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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think sedating kids for a quiet life is not on?!

174 replies

glitterazi · 19/12/2016 01:08

Really don't want to link to this but going to have to for context as too hard to explain otherwise.
On what planet is it reasonable to drug your kids for a plane ride for a quiet life?
Read the blog post and then the comments.
Seems there are actually people out there that would do this, and not just the blogger. Which is kind of depressing.
I just don't get why you'd drug your kid to sleep when there was no medical reason to and you say yourself it's "because people may look at you with stares" - (look in the comments themselves for that beaut)
AIBU?)

www.jetlagandmayhem.com/destinations/planning-tips/sedating-kids-on-the-plane-with-phenergan/

OP posts:
pictish · 19/12/2016 09:03

Sounds like a plan to me!

Gillybean76 · 19/12/2016 09:04

I was given this as a baby because I was such an awful sleeper. My mum says she had to go to a different chemist each time in case anyone Sussed
what she was using it for!

Friend of mine is from South Africa originally and the first time she flew back with her very young DD the doctor prescribed phenergan should she need it. As it turned out she was fine and slept no bother. Friend was just worried about whether her daughter would be able to settle in a strange environment or end up screaming the whole flight.

AdoraBell · 19/12/2016 09:17

Just seen the devil's advocate post.

My dogs, while treated with care by a wonderful vet at the outset, where shoved in a box dog crate and put in the hold then handed over to strangers before being dumped put in the back of a van by more strangers before finally being reunited with family.

No amount of explaining the process, like I did with the DCs, could make them feel more secure about what was happen.

MERLYPUSSEDOFF · 19/12/2016 09:20

Thankfully my 2 don't have SN (I would use if needed without hesitation). We have done long haul twice. They were told it would be boring and the second one had stop-overs and even more boring waits.

Thankfully, they saw it as an adventure and enjoyed every minute.

(I was bored shitless)

SoupDragon · 19/12/2016 09:22

Drugging a perfectly healthy child is borderline child abuse

Don't be so utterly ridiculous. One single dose of an antihistamine is not even close to child abuse.

NathanBarleyrocks · 19/12/2016 09:25

As a PP said. Why on earth would you take a young child on a long-haul flight anyway? Unless you were moving abroad when it is obviously unavoidable.

pictish · 19/12/2016 09:26

Borderline child abuse my backside. Grin
Oh the drama.

Aeroflotgirl · 19/12/2016 09:30

dingdong don't be so silly, providing its under a doctor, I feel its fine, the risks are minimal. You try taking an severely SN child on a flight, not only are they distressed and anxious, but the impact on the whole cabin as well, and risk them getting chucked off. Yes I chose to have kids, but I did not choose SN. As parents of SN kids, it is 10 times harder than for those who have children without sN, without judgement being reined at us. Yes we need breaks and holidays to, and if sedating a child with sN, takes the edge of their anxiety, and helps them relax so be it!

We all make decisions on behalf of our kids everyday, as they are not legally able to make an informed decision themselves.

dingdongthewitchishere · 19/12/2016 09:31

drama? when you kid has a bad reaction, and you put his life at risk then yes, it's dramatic. It is child abuse.

If you abuse a medicine and the child can no longer take it when he really needs it, then yes, it's dramatic.

You should have a chat with medical professional, who are struggling to find the right medication/ pain relief for someone who really needs it, but the most standard ones are no longer an option because they have been abused by that person (willingly or not) in the past. It is dramatic.

Drugging your kids because you want an easy life as opposed to being a parent is pathetic. Giving the kids the medication they need is reasonable. See the difference?

0nline · 19/12/2016 09:32

I still get phenergan flashbacks.

Back in the 70s the family GP suggested it to my parents to deal with my small person insomnia. (Or not going to bed and actually sleeping when required to. I wasn't diagnosed with ADHD until this year, and at nearly 50 years old I finally understand why I am not so great at sleeping in demand).

I must have been between 5-9 in the years when they used it. It was horrible. My mind would be racing, but in a weird, strange way. But my body wouldn't respond and let me move away from the things my imagination was producing. I'm sure it felt worth it to them, mostly cos they kept using it. But bearing in mind the profound fear it induced in me, I think it was accidentally abusive.

I guess the one upside is I have never taken any recreational drugs. The thought of going back to the state of mind going off and creating weird shit, while my body can't do anything about it cos it's mostly paralysed, sounds like as much fun as being held under water for a joke.

