DS has lost his gym kit AGAIN

[MythicalChicken]

AIBU to be absolutely fucking furious? Money is so tight for us at the moment, I just cannot afford to replace it. DH and I work extremely long hours in jobs we hate, I have a horrible 3 hour-a-day commute to said job. In spite of working all the hours god sends we are just getting deeper and deeper into debt. We aren't even getting anywhere. We will never own our own home. We hardly ever see the kids as we are always at work. Life is miserable and we are constantly broke...

This is the third time this term that DS has lost his entire gym kit. He has checked lost property, it isn't there. It isn't at home.

DH has said he won't replace it again and DS will have to not do PE for the rest of the year. I am tempted to agree. Is this unreasonable? DS loves PE. He is 11 and a half.

[catsnickedallmypens]

My DC helped herself to stuff from lost property and tried to fob it off as her own that she'd lost. Luckily I checked the labels and made her take them back pronto!

[Toadinthehole]

whyohwhy

Please don't suggest people nick stuff from lost property. My DCs are chronically poor at bringing home their stuff. Shoes, sandals, socks, you name it. We have had to spend $$$$$$ replacing lost items, all of which were labelled, probably because it got taken from lost property. It's not our fault: we do all we can to make them bring stuff home.

Taking other people's stuff from lost property is not just unhelpful. It's a also a bad example to children as it suggests they can help themselves to other people's belongings if they lose their own. It is also in fact theft, even if the item is taken temporarily.

Please don't do it.

[LuluJakey1]

In the secondary school where I worked we had hundreds of pounds worth of lost property from phones to bags, PE kit, coats, jewellery, purses, glasses etc. They were often unclaimed with no name on them. Every term we had a week where children and parents could come and identify stuff at the end of term.They rarely did. Anything we could wash and keep as spare uniform, PE kit we did, the rest went to a charity shop. It was a deprived area but the kids were really careless with stuff. They would tell their parents they had been to look in lost property when they hadn't bothered.

[whyohwhy000]

Please ignore my post; I didn't read the whole thread.

[whyohwhy000]

Maybe nick some from lost property?

[Twinchaos1]

My 8 yr DS has managed to lose his winter coat, in a pretty small primary school. He was really unbothered until we explained he was paying for it out of his pocket money, he contributed several months pocket money and has been much more careful since. I want him to understand the value of the things he is bought.

[Candlelight123]

Glad for you it turned up!

BUT he needs to get the message now whilst it's only primary school PE kit, high school have all kinds of expensive badged pieces of kit. If he does this at high school, it will cost you a fortune.

[BarbarianMum]

[VivienneWestwoodsKnickers]

Good grief! Kids, who'd have them

Glad it turned up!!

[MythicalChicken]

He found it!!!

It was in the Lost Property. He said he didn't recognize it before because it was in his new bag and he had forgotten he had a new bag . I have told him if he loses anything again between now and Christmas, Santa will be replacing it instead of giving him presents.

Thanks for all your support, it was all really stressful.

[MythicalChicken]

He really enjoys PE so he's not doing it on purpose. I have to constantly remind him to put his wallet away in his bag (it has his lunch money in it). Also, he doesn't do his school bag up, which drives me to distraction.

[crispandcheesesanwichplease]

Your SON! Sorry, fecking iPad!

[crispandcheesesanwichplease]

Third time to lose entire gym kit is shocking. My dc has form for losing and breaking things. Including repeatedly losing gym kit. He is old enough to keep tabs on his stuff, the odd item going missing occasionally is fine but that's not the case for your daughter.

I'm afraid I wouldn't be replacing it. At my dc's school they get a code for not having gym kit on PE days. 2 codes in a week and they get detention. If that happens to your son then so be it. It might make him more responsible in the future. However never under estimate how a proper (rather than imaginary) check in lost property unearths lost items when consequences other than mum being cross are looming!

[BabyGanoush]

My DS lost his pe kit 3 times in y7.

The first time I marched into school with him to look for it (embarrassing but effective, and yes we found it, under a table in a classroom he's normally never in)

Second time... it was really go e, I bought a new kit.

Third time, I said: "you sort it. I don't care if you get detention". He wore smelly kits from lost and found, then bought cheap plimsols with his pocket money and borrowed tiny PE shorts of his brother

After that he was a lot better at not losing kit.

So see if you can let him figure out a solution (or go into school and check everywhere)

[JsOtherHalf]

Any of this ring any bells?

www.understood.org/en/learning-attention-issues/child-learning-disabilities/executive-functioning-issues/understanding-executive-functioning-issues

[SidneyPiecrust]

If his christian name begins with l and has a double barred surname, caretakers have it 😀

[Caboodle]

I would want to know why he is losing so much stuff....could be pure forgetfulness, could be bully, could lack key organisational skills. Also-every school I've known has a stash of old kit...v odd yiurs doesn't (there should be 3 of your child's for a start). Please don't send him in without kit.. too embarassing for him. Punish in another way.

[nanny3]

my daughters stuff was always getting LOST even though it was labelled coats school jumpers pe kit some parents dont hand back when their children bring the wrong things home it cost me a fortune

[ForalltheSaints]

A thought- is it being lost to try to avoid doing PE?

[Sittingintheautumnsunshine]

You have my sympathy. DS has lost his entire secondary kit (including f/boots, shinpads and trainers) this term. Or rather, I think it's been stolen this time.

Primary, I'd send hi with a cheap pair of shorts and an old T-shirt.

[IJustWantABrew]

I can't imagine school allowing your child to not do pe for the best part of a year because he hasn't got a pe kit. Can't you buy a cheap pair of shorts/tshirt from a supermarket or does your son have to wear a kit with a school logo on?
Might be worth seeing if any of the parents with kids who have left school still have their kits you can have on the cheap?

[ImprovisingNow]

I agree, I wouldn't replace it either, whether I could afford it or not. 3 times is ridiculous and I'd expect at least one lot of it to turn up eventually.

Have you asked to look through the school's lost property yourself?

Do you think that people are pinching it? We have not lost an item of sports kit since I started stitching the name labels on the outside of the kit in two places on each item. I have also sharpied his name and my phone no. across his trainers and in several places on his sports bag. My DS doesn't care and it makes the kit really unattractive to other people.

[Stillunexpected]

I don't think you should feel bad about being broke and not being able to replace the PE kit. No matter how much money you had, three sets of PE kit in less than a term is ridiculously careless. He is old enough to learn to take some care of his belongings and to suffer the consequences if he does't. Please don't beat yourself up about not replacing it.

[Soubriquet]

Send him with a cheap pair of shorts and t-shirt in a carrier bag

If he can't be bothered to look after his belongings, you can't be bothered to make the effort either.

Though I know it's harder to do when you haven't got the money but maybe the embarrassment will kick him up the arse

[bostonkremekrazy]

If he is in primary then school uniform ...and gym kits cannot be compulsary. So send shorts and t-shirt in on the day with a note to teacher saying he's lost 3 kits we are not replacing as we are sure they will turn up....these blue/black/whatever shorts and tshirt will be fine in the interim ☺