Is this U?

[TowerRavenSeven]

I got called on this out of the blue from an old 'friend/enemy'.

From the time ds was old enough to understand until maybe the age of 5 when he needed to do something (go to bed, leave the house) or stop something (come in from playing) we sometimes used a timer.

I'd give ample warning (10 mins) or so and tell him when the timer rings it's time to do whatever we wanted him to do. We definitely did not use it every day, more like a few times a week. MIL had green pepper shaped kitchen timer, and we had an apple shaped one so it made it kind of fun plus more importantly he could see how much time he had left because the dial moved, it wasn't digital.

It was kind of fun to say 'apple rang, time to get your shoes on', etc. it worked fantastic. Ds never questioned it and it didn't make us the bad guy, if pepper/apple said it was time to go it was.

However above said old friend/enemy once told me it was bonkers and an utterly stupid thing to do, treating ds like a dog (?!) I myself use a timer even now a lot, like I'll clean for such and such time, then take a break, so I never thought this was odd at all especially it's not like we used it for everything we asked ds to do. But it always bothered me that she thought it was demeaning to ds and bonkers. Do you think it was?

[oldlaundbooth]

This is genius.

I'm off to buy an apple timer tomorrow.

It'll give DS a sense of, well, time

[Sparklingbrook]

I used this. it was great. When the 'dinger' sounded that was that, time to stop what they were doing.

I used to bet them that they couldn't get dressed before the dinger went off too. Worked a treat on the whole.

Set the timer, tell them how long they have and off you go....

[TyneTeas]

My dd (age 12) tried to sabotage my setting of a timer tonight - I said she had twenty minutes until up to bed and as I was trying to use Okay Google to set it she was calling out fifty minutes over me - sharp packed it in when I changed the command to eleven minutes

[ThePinkOcelot]

I think it's a good idea OP. Wish I had thought of it. DDs are a bit too old for it now.

[SteppingOnToes]

Much better to have a countdown and a warning that get the "5 more minutes?"

[DJBaggySmalls]

I wish I'd thought of that, it kind of puts the blame for the fun stopping on the timer. Genius!

[ConvincingLiar]

I do it with my toddler. Either on my phone or with the amazon echo. Typically 2 more minutes in the bath or I'll read a story in 10 minutes. Works reasonably well.

[Muddlingalongalone]

I've always done this with dd1 - used to do it with cooker timer when we loved in a flat but also with numbers on cooker clock once she recognised them (loved numbers at 2.5/3 crap at maths now at 6) & still do it with her on ipad at night when I'm putting Dd2 to bed as time to stop watching & get into bed.
Haven't done it yet with Dd2 who's just over 2 coz I don't think she'd get it yet but rapidly approaching that stage now as the independent streak is huge & tantrums are beginning

[DramaAlpaca]

Great idea to use a timer.

I used to give my DC a ten minute, then five minute, then two minute warning before we did something, but if I'd thought of a timer back then I'd have used it.

[TheOtherGalen]

Next time you see that frenemy, be sure to have an egg timer with you. Tell her she has exactly 30 seconds within which to disparage your parenting skills.

[Liiinoo]

I think your 'friend' is jealous that you have system that works. Be smug OP.

[IWantATardis]

I often give the DC warnings about 10 / 5 minutes left before xyz happens, but I hadn't thought of using a timer as a visual aid to that.

It's a great idea. DS1 in particular reacts very negatively if he feels things have been sprung on him without warning.

[coxsorangepippin]

I use timers for myself. It's called the 'pomodoro technique' if you google it and it makes me much more productive!

[ChuckSnowballs]

I used to use it with my stepdaughter for reading before bed. She loved it so much she stole it and took it home with her

[WorraLiberty]

That's a really good idea.

I used to point to the hands on the clock and say, "When they get to here, you need to do XYZ". My mum and dad used to say the same to us.

I don't see the difference although I like your idea much more.

[WorraLiberty]

She loved it so much she stole it and took it home with her

I don't know why that made me laugh so much!

[SENPARENT]

I used to use a timer for my son with autism who couldn't cope with things being sprung on him. I used to set the timer on the cooker and say "When the beeper goes you have to get ready for bed," or whatever it was I wanted him to do. It worked a treat.

Your friend is a twat.

[VimFuego101]

We use a timer with DS all the time. It took all the confrontation out of it and made life much easier.

[AmeliaJack]

Well she sounds just delightful.

I haven't ever used a time that particular way (although we do say in five minutes we are leaving please go to the loo and put on your shoes etc) but we do occasionally set a time to ensure equal turns on the electronic games or toys.

We also do "10 minute tidies" where we set the time and all run around madly until it goes off.

Keep the timer, lose the friend.

[AmeliaJack]

^^ timer Autocorrected to 'time' all the way through that post grrr.

[Biffsboys]

Why did I never think of this - off to search for a fun shaped timer tomorrow !!!

[Witchend]

How many dogs understand timers?

Helpful for ds too, he's 9yo, and I use my phone on countdown.

[Ohdearducks]

We do this for the kids at school your frenemy is being a dick. But I'm guessing that's why she's a frenemy.

[Ohdearducks]

Sorry that should say nursery I don't work in a school, I have no idea why I said that

[EllenJanethickerknickers]

Just adding to the consensus. DS2 has ASD and a timer was essential for transitions when he was younger. He wouldn't strop half so much if the timer said it was the end if his turn, time for school etc. I used an kitchen timer with an LCD display that counted down and gave warning beeps at 10 and 5 minutes to go, then a final alarm. He's 17 now and I still use it for timing the pasta!

We now use his phone alarm to remind him to leave the house and catch the bus to college (different time each day.)