Whatever a parent gain in using phenergan on their children, it is worth bearing in mind that the passive, drowsy child they see may be hallucinating and struggling with scary, trippy images ... while unable to demonstrate their fears and distress physically.

Aeroflotgirl · 19/12/2016 09:33

Nathan we would like to take dd 9 to Disneyworld and Universal studios which she would love, but the plane ride would just be too stressful. We are going to see her paeditrican to see if he can provide something to calm her on the flight so that it is good for all. Believe me, when dd is anxious, the stress places more strain on her body, heart and other organs, thus risking damage. If medication helps reduce that so be it!

SoupDragon · 19/12/2016 09:34

She said - unconditional love and consistent boundaries.

Yeah, that's not the whole story though. A lot also depends on the nature of the child. I would have made that kind of smug response when I had just DS1 (and I was an absolutely fabulous parent when I had just DS1 [rolls eyes]). DS2, despite having the same unconditional love and consistent boundaries, was unpredictable and potentially hellish. Even at 15 he still has moments when he can't squash his need to irritate someone. DD was/is somewhere in between but nearer DS1's temperament.

dingdongthewitchishere · 19/12/2016 09:34

Aeroflotgirl

You are the one choosing to go on long-haul flights with children with SN, nobody is forcing you. (if you are uk based) There are no lack of holidays,( sun or ski) at a short-ish distance not involving a long-haul flight. You are not getting any sympathy from me I am afraid.

Aeroflotgirl · 19/12/2016 09:34

dingdong you are just being stupid now. You haven't got a bloody clue so rein it in.

1horatio · 19/12/2016 09:34

They're high in the sky in a plane miles away from anywhere. Drugging your child in an environment, where emergency medical help cannot be sought is madness.

Ansolutely.

I do think there may be exceptions. When it's an absolutely necessary flight and the child in question (for example) tends to get the most horrible headaches/vomits etc when sleep deprived (that used to happen to one of Brothers. It could probably be treated much better nowadays, but back then...?)
But in cases like this you talk to the gp beforehand etc and don't try to just drug your child!

pictish · 19/12/2016 09:35

"You are the one choosing to go on long-haul flights with children with SN, nobody is forcing you. (if you are uk based) There are no lack of holidays,( sun or ski) at a short-ish distance not involving a long-haul flight. You are not getting any sympathy from me I am afraid."

The sanctimony is strong in this one. Wink

Aeroflotgirl · 19/12/2016 09:36

Good I don't want it. I am going to take a qualified professionals advice, over a lay person who hasn't got a clue, you really don't. Even on short haul her anxiety is through the roof.

Soubriquet · 19/12/2016 09:37

Talk about drama dingdong

A child could react to any medication not just this and you are advised to try it at home first

Aeroflotgirl · 19/12/2016 09:39

The sanctimony is disgusting on here. We are not talking about regular medication, but a one off, especially given by a qualified professional who has done 8 years plus training to become a doctor, over a lay person sprouting off.

00100001 · 19/12/2016 09:39

Child abuse???

Wow I do have a good MN hyperbole! Grin

dingdongthewitchishere · 19/12/2016 09:40

we would like to take dd 9 to Disneyworld and Universal studios

and you can't find something that she would like nearer from you? Grin There's a Disney in France, there are Warner Bros studios in the UK . It might not be the same, but for your kids it's about what you make of the holiday that matters

Maybe consider a holiday your kids will enjoy, including the trip, as opposed to a holiday you can show off to your friends with.

MammaTJ · 19/12/2016 09:40

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Aeroflotgirl · 19/12/2016 09:40

Medication does not have to be knock out, it can be anti anxiety meds, to take the edge off the anxiety, in a very small dose. So the child is awake but very calm.

LuluLovesFruitcakes · 19/12/2016 09:41

On the fence with this one tbh, I think it'd depend on the reasons behind it - for me, "she's on the hyper end of the spectrum" is not a good enough reason. If she had a huge fear of flying and it would help to ease the childs anxieties, fine, fair enough.

Because it's going to be a long flight and you want some peace? Not so okay imho.

Think sedatives should only ever be given if it's absolutely necessary and primarily for the childs benefit...

Aeroflotgirl · 19/12/2016 09:41

dingdong she would like to go to the states, and that is what we will do thank you.