to not get smashing things with Cancer written on them?

[Bogeyface]

Just seen it on The Last Leg.

Dont get me wrong, I think fundraising for research into treatments for cancer is a great thing, happy to raise money for that, especially given how many people in my family have been taken by it.

But I dont understand the point of smashing something up. Do the smashers up donate when they do it? If they do then greatm but from what I can see they just do a "making a point" smashing of a melon or whatever and then nominate someone else.

I dont see the point.

I realise I will probably be flamed but we have a family member who fought and fought so hard to live, but cancer killed her, and she hated shit like this. She felt that by implying cancer was a thing you could shout at, beat up and win against, it also implied that anyone who lost that battle was somehow weak. Probably that is colouring my view on this.

[HelenaDove]

YY user147. I could not cope with taking steroids if i got ill.


A friends BIL has had 8 rounds of chemo but refused the steroids.

[Isitadoubleentendre]

I also thought that the film about that little girl, Eve, was good because it didn't just show her as a 'smiling thumbs up cancer kid', it showed her crying in pain and upset when speaking to the doctor.

I know it's still quite far from the reality, but I hate the way that cancer and chemo, especially with kids, is almost romanticised. Like the child will go to hospital, be given some drugs, maybe vomit a bit and lose their hair, but they will smile through it all, and they will either lose or win their 'battle'. The reality of cancer and its treatment is so different.

[Isitadoubleentendre]

I agree that this whole thing about 'fighting' cancer can imply that if you complain/cry/die then you aren't fighting hard enough.

But I also think that actually a lot of 'kicking cancers arse' and 'standing up to cancer' isnt about individuals illnesses but about raising money for research and new.treatments, which there was a lot of talk of last night as well.

I also agree that anyone who has had cancer, or has watched someone die of cancer can shout 'fuck you cancer' if they want. Adam Hills and that NZ Paralympic guy both lost parents to cancer, and it was AH dad who coined the 'kick cancer in the dick' thing, and if they want to smash things up, especially on telly where it might raise money for more research into treatment, then I do struggle to take issue with it.

[user1476656305]

I also hate the 'battle' thing with cancer.
Just think if my mum had just 'fought' a bit harder she wouldnt have died of leukaemia.
What a load of rubbish.
I also find the personification of cancer really really silly.
'kick cancer in the back' 'we are coming to get you cancer' 'cancer doesnt want this or that'
Utterly pathetic/
Anyway it doesnt seem to be cancer that kills you but the medical treatment you get.

[Hassled]

I left the room when they started smashing things. I realise it may help some people - but using the smashing/fighting/battling analogies sort of implies that if you die from the bastard thing you just haven't fought hard enough, that you've failed, and that certainly wasn't the case for my mother. That's what makes me uncomfortable about it.

[exLtEveDallas]

I liked the message from the Welsh Judo player (is player the right word? It sounds wrong)

He said (paraphrasing) that he treated Cancer like one of his matches - every match there was a winner and a loser, and one day he would be the loser (terminal diagnosis). But he wasn't going to stop training or playing (living) because of that. He'd just do what he could until the last bout.

Sometimes you don't have to 'fight' you just have to get on.

But what I really think: People with cancer, or with friends/family with cancer. Express yourself however the fuck you like. If that is wailing into a pillow - great. If that is smashing up a melon - great. If that is shouting "Fuck You Cancer" or "Kick Cancer in the Dick" or "Please leave me alone to die in peace" - great.

Do whatever works for you.

[AttilaTheMeerkat]

Bogey

I agree with you.

I detest with a passion all the battle analogies that are talked about around cancer and I blame the media for further using such language as well. I never heard such even a decade ago, let alone when my grandparents were diagnosed.

Nicknacky by the bucketload. My DH would have some idea of how you feel because his dad also died from a brain tumour.


(I was shocked to learn that cancers of the brain kills more people under the age of 40 than any other type; was this fact at all mentioned on C4 yesterday?)

[maisiejones]

I work for a cancer charity and have banned the words beat, fight, win etc. from my staff's vocabularies. I absolutely hate these words in this context.

[mrswhiplington]

Piglet

I had cancer 4 years ago. Underwent a mastectomy. Myself and the doctors and nurses just quietly got on with it. No amount crying or shouting helped me. Just the gentle support of others.

If people really want to help rid the world of cancer, give generously to cancer research. They are the ones really making the difference.

[PigletWasPoohsFriend]

I think this is only my opinion as my dad does feel as though it's a war, thats the attitude he believes got him into remission the 1st time so hope it's the same again!

I agree.

I am fighting it yet again and to me it is a constant battle.

