Fine dining with kids, yes or no?

[luckymommy]

So, we went away for the weekend as a family for a family celebration, and booked a table at a fancy restaurant at a hotel. They class it as fine dining, and it was fancy but not the super duper end of fine dining either.

Booked a couple of months in advance, had numerous telephone and email conversations with them, explained before I booked there would be 2 children aged 12 months, and 3 yrs. They confirmed children were welcome, no problem. They said they would offer a children's menu and provide a high chair.

Also explained it was for my parents 40th anniversary.

We got dressed up, went along, sat down. No problem. Kids were being well behaved, sitting still, excited. (This doesn't always happen but made sure they were all napped up ready!) However, my 12 month old was noisy, not screaming or shouting but he was babbling away, granted at some volume, but not shouting or screaming. As 1 year olds do, or so I thought.

The waiter brought us water and menus. The manager then came over, and said 'I'm sorry but we are unable to tolerate noise in fine dining'.

I could have cried there and then, I apologised and we got up and left. Felt rather humiliated.

We overheard the couple next to us saying they didn't like what had just happened and they left with us.

I understand people don't like noisy kids in certain situations, but I had repeatedly checked the kids would be OK, and they were so helpful to accommodate us over the phone for a special occasion. This isn't something we normally do, but it was a treat.

Anyway, we ended up wondering aimlessly around somewhere we didn't know on a Saturday evening trying to find somewhere to eat that could accommodate 8 of us last minute. We ended up at a hight street Italian chain where the staff where incredibly lovely and welcoming.

AIBU to be upset at basically being asked to leave, despite assurances children (they knew the ages) would be welcome?

[maddiemookins16mum]

But you were welcome (they seated you all as opposed to turning you away at the door). The problem was the baby was noisy, quite normal of course.
Is anyone at fault? not really, it just didn't work out the way you hoped (and please don't go to the Daily Mail as a pp suggested).

[orangebird69]

As the mother of a 13mo, I wouldn't even consider taking him to a fine dining restaurant. I wouldn't appreciate someone else's baby 'babbling' away whilst I'm trying to enjoy my £12 glass of wine so I wouldn't expect anyone else to tolerate that from my ds. The restaurant however were BY to say kids were welcome as it would seem they only are if they're mute.

[orangebird69]

BU, not BY

[SpookyPotato]

I understand people not wanting babies there, but to provide a highchair is really odd if they feel this way. Highchairs are for very young children and there will be some high volume noises no matter how well behaved they are.. it's a baby! They are sending a confused message.

[petitpois55]

Wouldn't want kids, especially babbling babies in a decent restaurant. Bad enough that people are expected to suck it up in the chain restaurants like Pizza express etc.

i'm assuming the reason you were told you would all be welcome, was because the assumption was that your children would be well behaved and not piss off other diners.

[MuseumOfCurry]

It's hard to say without knowing which restaurant.

Le Manoir aux Quat’Saisons have a children's menu. Or is Le Manoir not "fine dining"?

I wouldn't take a baby to Fera at Claridge's, for example, but I would take a baby to Le Manoir aux Quat'Saisons. While the former is ruthlessly formal, the latter is pretty rustic and there's a good space between tables.

The fact that the restaurant provides high chairs but asked a babbling baby to leave reflects a confused baby policy.

[petitpois55]

There's a restaurant we go to about once every six weeks. It's a bit of a drive, so means one of us can't drink, but in a beautiful setting, so totally worth it.
There is a large sign on the door, saying well behaved children are welcome, and that parents are solely responsible for their own children, and they will be asked to leave if they are disturbing other diners.

It has been there for about nine years, and I can honestly say that in all that time, there has only been two instances when we were there, where the manager has had to ask people to leave because their children's behaviour were impacting negatively on other diners.

I wish more restaurants would do this, as it would deter an awful lot of families who don't seem to care about the affect of their little darlings behaviour on others.

[FineBerol]

Kids should definitely not be allowed in fine dining restaurants.

[orangebird69]

My old local pub/eatery had a sign up in th bar -
'No under 18s in the bar. Under 14s in the restaurant must be accompanied. Screaming babies will not be tolerated.'

Loved it.