AIBU to think 16 is too young to drink?

[CHJR]

Needless to say we are talking about my PFB (there are 2 younger). He has never really had more than a taste of alcohol before to my knowledge, but last night when we were all at a family party he had at least three glasses of wine. He was with schoolmates, one of whom had one small glass and the other of whom didn't touch anything. As background, where I come from it would certainly not be legal for a 16-year-old to drink, even in family. And perhaps more important, my husband is an alcoholic, and descended from a long line of alcoholics. High-functioning, in his case, as in holds down a good job, but drunk every night within an hour of getting home from work, at least three bottles a night every single night. (Don't go on about LTB. I have considered it in past, but he is not violent or difficult on it, and otherwise great.)

So, what if anything should I advise my 16-year-old? Am I being too anxious with my PFB?

[zeeboo]

In my world it is perfectly normal. I did, my dh did, parents did etc. I buy my teens wine or beer for parties they attend and they have wonderful healthy attitudes to drinking. When I was 18 the ones getting carted off to A&E were always the ones whose parents hadn't allowed them to drink as younger teenagers so they had no idea of what their tolerance was like at 18 and had immature attitudes to throwing it down their neck.

[Squeegle]

I absolutely agree that it's not right btw that they should all live like that, but I do get it that sometimes you feel it's physically safer to be there. My
ex used to swear he would not drink with kids, would get pissed and crash out - they would have been 2 and 4. I had to stay at that point, I couldn't leave as I couldn't hand them over, and my solicitor said that I would have to

[dybil]

In my experience, 16 would be a normal age to start drinking (and I'd certainly have had more than 3 glasses of wine at that age too). Waiting until he was 18 would be abnormal (not necessarily wrong, but everyone I knew was drinking before that age, with parental approval).

[BillSykesDog]

It's not just genetics though. It doesn't work like 'you have the alcoholic gene therefore you will be an alcoholic'. If you have the genes it's not like you have one drink and then you're in the gutter with a bottle of cider. Plenty of people with the alcoholic gene drink normally.

It has to be a combination of things, normally genes, possibly some sort of trauma, mental health problems and actually drinking enough alcohol in pretty vast quantities for a sustained period of time to develop an addiction - often having a social life entirely revolving around drinking. It is a combination of genetic, environmental and behavioural factors which come together which creates alcoholics. The gene is in my family but I think it's only really produced about 3 alcoholics over 5 generations of extended family.

OP, I know what you mean about your DH. My DF had a professional job which he was very good at and reached the very top level of whilst drinking at similar levels to your DH. Never really seemed drunk, never hung over, always up in the morning alert. Wasn't a bad parent although he could rarely drive if I wanted a lift. Even now in his 70s he drinks and apparently has the liver of an 18 year old. Some people are just aberrations
and they can. Would have just made everybody's life more miserable if my parents had split up. Just because some people think you should LTB on principal doesn't make it right if it's not actually causing problems.

3 glasses is a lot for a 16 year old though. It sounds like he is used to drinking so forbidding it would probably be bolting the proverbial stable door. I think you need to talk to him about the risks including genes though. Because it does sound like he is possibly starting to have more than one of the factors that occur alongside genetics to cause a problem.