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AIBU?

To not make my Dad his Christmas Dinner again...

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WiddlinDiddlin · 26/12/2016 22:10

I'll try and get all the backstory in here...

So my sister and I live close to one another (same estate) and our elderly father lives about 5 miles away in a naice big house.

He is a grumpy fucker and frankly, enjoys being that way and believes being 75 gives him licence to be a shit.

He enjoys trying to divide my sister and I, who have a fairly firey relationship but we can get on and work together well most of the time.

To give you an idea of his sense of humour, he likes to pick on someones weaknesses as he thinks thats funny and that everyone else will join in with him laughing at their discomfort, so an example of that..

I gave him a box of chocolates, small box, hand made with 'MINE!' written on it as he loves to pointedly not share.

I am very overweight (something he's bullied me about for years), I am also diabetic and so I don't eat chocolate anyway and its been a long long time since I gave a shit..

So he gets his present, opens it, ooh goody chocolates.. and then offers everyone else a chocolate but makes a huge point of saying EVERYONE CAN HAVE ONE BUT NOTWiddlinDiddlin, YOU AREN'T ALLOWED BECAUSE YOU ARE FAT BITCH...

Oh how we laugh, hilarious. He genuinely does not notice that no one else thinks its funny - never has.

Anyway back to the point - each year for the last 4 or 5 years, my sister and I have split the cooking of the christmas dinner between us, and its either been hosted at her house or his.
He pays 50% of the cost and we pay the rest between us (based on his suggestion as he is frankly, minted and we aren't).

Every year he is determined to point out exactly what we have done wrong - the meat isn't cooked right, the yorkshire puddings are wrong, the gravy isn't right.

This year between us we really pulled out the stops, 3 course feast - home made pork and chorizo pinwheels, selection of crispy chinese party starters, melba toasts, pate, cheese... and then the main, the beef was perfectly pink in the middle, there was cauliflower cheese, roasted new potatoes, sprouts, parsnips, carrots, chipolatas, proper gravy, yorkshire puddings...

Followed by a giant lemon and passionfruit pavlova, and mini mince pies and cream.

All of this cooked to at least 'good pub grub' standard as well (we are both pretty decent cooks!)

He stuffed himself with starters then declared he wasn't impressed with any of them (but ate at least three of each thing)..

He bitched constantly that there was too much food (for five of us) despite us pointing out that we all like left overs and had plans for it all.

Every slightly positive comment HAD to be followed up with a complaint.. for example..

"I suppose the potatos are quite nice.... but its not as good as the pub dinner we had in the week' (pub dinner was an overpriced dried up mess which HE had bitched about at the time!)..

Or

"Thankyou for getting the sprouts I do like sprouts... but this gravy isn't as good as I make..' (the gravy was made from the meat juices and topped up with bisto.. whereas his gravy is JUST bisto and hot water..)..

Or..

"Thankyou for coming and re-dressing my wrist, but you've been here all bloody day now...! (he has had carpal tunnel surgery two days ago and then took the bloody dressing off after being told not to, so demanded I came round 4 hours earlier than planned to put it back on!)..

Then I brought out the pavlova, a dessert I make ONCE a year because frankly, I am diabetic and can have the TINIEST bloody sliver, and I made it because HE asked for it...

"Oooh tahts DISGUSTING... thats far too big, far too sweet, its gross, its no wonder you are as fat as you are you disgusting pig"

So I said its ok he doesn't have to have any, left overs were being split between me, sister and a guest of sisters (yes all this is in front of a guest!)..

Put it on the table and ask who wants ready to start cutting up and he comes over and leans over it, picking the crispy bits off the top (i do a double decker one!) with his FILTHY hands all bloody over it, and I ask him not to as he's got his hands over everyone elses food and he just laughs and says its his house he can do what he wants...

At that point I started to get a bit sharp and pointed out we could all just go home if he wanted to carry on like that so he shut up..

And then ate two huge portions, demanded a third to go in his fridge whilst berating me for being fat and idle (he has forgotten I am disabled, as thats not convenient for him to remember when he wants to have a pop at someone!)... and banging on about how disgusting such a pudding is...

Then we all buggered off at half 9 as I was fed up of the old bastard (who had sat on his arse all day, been ferried to the pub by my sister, collected from the pub by my OH, fed by us, washing up done by us, left overs divvied up and sorted out by us) and he has the cheek to say 'oh are you going to leave me on my own now?'...

I know he is a lonely old bastard but he is a controlling manipulative fucker as well (which is why he isn't invited to anyone ELSES christmas dinners and doesn't have many friends!)

Opening presents... we don't have a lot to open all being adults but we had to ask him three times to sit down and 'do' presents and he takes HUGE delight in refusing to open his and then when he DOES open them, he bitches about what he's got (if you don't get anything for him though he will bitch about that too!).

I said to my sister afterwards I am NOT spending two days cooking, running around after the old git to be put down, torn apart and generally unappreciated the whole time he can have a fucking Waitrose ready meal dinner and like it next year.

She said..
"Oh well at least he didn't throw a plate at me like he did last year!"

I fully intend to do our own thing next year but I bet by that time my sister will try and make me feel like im being a bitch for not wanting to go through this again.

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WiddlinDiddlin · 27/12/2016 02:16

Cheers folks I am cheered up and empowered! Or summat.

I really like the idea of questioning, when he has a pop at me 'why do you need to say nasty things like that' etc etc..

Next time I speak to him I am going to tell him I won't be doing the christmas thing again - he will undoubtedly tell me its ok as he won't live til next christmas anyway (he is always saying this, he's going to die next week, and has been for the last five years) but I am going to make it clear why I won't be doing it again and why we buggered off at 9 and didn't spend the rest of the evening with him.

Feel better now - why can't people just be bloody nice to one another! goes to fuss dogs

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