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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to say no kids at our new years eve party/partners birthday

54 replies

harrypotternerd · 15/11/2016 06:59

My partners birthday is on new years eve. My kids go to their dads house at 3pm on new years so from 3pm onwards we are child free. We decided to have a new years eve party/birthday party in the evening. Most of our friends do not have children however we have a couple that are coming who are always babysitting their nephew so his mother can go out and party. Most of our events are child friendly due to my children attending, however this year my partner and I are wanting a child free event as it is the first time since being together we will be child free for his birthday/new years. We mentioned this to our friends who were ok with it but now our friends sister is complaining to them, saying they cannot babysit so she cannot go out with her friends. She also sent a message to both my partner and me telling us to allow her child there because she wants to go out. What we are planning has alcohol involved and I do not feel comfortable with a young child (he is 18 months) being around that. My partner got quite annoyed at this child's mother because it may mean that they cannot come. What would you do? would you allow this child to come so that our friends can come (they are very close friends) or be firm in what we said about no kids?

OP posts:
Catsize · 15/11/2016 07:58

The mother of the child needs to grow up.

7SunshineSeven7 · 15/11/2016 07:59

Roussette Our NYE parties were not a place for kids either. Its a time to get utterly smashed and goes on so late it really isn't appropriate I don't think; something tells me that's the type of party it is Grin

OP she really is shameless as others have said. Reply saying ''Sorry, no kids'' and then tell your friends what she has done and how you are standing firm on the no kids. Offer some numbers for babysitters in the area - she has 7 weeks.

Roussette · 15/11/2016 08:03

Sounds fun 7 ! aaahhh those were the days, we stayed in last NYE!

OP, I just wouldn't engage, feel guilty or have a conversation about it. Just say "no, we aren't having children at this party". End of.

Magicpaintbrush · 15/11/2016 08:04

The mother of the child has got a damn cheek expecting everyone else to change their new years eve plans to take on her kid. How entitled can you get! Your friends need to stop being doormats and tell her No! They are just as entitled to enjoy NYE as she is! Bloody cheek.

Giratina · 15/11/2016 08:12

Stick to your guns OP. If it was an older child who would amuse themselves with a DVD or whatever I would consider it but a small toddler who needs constant watching, hell no.

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 15/11/2016 08:25

Absolutely not, the very cheek of it !
Enjoy your child free party OP, everyone else will. 🍾🍾👯🍷😄

tellyjots · 15/11/2016 08:35

YANBU if someone wants to go out then they should be willing to pay for childcare. End of. Enjoy your party.

Elphame · 15/11/2016 11:37

Stick to your guns. I'm a NYE baby myself so if I want a party they have been planned well in advance; no good for inpromptu celebrations.

She still has plenty of time to book a babysitter.

FeralBeryl · 15/11/2016 12:14

The cheeky bastard Shock
Definitely stay out of it, not your circus etc. This is up to your friends to sort out. They will probably appreciate you being inflexible as it may mean they are spurred into getting some backbones and refusing.

BlackeyedSusan · 15/11/2016 15:13

Oh my goodness... now that is real cheek.

I can not go out without my children as I do not have child care....you just politely decline...

and you are so not unreasonable to have a no kids party. (even if your arrangements for your children fell through, it is still perfectly reasonable to have no other children there. yours can be put to bed as appropriate and one of you would just have slightly less to drink...) but to expect someone elses child to be there because their own parents can't be arsed to look after them.. not a chance.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 15/11/2016 15:17

"She also sent a message to both my partner and me telling us to allow her child there because she want"

She told you to allow the child to come? Cheeky mare! She has no right to tell you to do anything, and you should simply ignore her and have the party you want!

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 15/11/2016 15:18

Sorry - I cut that quote off at the wrong place - it should be:

"She also sent a message to both my partner and me telling us to allow her child there because she wants to go out"

GrinchyMcGrincherson · 15/11/2016 15:21

TBH it sounds like it's about time your friends had a NYE party themselves. Why shouldn't they have a night out for once? Stick to your guns. They need to say no and be firm.

YelloDraw · 15/11/2016 15:33

Keep it as child free. Plenty of time for them to 1) find a babysitter or 2) turn down the invite because they made existing plans (to babysit!)

GiddyOnZackHunt · 15/11/2016 15:38

Lordy, that's worthy of the brass neck thread (in classics?)

Eevee77 · 15/11/2016 16:00

I would not engage with the mother of the child in RE to this party and the babysitting situation. Repeat to your friends it's a child free event. It is up to them to either chose to baby sit or attend the party. This is their battle, not yours and FWIW they sound like they need to grow a back bone. I'd be mortified if I was them, at the fact the sister has tried to drag you into it all.

Hestheoneandonly · 15/11/2016 18:02

I was about to say you were bu as non one can get a baby sitter nye. But apparently if you have willing brother and sister in law it's not! These people have a choice over whether they have a child to look after. Go child free and enjoy the booze

altiara · 15/11/2016 18:33

YANBU!

Groovee · 15/11/2016 18:53

I'd tell the mother to sod off. It's your party, your rules x

EveOnline2016 · 15/11/2016 18:58

It sounds a good party can I come.

Keep it child free.

MissVictoria · 15/11/2016 19:02

She chose to have a baby, she needs to take responsibility for that decision. By having a child you commit yourself to putting someone else and their needs first. There will be plenty of new years to come for her to go out and party, she can afford to miss this one if she can't find an alternate babysitter.

Looneytune253 · 15/11/2016 19:10

Wow tell the babys mother to persuade whoever's party she's going to to allow the little one and take some responsibility, that's shocking!!! I'm guessing she's going out out. We had to change the way we do new year's when we had children

CoraPirbright · 15/11/2016 19:41

Shock Well, I've read it all now - she actually told you to change your plans so she could go out??

I would reply to her "Sorry but we are having a normal NYE party with adults and alcohol. You will have to organise childcare just like everyone else you cheeky bitch "

Original poster
harrypotternerd · 15/11/2016 19:48

We ended up telling our friends and they were mortified she had contacted us and kept apologising. They told us they are happy to have an excuse to not have to babysit. Thanks for the replies everyone!

OP posts:
NoSunNoMoon · 16/11/2016 07:40

Good result!

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