aibu to write this

[spashy]

hi i am avid lurker on mm. and for operational reasons i won't post what this man does because i don't want to be on the dailymail. (threads should be just that on a forum)

Background story i am single and i am 32. I had 2 loving parents and i love an older man (not sure why but i do:)) i recently attend but not often to this man who is an service professional.

He is very qualified in his job always behaves impeccable. In my view i think he is an absolute gentleman and always very polite etc.
I Was recommended by him through a friend. Who has since moved away but thought he did his okish.

We just talking about him by chance and i said that he so lovely, he makes feel at ease, could have really put on the charges, and we i see him out and about in the town area he always says hello first (even when i only met him briefly) and exchange pleasantries.
(NOTHING MORE !!!) She actually found that a bit strange and she never got more than a few words out of him. But agreed he is a nice man. This man i say is in his mid 50s at least.
To my knowledge he wore no Ring, no photos up in his office of a family, and not ever a mention. So i assumed he was one of those aloof bachelor types. Who is a very nice gentleman and recently had to attend to him a few times nothing really serious just a few enquirers and he was lovely.
We chatting about a few things just holiday type things i told him i was going abroad to south Africa and i was a bit panicky about it he told me he been there last year with friends.
and just enjoy. you love it and i did. for the last few times i think he just charged me the nominal amount. i had to see him this week and he was lovely so understanding and when i told him my worst fears on a case he said that he never let that happen.
He gave me the royal service. he gave me his full time and attention and even sought advice from his higher up friend and i was surprised to only pay the nominal charge i was expected double or triple the amount.

I came out with a buzz not sure why i relayed it to my friend who said that i think he has a shine for you. (but all through the time he behaved impeccable )

so out of curiosity i did a quick google and i was sad and i am not sure why but when i found out he was married . and i literally was like why i am sad of course a kind man like him with a good profession will be snapped up.
so i happened to notice his wife and omg like she was like me but at least 20 years plus older than me same curvy body type same hair same hair style same same eyes with sort of dress style .
i have big lips so has she

i like a nice dress and my nails and my sparkles i got my friend to google it and she noticed that yes she does look like you but older . it was weird it sort of lessen the blow. that she looked like me.

[spashy]

no i doubt that in fact a few times when i had to see him he never charge me a thing. or do a few letters he say sure its only a letter to hmrc stating that i have no funds to pay etc he smile at me and i would smile back. i do have a cheery side to me.

[spashy]

thats what i thought to. re my friend but i dont think that is the case

[user1473282350]

You know what, we are all wrong.

He totally has a severe case of the hots for you.

Keep stalking his family until you start a sexual relationship with him, and then watch his family life fall apart.

(Is that what you want us to say? Flippin' heck OP. He was doing his job. It doesn't mean anymore than that).

[notaveryniceperson789]

Given your obvious skills, why don't you write him a letter?

[fizzingmum]

Notaverynice . I call troll on this, anyone else or just me?

[user1473282350]

fizzingmum No, because that's against MN guidelines ;)

Can someone point out the letter suggestion was a joke though please, just in case.

[Chippednailvarnishing]

Given your obvious skills, why don't you write him a letter?

And if you are very lucky he might give you some useful tips to improve your grammar. For the nominal amount

[edwinbear]

I'd like to understand the relevance of '2 loving parents' in the equation.

[BurstBees]

The letter suggestion is just unkind.
OP, you are almost certainly reading more into these meetings than is intended. Your accountant sounds like a nice, pleasant man who is doing a good job for you.
If, on the other hand, he does fancy you then you know he is a married man who might be prepared to cheat on his wife. Is that the kind of man you want?

[george1020]

Why don't you ask him when you next see him OP if he fancies you and was it your sinning smile or savvy business skills that sealed the deal.

[spashy]

look i am not a troll and yes my grammer at times needs attention but so what. if i knew he was anyway involved with someone i would of course i would not go there but i didnt and he never made any advances however i always felt that was something. Maybe it was the way he chatted to me i dont know the 2 loving parents thing was that i always fancied an older man it was not to with my parents upbringing it just the way i am attracted to

[QueenLizIII]

It's called a crush. We've all had them.

Can you try and meet someone else?

[spashy]

as for the letter thing i have no idea why are talking about. for the letters that i need to prove that i had no money for the mess i was landed in and as he was my accountant he had to do one up for me and signed it. and he could of charge me but he didn't and he stated it was just a letter and i was very grateful for his kindness as he knew i had no money.

[spashy]

well i do try and go out and meet people but i am a bit shy when it comes to men and because i am a bit overweight i do feel self conscious.
However i am a lot better but this one
now.
i loved that he way he smiled, at me and i natural ed smiled back at him and i used to slghtly blush when he looked at me his eyes i did think they could have been a slight spark the way we chatted i dont really now i feel a bit silly tbh.
i don't know maybe in a weird way i reminded him of his wife in a younger carefree period perhaps
and i think the next relationship should i have because the last one was a disaster there has to be a little bit of a spark or a connection of some sort.

[PaulAnkaTheDog]

Back the fuck off and stop nurturing this complete fantasy.

That's my advice.

[PaulAnkaTheDog]

Op, if it we're a guy posting this they would be getting ripped to shreds. You sound obsessive and stalkery. You need to realise your thoughts are way beyond normal.

[ollieplimsoles]

Hi op, sorry some of the replies have been unkind on here.

Why don't you try and take tour mind off him, get yourself on a dating site and meet someone new? If you need a confidence boost why not go to the gym, gets you focused in something else, improves your fitness and you could meet someone else?

Best not to think if him too much in this way as you might upset yourself?

And to the posters having a go at op's grammar/ spelling- its not beyond the realms of possibility that English is not her first language? Or something else?

Cut her some slack.

[BlancheBlue]

This isn't real is it? Mainly as I have NEVER heard of accountants doing work saying "don't worry about payment for this bit of the job"

[PaulAnkaTheDog]

The OP posted a few years ago about a relationship problem. I do wonder whether there is an issue stemming from that, or whether there was self esteem issues before that. Either way she is better than this.

[AdaLovelacesCat]

ffs if you want a man, go and get your own one, a fresh one.
Why would you want an old, used one that is with someone else anyway?

[LadyB49]

Head is full of sweetie mice and slamming doors !!!

[GiddyOnZackHunt]

Right I daresay we've all had brief 'crushes' on someone. Sometimes that will be on a slightly more authorative person, a person off the telly, a fictional character or someone who's helping us.
In your case this is points 1 & 4. He might be slightly moves to you than your friend because you remind him of his wife or because you're more polite than your friend.
You are seeing what you want to see because of your crush. Don't think for one moment that he's going to sweep you off your feet.

[GiddyOnZackHunt]

nicer not moved ffs dyac

[Canyouforgiveher]

I know he isn't a therapist but an accountant but I think you do need a therapist. I think it might be immensely helpful to you.

Maybe focus on that - working out your own issues - than feeding random crushes (we all feel them - we don't feed them) on men who are clearly likely to be married.

[metaphoricus]

You googled him. He is married. So you really have to leave him alone.
Married men and women, every day, all over the world, meet somebody who puts a sparkle in their eye and think 'What if'? But that's as far as it goes.
It could be anything from politeness to a client, to a slight feeling of attraction, or he might just feel a bit sorry for you and your financial position. Bottom line, you know he is a married man, so you have to back off or it will all end in tears for somebody.