Don't know if I'm just being unreasonable and oversensitive, but was visiting my best friend who's just had a baby. She also had a five year old girl. The new baby was premature and recently out of hospital and I've dropped things numerous times, to help her with things such as childcare, apppintments and shopping etc.
My baby is 14 months old and when we were visiting she was due her lunch. I was feeding her in my friends high chair in her kitchen and gave her something she'd never tried before. Her reaction was to spit it out into her hand and throw it on the table. I didn't think this was a big deal, it was less than a spoonful of food and was onto a wipe clean table. I jokingly said that she would be reminding my friend what it was like to have a toddler. she quickly replied that her five year old had never thrown food when she was a toddler. I was surprised and asked,"really? She never threw food?" She then said, "she wasn't allowed to."
This really hurt and does not seem like a big deal, but I felt it was a direct dig, as if I was lacking discipline for my baby. I was hurt and replied, well neither is she, but that's what babies do. She said again, that hers didn't and that had never once thrown food?!? WTF?!
She did lots of things with her lg when she was a baby that I disagreed with and would never do, but I never once said a thing as that was her choice. Examples include, putting her in her own room at 5 days old so she got a better sleep, having her stay at her grandmas every Friday and Saturday night since she the first weekend she was born, so she could have free time, pureeing her food until she was 4, refusing input from a physio recommended by her nursery as she didn't think it was necessary and giving her fizzy juice and hard boiled sweets from two years old. I disagreed with all of this, but never once commented as I don't see this as my business.
My baby is 14 months and no one has made me feel the way she did. I know I'm probably being completely over sensitive, but felt it was a dig at my baby's behaviour and my (lack of) parenting skills.
AIBU?
Friend criticising parenting?
Bigbertha123 · 23/12/2016 01:27
Babies that don't throw food are the minority. Food offers a range of sensory stimulation, so as annoying as the clean-up operation is, the baby gets a benefit from it.
I found puree worse than chunks of food. It was surprising the difference in leverage made by a spoon as it catapults through the air, whereas most solids dropped in a small radius.
I'm sure baby #2 will redress the balance in due course. There's nothing like a younger sibling to make you realise that #1 was a fluke 
My baby didn't throw food either, he passed it to me when he didn't want it anymore. I, of course, take this as a sign that I am a fabulous mother 
I ignore all other behaviors that are t quite so wonderful and in no way let them get in the way of my wonderful ness... sadly he is older now and it's far harder to keep up the pretense, if even to myself.
Bugger. Could it be that I'm, err, rather more normal than I'd like to believe?!
Let it glide over you. If you cannot accept that your parenting styles and ideas are so different, then give yourself a bit of room so you can move away from the you- judge-her-judging-you dynamic. Life's too short!
she quickly replied that her five year old had never thrown food when she was a toddler. I was surprised and asked,"really? She never threw food?" She then said, "she wasn't allowed to."
MIL said thing like this - mixture or rose tinted glasses and just not letting her child feed them selves - spoon feeding then feeding with forks till quite old.
She tired it with one of mine - ignored all his grabbing for spoon then ignored all his I'm full and kept shovelling in - I did try and intervene but was dealing with baby and cooking dinner and expected DH to rein her in - he was sick almost immediately apparently that was normal 
.
Puréed her food til she was 4 but let her have hard sweets at 2? 
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