It's the pretty standard story... Mum and dad had me when they were v young. Dad left mum soon after I was born, flitted in and out of my life until I was 16- at which point I told him to do one - because I couldn't rely on him EVER - even to keep arrangements to meet we'd made a few days before. He was also quite abusive to mum when they were together, and had on occasion said some pretty shitty things to me. He is also a uniquely selfish man, and very egotistical. That my dads family (who I'm in close contact with) call him Peter Pan is a real clue to his character!
I've come to my hometown to stay with mum and stepdad this week, with my 5 wk DS - and my dads family have all been to meet the baby. It's been lovely.
My dad has sent a card with congrats and requesting to meet a few weeks back- and has reiterated to my grandmother he'd like to see me before I go back to London on Sunday.
Although he's a shit, I sort of want to see him- despite the MANY years of no contact- think it must be the oxytocin still floating round my system... But worried that it will upset mum (who's been a star helping me get to grips with being firsytt time mum with DS) as she's quite sensitive and has less than fond memories of life with my dad.
He's been NO dad to me, ever really, and I don't want him to suddenly be a big part of my life - but think it would be a healing and joyful thing to do for both of us - to meet him for a coffee tomorrow with the new baby. I'm his only child, and this is likely (for various reasons) going to be his only grandchild...
On the other hand, I'm still adjusting to life with the baby, and vulnerable- no PND (in spite of fam history and antenatal depression) - but worry this - if it goes badly- could be a trigger...
Mum and DH say just do what I feel is best for me and DS... But not sure what I feel?!!!
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To not know whether to agree to see estranged father with my new baby?
6 replies
Boatmum1 · 28/10/2016 21:18
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