[ThoraGruntwhistle]

Totally agree. It's a horrible bastard illness, that has to be treated by doctors, not something that can be shouted down or stood up to. The idea that a person hasn't fought hard enough or has somehow 'let it win' if they don't get better is really insulting.

[ToastDemon]

The ice bucket challenge wasn't even meant to be for cancer. It was for Motorola Neurone Disease and got hijacked which must have diverted a lot of funds away from it.
I totally agree. My mother died of Non Hodgekins lymphoma. It wasn't a thing you can "stand up to". The doctors did their best but it killed her. I take offense at the implication that she didn't fight hard enough.

[Bogeyface]

kittens it saddens me so much that a person who is dealing with cancer cannot be frightened and angry for fear of being seen as not fighting it. Its so wrong.

I think that the people who thought up this campaign did it from the best of motives but with no knowledge of the reality.

[Bogeyface]

bippity

I agree that any fundraising is a good thing, but from what I have seen there is no fundraising attached to "smash shit up against cancer". If it was a case of "Give £10 to Cancer Research" and smashing shit up to publicise it, then great, but from what I have seen it is just smashing things.

I hope your dad gets well xx

[bippitybopityboo]

I think this is only my opinion as my dad does feel as though it's a war, thats the attitude he believes got him into remission the 1st time so hope it's the same again!

[bippitybopityboo]

I think the whole point of it is to raise money to help with research into finding a cure or treatments to help. All of the money raised by stand up to cancer goes into cancer research. The ice bucket challenge raised so much money, this smashing melons thing I believe they are hoping to be something like that?
My dad is currently fighting a lymphoma relapse which has come back very aggressively and I honestly think ANY fund raising that is going to help towards finding a decent cure for cancer is a good thing how could it not be

[HelenaDove]

Kittens


DHs mum died of breast cancer in 1973. She was only 46.

DH was 23 when they lost her.

[KittensWithWeapons]

I'm very sorry for your loss, Nicknacky

[KittensWithWeapons]

I couldn't agree more. Cancer has taken both of my Dad's parents, his sister (at thirty fucking nine) and his brother. They fucking fought to beat it and died anyway. Horrible, painful, undignified deaths. They 'stood up' to cancer and it killed them anyway. I have an Aunt who's breast cancer is in remission. She hates the 'fight cancer, crush cancer' rhetoric. I remember her breaking down and saying that she was so exhausted with fighting, with staying positive, with having to slap on a smile and 'battle' her disease. She wanted to cry, and be frightened, and fall apart a bit. She wanted to be allowed to be fucking terrified.

[BummyMummy77]

Nicknacky

[Dontpanicpyke]

Totally yes agree all the posts and so sorry for all the losses.

[HelenaDove]

Nick So sorry for your loss

[HelenaDove]

This winds me up no end. Its an illness not a war.


But there is something else which really gets to me. Earlier this week there was a short film on after the Channel 4 news about a young woman with an aggressive form of breast cancer. One of the treatments is steroids which has made her gain weight.

Last week NHS Harrogate were the second area to put out a statement saying they would make obese patients wait six months to be treated,

what if your obesity has been caused by a treatment that is no fault of your own.

And they arent the only ones. A statement from Breast Cancer Care included being overweight as being one of the possible contributory causes to cancer.

So if people see a woman being treated for cancer around and she happens to be overweight some may think she got cancer because of her lifestyle

When the fact is its the treatment that may have caused her weight to go up.

If we are going to do these campaigns its time to be a bit more responsible with the information that is put out there and stop omitting that some of the problems are caused by the treatment of the illness.

With all these press releases on obesity (we seem to get at least one a month) ive never seen a caveat on the end of any of these articles about how in a lot of cases its caused by medication.

Its irresponsible


If (God forbid) i ever get ill steroids WILL be refused. Ive lost a great deal of weight which was hard bloody work (my weight wasnt caused by meds) but i dont want to go there again for any reason.

They want to moan about weight. Well with me they would have to put their money where their mouth is.

[Itmustbemyage]

Totally agree. What makes cancer specially deserving of such rhetoric, should people just accept Alzheimer's, heart disease, kidney failure or other terrible diseases or illness and only fight cancer?
News Flash - Cancer Cells don't watch TV or YouTube they don't care if you take part in walks or smash things up.
My dad died of lung cancer and he thought all this "fighting talk" was bo....ks and he lived for two years after being told he had six months, so he probably would have been someone who was held up as a great example of someone who fought cancer.

[Bogeyface]

That fucking sucks Lucy, and I know exactly what you mean. Its an insult to everyone who "loses" to cancer.

Everyone I have known who has had it has been brave, courageous and strong, whether they lived or died.