What to expect from a cleaner

[broodymamma]

Is it too much to expect my cleaner to actually tidy my house. I have 5 kids the eldest being 8. They are very efficient at turning my house upside down. But up till now I have had a cleaner every day for at least 4 hours. If she finds a kids skipping rope say on the kitchen floor she will pick it up and put it on a chair and tuck chair in rather than find the appropriate place to put it. Worst still if she goes to the playroom to tidy and finds feltips with the lids off she will not replace the lids. She will gather the whole lot and toss them into the nearest toybox. She will often be met with a mixture of games of various sorts that have been played with but unfortunately not been put away. She will make no effort to tidy each game into the appropriate box but toss the whole lot in to whichever toy box is nearest. I guess that if this doesn't suit me I should look for a replacement cleaner. but just wondering if I am expecting too much and a replacement wouldn't be any better. I know my kids need to learn to tidy up after themselves and I am working on this.

[LittleMissMarker]

Well, I try to make sure the house is tidy before the cleaner comes - in fact that's one of the ways I get DS to tidy up "if you leave toys lying about then the cleaner will put them somewhere and you may not find them again".

Your cleaner is there for a lot of hours so I would expect her to do some tidying but I would not expect a cleaner or even a housekeeper or personal assistant etc etc to put the lids on pens or match up game pieces into boxes. If the kids don't put lids back on pens they dry up, natural consequences. I would give her a single big tub to throw in everything that's lying about in the playroom and then tell the children it's their job to sort it out. With help from you for the littlest ones.

[PollyPerky]

OP Are you in the UK? Because this post doesn't make sense..

I'm most uneducated, walked out of school aged 5 and didn't even graduate primary school. DH left school at 13.

In the UK we don't 'graduate' from primary school (only university) though some schools do make a bit of a meal of Year 6 leaving do's in some regions.

You aren't allowed to leave school at 13- it's 16.
So does this mean you and your DH were travellers or home educated?

And by the way I have every respect for anyone who runs their own business using 'life skills', it's just that overall you seem a bit out of touch with certain things, such as calling your mother's help a 'cleaner' , when she's clearly doing far more than that- she's really a housekeeper if she's coming for 4 hrs a day.

[CrazyforCrochet]

One of my many jobs is doing cleaning part-time. I generally do 2 hours per week per client, so don't have time to tidy but just do cleaning. I had a 4 hour client once and their house was always a tip so I used to do a bit of tidying as I went along. If I was doing 4 hours every day for a client I would say that I would have time to tidy. The clue here is that you say she is a cleaner, but not a housekeeper? If I was just a cleaner I wouldn't expect be putting away all the fiddly bits of kids games. Did you not talk about what was expected when you first employed her? You needed to discuss what was required and then she would have had chance to decide if that was the job she wanted. Perhaps have that talk now.... I feel that the job description is more of a housekeeper than a cleaner.

[broodymamma]

Yes PollyPerky,
I was born and bred in the UK. My parents did always threaten me that the truancy officers would be round to arrest them if I didn't attend school but thinking back I can't remember any one official paying us a visit. I guess I must have just slipped through the system. Because I hated school and therefore missed out on being formerly educated, it makes me appreciate so much more when my 4 girls come out of school smiling and want to return the next day. I think overall the education system and attitude of staff have improved a lot since my day.

[PollyPerky]

I'm struggling to believe you OP. After decades in the education system as a teacher and then lecturer, working also with kids at risk and home educated children, I'm finding your background a bit errr....
Yes okay some kids slip through the net but not for 12 years, totally off the radar.
How come you are literate if you stopped attending school at five?
Doesn't add up to me. Sorry.

[RasperryInAMelon]

OP if you're running a business an have hired someone, you should be providing them with a job description, that's the basics of being an employer.

You cannot expect someone to do things if you haven't given them clarity of your expectations!

[SukeyTakeItOffAgain]

I run my own business OP. I know it's hard to find time to do anything else, and you have five children too! But I have zero comprehension of how you manage this after leaving school five.

Amazing.

[AliceInUnderpants]

So you both had ineffective parents who didn't 'make' you go to school - instead they just tried to talk you into it?
And now you are the type of parents who aren't teaching your children to tidy up after themselves?

Do you see this pattern changing at all?

