, I'd worry about that after your Dd's health has been checked out.

[MiladyThesaurus]

If you're not worried about it being an eating disorder rather than a genuine food choice, then I don't see why you'd say no.

I'd tell her that she can be vegetarian but you're going to continue cooking as normal. So if she wants to eat differently she needs to cook for herself.

[Clankboing]

As a mother of a child with an eating disorder, I would urge you to be extremely vigilant. This was one of the first indicators that my daughter had an eating disorder (especially with the other things that you mention). I would look at her history on any devices if possible. If she is regularly deleting it, that too may indicate things (calorie counting etc). She may need to be seen by a GP if so.

[chipsandgin]

I agree with PP's - you urgently need to investigate the potential eating disorder, even if it is dressed up as a GP visit to discuss her health prior to becoming a pescetarian. She does sound dangerously underweight and this might be a ploy to eat less rather than a moral standpoint.

There are tons of healthy hearty vegetarians though and eating a healthy veggie diet plus fish is very simple, especially if she will eat more vegetables. I became veggie at 11 (& started eating meat again at 28), no health issues whatsoever. Maybe try this book: 'Becoming Vegetarian: The Complete Guide to Adopting a Healthy Vegetarian Diet'. There is no 'letting' someone become a veggie, it is entirely her decision.

[aaahhhBump]

I did this to my mum at 12. It worked out OK, I had to cook at least 1 meal a week for everyone and 2 meals for myself in the freezer, i.e. two portion veg lasagne. What are her reasons? I was fed up of all the scares, bse. Now it's more if I can't/ wouldn't kill and prepare it is don't eat it. Jack Munro's blog is great for recipe ideas.