To give my friend a cheaper present?

[Jugglingallthebollocks]

I fully aware I am being unreasonable and ready for a flaming.... my DCs godmother buys my children a lovely present every year, generally spends about £20-25. I reciprocate and buy her a nice present (she has no DCs), I put a lot of though into it and generally spend about £60. This is far more than I spend on anyone else, would never spend this amount on myself but I appreciate her buying for my kids as they don't get much from anyone else. This year she let them open their presents early and it was a selection box each. I've already wrapped her beautiful £60 jo Malone candle (that I'm coveting and would never get given myself).
Background, I was late with her birthday present as we were on holiday, she took the hump (birthdays are very big things for her) and told me to keep the present for my own birthday from her, which I gladly did .
So AIBU to keep the candle for myself and give her a smaller gift?

[Italiangreyhound]

OK - I think you may have decided to keep the candle for yourself but here is my 2p worth...

Old friends are worth more than gifts, even ridiculously overpriced, dangerous candles!

(I hate real candles and much prefer LED, candles are total fire hazard)

But I digress.

I would give her the candle and next year discuss scaling back on gifts.

I would budget in to the year to buy myself a really nice thing every Christmas that you like.

I think she was hurt that you did not give her her birthday gift in time, she is an old friend and you know birthdays are important to her, so really even though she said to keep it for yourself I think you should have sent it to her.

So clear the air, give her something nice this year, even if it is not a massively over priced candle (yes they do look lovely on the website!) and try and even things up next year. Old friends really are worth more than gifts.

[haveacupoftea]

Just because she has no kids doesnt mean shes rolling in cash. Maybe she is having financial problems?

[GravyAndShite]

Have they opened the packaging? She hasn't hidden a really cool experience voucher or something inside each one, has she?

[PhoebeBo]

How can a lump of wax cost £60
Anyway, keep it if you're happy for your dc to carry on receiving selection boxes. Give it to her if you're not.
Weirdest thing about this is her saying keep her late present for yourself which you happily did
Surely when you buy someone a gift its with them in mind not yourself

[Aeroflotgirl]

I know I was like 😵😵😵😵😵 when i saw it.

[Jugglingallthebollocks]

Ohwell- yes pomegranate noir, my absolute favourite! And it's going to be all mine mine mine...

[Serialweightwatcher]

Aeroflotgirl it comes up as £290 - that is ridiculous

[Cherrysoup]

£60 for a candle? I balked at paying £13 for a big Yankee yesterday, mad! Make your own, I ised to, it's not hard! Saves a fortune.

I would sell the candle on eBay or somewhere. To get the children a selection box each is derisory. Get her a box of chocs back. She is being petty and pathetic.

[OhWellNeverMindEh]

Is it pomegranate noir? If yes, then I'll be your friend and godmother to your children, I'm an ace godmother to mine....

misses point of thread entirely

[Beebeeeight]

Ive never spent £60 on a friend at Xmas.

I won't even be spending that much on dp!

[bbcessex]

Not got much to contribute but need to address the candle quality posters.. you do get what you pay for with Candles. . Jo Malone / Diptyque are beautiful - the strength / reach of the fragrance is something to behold 😇😇😇😇😇

KEEP THE CANDLE OP. Or send it to me 😍😍😍😍

[Awwlookatmybabyspider]

Fucking Hell £60 on a candle. People are lucky if they get a pound land gift from yours truly.

[Cary2012]

I like candles, I have lots of them. Vanilla is particularly nice. So it's wax,with a bit of essential oil - whatever floats your boat - and a wick. 'Cos I know that candles are no more or less than that. I would never spend more than a fiver on a candle.

£60 on a candle that cost, at most, a quid to produce? All because it has a 'designer label'?

Bloody daft

[Girliefriendlikesflowers]

Areo thats insane, its just wax, wick and a bit of perfume!! You can buy the same thing for £1 in Dun Elm

People have more money than sense!!

[Hobnobbing]

Does she usually buy you a decent birthday present?

[DiegeticMuch]

You imply that there isn't a big family/friendship circle around you and the DCs so I'd nurture this friendship with the godmother i.e. I'd put her petttiness about her birthday down to a blip - maybe she was feeling low, birthdays can be tough if so. Give her the candle. If there's any more nonsense in future, be tougher.

There's also the possibility that there are main presents or cheques to come stilll.

[Aeroflotgirl]

Here £260 jo Malone candle😵😵😵😵

www.selfridges.com/GB/en/cat/jo-malone-london-pomegranate-noir-luxury-candle-250g_701-10020-PROD01014/?cm_mmc=PLA--Google--Beauty--JOMALONELONDON&ci_src=18615224&ci_sku=82080228&$$&$ja=tsid:35948%7Ccid:198793174%7Cagid:10882060654%7Ctid:pla-84943430734%7Ccrid:40375166494%7Cnw:g%7Crnd:1779042026094601306%7Cdvc:t%7Cadp:1o5&gclid=COfJioKd_NACFUa4GwodHFoFVA

[Aeroflotgirl]

She sounds very immature, getting the hump, it sounds like she is still sulking. This is good so that means you can get her something smaller, and take tge candle back. I think this gas set a precedent. Is she a friend?

[Girliefriendlikesflowers]

I can't get past the fact that a candle exists that costs £60

[NiceFalafels]

I wouldn't play the game. Give her the candle which is essentially a birthday and xmas gift in one. Then around September tell all your relatives that you need to cut back on xmas and birthday spending to £10 per head. And ask if there's anything they specifically want? Use the spare cash to buy yourself something nice

[Atenco]

I'm bloody sick of hearing about Jo Malone candles, what with builders and cleaners stealing them all the time they are definitely not worth the money.

[Castleheights]

Give her the candle, if she was annoyed that you forgot her birthday, then the ball is in her court now. The candle would always remind me of the friend I bought it for so I couldn't enjoy it anyway.

[ALittleMop]

Does she buy birthday gifts for your children?

[ALittleMop]

You say she has no DC but does she have other people in her life?

To me it sounds like this is all about her birthday present, and she was unfathomably hurt by it OR she is skint and wants it to stop.

FWIW I would give her the ridiculously extravagant present but resolve to have proper conversation about it - to avoid second guessing her motives - with her well out of range of anyone's birthdays.

[ssd]

keep the candle for yourself, it sounds like you'll absolutely love it

buy your friend a bottle of something for about £15 and remember this for the future