Happened to me twice yesterday. First time just after lunch in a restaurant. I have just settled down on the seat when I hear the parent and child outside the door.
'Is this one open?' Rattles the door of the cubicle next to me loudly. Clearly not.
'This one?' Rattles my door loudly. No it fucking isn't, leave me alone.
'Are you sure?' Rattles my door again. Fuck off, I've had two glasses of wine and need a wee. Look at the red sign on the lock.
DC continued kicking the cubicle door next to me. A very nervous trip to the toilet, I was terrified that the door would burst open (silly, I know).
Then a few hours later, we had 45 minutes to spare and sat outside a Costa in the sun. Lovely, so relaxing. I nipped into the toilet before we left. One of those unisex/ disabled toilets.
I hear one person come in and rattle the door (terrifying as it only locks by pulling the handle up so more precarious than the previous incident). They give up. Thirty seconds later they try again. Fuck off, I had a big lunch and I've only been in here a minute (they must've almost followed me through the door to the toilet!). Then someone else comes in and I hear the conversation.
'I think there's someone in there.'
'Oh really?'
'Yeah look.' Rattles my door to show that it won't open.
If they think it's going to make me hurry up they've got another think coming. If anything it just makes my arsehole seize up.
AIBU here? Bore off.
AIBU?
People who won't accept that the toilet door is locked.
ClaudiaWankleman · 12/09/2016 08:52
Then in those ultra special circumstances my comment isn't applicable 
I was at a festival a few months ago and went to use one of the loos that was unlocked, opened it up and there was a man standing their going for a wee! 
Now I'm really cautious when opening unlocked doors in case I am ever faced with something like that again.
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I love some of these responses. 
I am making a mental note of some of them for the next time this happens to me.
Think I might go with calling out loudly that "I am doing a shit / taking a dump" to start with. Not in my home town though. Too much chance of coming face to face with someone I know if they didn't bugger off. In a nearby larger city, as it would be much more anonymous.
At work we have a lady in our office who will follow you directly into the ladies that has only one toilet and stand right outside the door, sniffing (yes really) and coughing. There's five other women on our floor and we try to time going when she is on the phone or out of the office.
OR she follows you in, stands outside the cubicle and has a very loud conversation on her phone to one of her mates 
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I once forgot to press the lock button on one of those slidey trains toilet doors it opened mid-pee I was on my period as well argh Took me a couple of years to work up the courage to use such a toilet again and I still try and avoid them if possible
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