Should DH 'correct' our children's accents?

[OohMavis]

Or, rather, encourage them to speak 'properly'

Because I'm not convinced he should. He obviously thinks otherwise.

DH was raised in London, me in Kent. I have a typical Kentish accent, a tiny bit on the posher side, I pronounce my Ts in most cases for example, etc. His is similar.

We live in a small town in Kent where the accent is parodied locally for being 'rough'. It's just a bit cockney really, there's nothing wrong with it imo. Since moving here though 6yo DS has started mimicking it a bit, particularly since starting school. Small things like saying 'wha'ever' instead of 'whatever'. Lots of glottal stops and elongating of words. Hard to explain without saying it out loud.

Anyway, every time he does this, DH corrects him. Not in a shouty or cross way, but he'll repeat the word back to him and DS will usually restart his sentence using 'proper' pronunciation of his own volition. He doesn't seem to mind being corrected at the moment but I can see it really annoying him before long. It would irritate me to be constantly corrected on the way I speak.

DH thinks that speaking 'properly', as he calls it, will give him an advantage when he grows up with looking for jobs, and genuinely believes that people with our accent sound more intelligent than those with a cockney one. It's strange because he's not a snob at all, he grew up poor in South London and has no idea of himself as somehow better than anyone else. His grandmother (who raised him) just made him speak properly he says, and he is glad she did.

I think it's completely natural and fine to adopt the accent of the place you live. I don't see anything wrong with DS sounding like his friends. I also think it makes DH seem like a nitpicking bore and DS will not appreciate it at all - it's not like the local accent will change, he'll have to adapt his speech all the time he spends time around his friends.

Who is BU?

[StarlingMurmuration]

I'm on the fence. I don't think there's anything wrong with an accent, or with local dialect, but you do get judged. I'm very northern but I live in the South East - I do speak "properly", i.e., I pronounce the Ts and Gs etc, but my accent is strong, and I know people assume I'm less intelligent because of that. Some people are surprised when they find out I have a doctorate - apparently northerners don't go to university!

So I don't think your DH is unreasonable to try to get them to speak correctly, as long as he's not shouting at them about it, or making them feel stupid. It will only work to their favour if they can switch from the local accent to a more received pronunciation, and back again, when they grow up.

[Longtalljosie]

I think children can be - and often are - "bilingual" when it comes to ways of speaking. Teaching them to have the ability to speak correctly in certain environments will pay dividends at university interviews, job interviews etc. It's no use expecting the world to revolve around you.

My friend's DD (now at medical school) when she was playing shops as a preschooler used to do a broad Yorkshire accent when she was being a customer and a hoity toity Mrs Slocombe southern accent when she was being the shop owner .

[Purplebluebird]

To me, it's important to properly pronounce Ts. and TH rather than F... I think it will make a different and better impression on future employers and other people who matter. Saying that, I'm not actually English, but I still pronounce words "properly".

[FailingandDrowning]

I agree with your DH. You do need to know how to speak properly when you need to. They'll just grow up switching the appropriate accent on and off according to their circumstances which is what most people do without thinking about it.

I'm a very clear RP at work, but can sometimes hear my estuary English coming out when I'm at home :)

[MaddyHatter]

i don't think its a bad thing to teach proper pronunciation.. so that someone is at least capable of speaking properly when the occasion requires.

I can speak very properly, but my natural accent is very broad midlands/brummy/black country.

[Minisoksmakehardwork]

By F I mean fink and fank you instead of think and thank you.

[Minisoksmakehardwork]

Sorry purple, completely misread! Damn our language lol.

[LooseAtTheSeams]

No, the glottal stop is accent - so is whether you pronounce the d in broadcast!
Short and long vowels are interesting. Obviously, both are correct. After all, technically an RP accent is just an accent (again, grammar is what makes the difference between correct and incorrect). DH is an East Midlander and says bath, grass etc in that accent although he is fairly neutral otherwise. dS2 used to do exactly the same despite never living in the Midlands - until he was about 6, when he changed overnight! And it's not barf for most southerners, it's more like Bahth. My East Midlands relatives try to copy it and always get it wrong - but then if I'd tried to sound like them it wouldn't sound genuine, either. And I love their accents more than mine!

[WhooooAmI24601]

I teach DC's how to pronounce words correctly and expect it of them when they're at home. If they want to speak differently with friends/elsewhere that's fine, but I'd definitely correct dropping t's in words; I want them to have a certain level of eloquence.