[broodymamma]

It is sad to learn that today's society is so distrusting. What would I have to gain by being dishonest anyway? Maybe I ought to be taking it as a compliment. I think my parents were saints though for putting up with me at home. I am so releived when my girls return to school after a bout of sickness or school holiday. My lack of attendance at school doesnt mean that I came from an uneducated family, I think the right description would be dysfunctional. As other mumsnetters have so eloquently pointed out my spelling is rubbish. During the years that I was out of the educational system rather than die of boredom, I did become an avid reader. Although saying that my handwriting has suffered and it is painfully slow. To me my girls having a chance to excel in school is my priority and perhaps part of my healing process. Through their homework I am having a chance to catch up a little on what I missed out on. Maybe it's my lack of attendance that has caused me to be less aware of tidy up time which I understand is encouraged in school. I am now going to make every effort to be less neglectful in this area.

[CaesiumTime]

Good luck with it all, broodymama

[PollyPerky]

It is sad to learn that today's society is so distrusting. What would I have to gain by being dishonest anyway?

It is. I agree. It is also sad that on forums like this one, there are people who - as we all know as regular posters/ readers - like to concoct a totally fictitious life and post about it. Who knows why they do it or get off on it.

Not for a minute saying that's you, but it does happen.

Why do you refer to your parents as 'putting up with you' by allowing you not to attend school? They were hugely irresponsible unless they provided education at home and even then they'd still have to prove they were providing that. Don't you feel for a moment that they did you a huge disservice? It's just a bit odd that in almost 12 years when you ought to have been at school , the LEA, social services , GP etc didn't twig you were not at school - or perhaps you were home educated- and do something about it. Also a huge coincidence that you are married to someone who had the same upbringing.

But, it takes all sorts.

[broodymamma]

Yes their are times when I do feel resentful at having been neglected both by my parents and the education system but I wouldnt have achieved anything in life if I would sit brooding about it all day. I am just appreciative that I have been able to give my children a better start than I had. And yes I feel blessed to have found a partner in life who is a kindred spirit and is able to be more understanding of my past without being Judgemental. I have always yearned to be a midwife so it's when I look into course requirements in order to apply that my resentment for my lack of education and resulting exam results tend to resurface. I was taken to school in the early years daily but I would scream cry and even threaten to jump out of an open window to avoid staying on the school premises, I never went back after walking out of school at age 5 with another pupil. The police were called in to find us. We did get a good old telling off, and after that I didn't return. I think frankly the school were happy to see the back of me considering the daily disruption I caused. It's funny now that I am grown up I can't pinpoint why I felt so strongly about this. My parents were not young and maybe didn't have the strength to face this behaviour daily. My father was in poor health and in and out of hospital regularly. He did succumb to his illness when I was just 11 which left mum to take care of us on her own. Like you I am surprised that the education authority at the time did not get involved but like I say things have changed for the better now. Dh was an overbright kid who suffered from dyslexia and I think would also have faired better in school nowadays where he would have been better catered for and appreciated rather than being labelled as a naughty boy. whether you do or don't believe me I thank you for your time as I have found this look into my past to be quite therapeutic.:-)

[SnotGoblin]

Can we work on the socks and sandals now?

[PollyPerky]

Your parents would have been contacted by both the school and social services many, many times if you simply ran away from school and never returned. Assuming you are now in your 30s or thereabouts, this would not have been ignored. It's 30+ years since I began teaching so I've got a pretty long history in the ed world! Just incredible that you managed to be a non attender for your entire childhood.

Anyway- hope you get to grips with your cleaner. Sounds as if you, your kids and your DH need to sit down and try to organise things. How you cope with running a business with 5 kids and one due any minute is mind boggling.

[harshbuttrue1980]

I used to clean when I was at uni. I didn't mind cleaning for busy, grateful clients who treated me with respect - I knew I was doing them a necessary service, and in return I got through uni with minimal student loans.
I wouldn't have worked as a children's servant though, which is what the OP seems to want. I lived in Dubai for a while, and its common for children to have servants to do absolutely everything for them, and it always seemed wrong. There's no way I would ever have taken a job that involved running round after spoilt children putting the lids on their felt tips - a cleaner isn't a skivvy. In the same way, I stopped cleaning for one client who thought she was lady muck and dropped her whole dinner on the floor one evening and left it there for me to clean the next morning. Cleaners are human beings trying to earn a living. Treat them like they are shit and they have many ways to get back at you :-)

[LittleMissMarker]

I have just clarified with DH that the Job description is in fact general and personal assistant to myself.

Your DH has a sense of humour.

[aquashiv]

My rule is pick everything of the floor and tidy so the cleaner can clean. We have onky two hours a week though not four hours a day.