A pseudo ex blocked me on Facebook

[MintyMint]

I don't know why.

I hardly talk to him. Whenever we do, it's him who always initiates.

[eddielizzard]

if he's initiated the convo's and he's the one spilling the beans sounds like he's still got a thing for you. perhaps his oh doesn't like him talking to you. perhaps he wants a clean break to move on.

[BillSykesDog]

But she did say he regularly gets drunk and tells her deep dark secrets. Regularly getting to the drunken facebooking level of drunkenness says drink problem to me.

[MintyMint]

No, I did not mean he regularly gets drunk. I'm saying what he told me were things he wouldn't have told anyone unless he's drunk.

He does not have a drinking problem. He's a professional with a respectable career. However, like each and everyone, he does have his dark secrets which he shared with me.

We dated for just three months yes. But when it ended (I was just visiting his country when we met, I went home), we continued talking and have confided in each other - him more than me. He has a very "macho" type of personality - someone who does not show weakness, etc. Yet he did with me.

[MintyMint]

But yes, you mumsnetters are right. Whatever the reason, it's for the best.

[Damselindestress]

I can understand why it would be annoying that a friend who confided in you would suddenly block you. The ex thing isn't really the issue. Blocking is more than unfriending and could make someone wonder if they've upset the other person. I don't think you've done anything wrong. The most likely explanations are either he felt embarrassed about the things he's shared so retreated from the friendship or he has a new girlfriend who is uncomfortable with him talking to an ex.

[Mintychoc1]

Do you post a lot on Facebook, share pages, words of wisdom etc? I've had to delete people who do that because it clogs up my newsfeed and irritates me

[MintyMint]

Mintychoc1

No, I hardly post.

[OhhBetty]

Sometimes people like to tell their "secrets" to someone who is removed from their lives. I've had a few people I wouldn’t consider myself particularly close to tell me things they wouldn't tell their closest friends. Perhaps because they might be too close, they may not want them to look at them differently or have to face someone who knows that particular thing about them every day. That may be the case here.

I dated someone from South America for two years and consider him one of the great loves of my life. However, I wouldn't be hurt if he were to delete me from facebook as there are many reasons why he would which pps have explained such as moving on, a partner etc.

Whilst it's understandable to be feeling hurt/upset, I wouldn't dwell on it if I were you. Just remember the time you spent together fondly and be glad you met. Sometimes things just come to an end.

[shovetheholly]

Maybe he's a drama queen and wants to keep you guessing like this?

Or

Maybe he's decided to move on with his life and leave a lot of past relationships behind?

Or

Maybe he regrets telling you some things and wants to compartmentalise?

It doesn't really matter, because in all three cases gracious acceptance of his decision and moving on is the right response from you too.

[AnchorDownDeepBreath]

The simplest explanation is usually true, and in this case, it's that he has decided he needs to move on from you/this.

Perhaps he's realised that he still holds those three months in high regard, or that he still has feelings for you, and that's not appropriate in a relationship. Perhaps his girlfriend is uncomfortable with the relationship between you, or has seen your conversations and thinks he has crossed a line in being so open with you. It could even just be that he's noticed that he uses you as a therapist, half the world away, and that's not very good for him.

I expect that when he had his accident and asked you to attend, he thought you were a true friend, and when you didn't go, that started the timer on the end of this. It's not really a real friendship. He confides in you because you're far away and he finds you easy to talk too, but you haven't seen each other in eight years, there's no regular chatting or anything else that indicates a proper friendship.

Whether he thinks blocking you is a way to get over you or he just doesn't want you to be an anchor to his past, you might never know. Maybe he'll unblock you at some point. I'd leave it be now regardless.

[MintyMint]

Yeah, true. Very true. Anyway I do not intend to come running after him asking why or whatever, I was just curious :)

And maybe it's better for me, too.

[SaucyJack]

Do you think you're feeling a bit used?

Like you've served your purpose as his confessional priest, and just been dumped?

I would.

[DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen]

I don't understand the question. Do you want to know?

No,it seems you want people to ask though as you keep mentioning secrets.

[MintyMint]

No, it seems you want people to ask though as you keep mentioning secrets.

Hmn, strange, how would that benefit anyone?

I was explaining how I have been his confidante.

[MintyMint]

Do you think you're feeling a bit used?

More curious, but now that you mentioned it, well, I thought we were friends. He does not have a lot of friends so this was kind of a weird thing to do.

Anyway, yeah, it's for everyone's best. Someone upthread mentioned (not verbatim, but the gist) I should be focusing on people who I physically interact with and she's right.