DH and I are both Midlands but with no Brummie twang. SIL (raised in same house with same parents as DH) has a huge Brummie accent, as do her DCs. When we went to the mad hatters tea party at the Sanderson in London and I watched the waiter address SIL and her DCs, then the way he spoke to me. No question, there was a pointed difference. I notice it often that her DCs are sort of judged in public places because they're very loud and heavily accented. It's ridiculous.

[pictish]

Well goodness me...I have a broad, regional Scottish accent but I am able to speak eloquently in a job interview and whenever else a colloquial approach to language is inappropriate. Fancy that!

Those of you getting your knickers in a knot over accents and constantly correcting your children - do you not attribute your children with the intelligence to be able to discern that for themselves?

[FRETGNIKCUF]

Accents are fine, mispronouncing and dropping letters is not.

[dodobookends]

Older children are more than capable of speaking with two different accents: one for school/friends so they fit in with their peers, and one for home and when in 'polite company'. A slight adjustment of accent/pronunciation shouldn't be a problem at all.

After all, lots of children are able to speak one language at home and another at school.

[JackShit]

"To give your child any chance in the world of work beyond the shop floor you must make sure they learn how to control their accent"

Oh. My. God.

Snob snob snob. It is perfectly OK to work in a shop you know. Still dumbstruck by this thread. Elitist bullshit.

[FRETGNIKCUF]

(are not is.... )

[FRETGNIKCUF]

those talking about kids with two accents usually the foundation for that is knowing how to speak properly.

[SatsukiKusakabe]

I think correcting children is fine, but depends on how you do it. The best way they learn is by the adult setting an example rather than picking them up constantly.

It is nothing to do with intelligence, else why bother teaching them anything, if they are just supposed to know

[PoppyBirdOnAWire]

I trust those people who correct their children for using the glottal stop also do so if their children say "drawering" when the word "drawing" is meant. The addition of letters which do not exist in a word is equally wrong.

[flowery]

"Well there are accents and then there is misuse of the language...However the glottal stop is just incorrect."

No. Using "of" instead of "have" (could of, would of etc) is "incorrect". A glottal stop is part of various accents.

[ThumbWitchesAbroad]

I am guilty of correcting my DSs' pronunciation as well. I like to hear Ts in a word where they exist! DS1 is very good mostly and has a nice accent - somewhere between English and Aussie, but with most Ts in place. DS2 is too small to work it out yet, but I'm currently trying to avoid the "noice" sound, which does grate a bit (should be nice, in case I'm not being obvious)

[FRETGNIKCUF]

Why would anyone want their children to speak with a glottal stop?

[TheHighPriestessOfTinsel]

I have a mild Chatham accent - plenty of glottal stops, no "raaaahnd" though

I think MN's one of very few places left where people think an accent like mine will hold a person back, given that the second in line to the throne has an accent much closer to mine than that of the present monarch.

[Tumtitum]

I know I'm probably going to get flamed but... I do this to my DH he is Irish and does this thing where he misses a "to" out of a sentence. I've canvassed opinion among his Irish family and apparently it is just an Irish thing but I can't stand it!! We now have a DD and I don't want her growing up missing words out of sentences... Fine if we lived in Ireland but we are in the UK so it just sounds like he's not speaking in full sentences!!
Also, my mum always corrected me when I dropped letters etc. I would say I speak quite well now which is an advantage at work. However, I spoke completely differently around my peers than I did my parents and other adults so I would expect your son will do the same so wouldn't worry about teasing or anything!!

[Kitsandkids]

I don't think of dropping letters as accent and I do pick up on it.

My foster children have a strong regional accent which is absolutely fair enough, and I love the accent and wish I had it but wasn't brought up round here so never will. But they also constantly drop the t, or indeed any letter, in the middle of words. So we get 'wa-er' 'coul-n't' 'compu-er' instead of water, couldn't, computer. I do pick up on it because I think that as they're getting older they will be judged for it. Obviously I didn't in the early days but they've been with me 2 years and call me Mum so now I'm just emulating my own mother who never let us drop/change letters!

The most infuriating thing to me at the minute is that they seem to have started saying 'me too' as one word, and so miss the t off the beginning of 'too!' That drives me loopy!

[Darmody]

I can't stand it when my DCs speak in 'proper' English when they could be using their regional accents instead - I think TV is deadly for regional accents.

[whatiswiththeunderboobtrend]

I'm from a place with a strong regional accent. I was brought up to speak "proper" and it makes me sad now that I don't speak the way I did as a child and don't have that connection to home since I moved away.

Regional accents are something to be celebrated.