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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

People who refer to themselves as Mummy it daddy

86 replies

fj3568 · 29/08/2016 00:56

Can't beat it. Why do people refer to themselves as mummy or daddy in the third person, smacks of a loss of identity.

OP posts:
AnotherUsernameBitesTheDust · 29/08/2016 09:35

It's how I spoke to my kids when they were babies and it doesn't seem to have done them any harm (unless someone wants to blame my DSs autism and the fact he didn't talk till he was 5 on it!)

I stopped once they were toddlers. Although I do like to tell my 17 yo that "Mummy wuvs you baby" He loves that. Wink

ohidoliketobe · 29/08/2016 09:37

It's a feature of infant directed speech which is a natural phenomenon in cultures across the world. Studies have shown IDS is a key element of child acquisition of language, and that's why people (some, obviously not all, reading this thread) do it without thinking about it. All part of the amazing innate knowledge and desire we have as humans to communicate.

Some good info here if anyone is interested: www.parentingscience.com/baby-talk.html

So, if you want to make a concious effort to help your infant talk, you'll just go with it from day 1. And give in to all the ickle wickle urges you get for Mummy to talk like thiiis. Yeees. Thaaat's riiight. Oh! Ooooh! I tickle yoouu. Grin Obviously not to a 17 year old. In front of their friends. That would just be mean.

ohidoliketobe · 29/08/2016 09:39

another crosspost - my 17 year old comment wasn't aimed at you! Ha that is brilliant. I can't wait until my kids are old enough to embarras

TheLastRoseOfSummer · 29/08/2016 09:40

My daughter is 10.

My exh still refers to himself in the first person and speaks to her in a baby voice, "Darling, can you bring that over to Daddy please?"

Does my fucking noodle in!

ParanoidGynodroid · 29/08/2016 09:41

GETTING I speak to my dog like this too. I've only just told him "Give it to Mummy!"" He does understand "Mummy". I think.

I did similar with my children when they were babies/toddlers. "Give it to Mummy! (with a gesture)" is far easier to understand that "Give it to me"
Thing in hand... Mummy... OK (passes it over).

Of course, me and I etc. take over as they become older.

zzzzz · 29/08/2016 09:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

rockyroad3 · 29/08/2016 09:44

You are a SLT OP? Really? All of my children attended SLT and infant-directed speech, or motherese as it is often called was always encouraged by them all. Research consistently backs that up.

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeG0es · 29/08/2016 09:44

I announce myself as DC's mum or mother when phoning school up, otherwise there's a good chance they won't know who I am, I usually also say their year or class. Surely this is essential information when communicating with any but the smallest schools? I do sometimes use my own name too, especially if someone will have to ring me back, but if it's just a quick "they're ill today" then no need for my name.

KeyserSophie · 29/08/2016 09:50

DSs call me Mum and DH by his name

DD (4) does this if I'm ignoring her or not listening, so it's

"Mummy.....Muuuummmmmeeeeeee......... Muuuuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeeeeee...... AngrySophie!!!"

DecaffCoffeeAndRollupsPlease · 29/08/2016 09:50

I announce myself as DC's mum or mother when phoning school up

Thank you, thought I might have been going mad or making an embarrassing faux pas there.

PinkyOfPie · 29/08/2016 10:03

Pag as I said I didn't know if their style contributed to anything i was more pointing out the fact that they were so sure baby talk was a no-go yet their DD still developed speech issues regardless. I guess what I'm trying to say is no method can prevent problems occurring, but reading my post back I see how it came across badly and I apologise I didn't mean to offend!

MistressPage · 29/08/2016 10:04

My husband and I gleefully call each other Mummy and Daddy to and in front of our little one. We waited a long time to do so. We revel
In it and it makes us blissfully happy. We don't give a fuck what you or anyone else thinks of this.

PinkyOfPie · 29/08/2016 10:04

I also call DDS nursery saying "It's DDs mum" (never mummy) as like PP say if I said my name they wouldn't know who I was the nursery is huge and has lots of parents with my first name, and I have a common surname too (think Smith common).

GreenGlassLove · 29/08/2016 10:06

I referred to my husband as daddy and he referred to me as mummy. As DS got older it became 'your dad' and 'your mum' and at this point if we're talking to any of the boys I refer to DH as 'dad' and DH refers to me as 'mother'. Not to each other though, we have proper names for that shit.

Irelephant · 29/08/2016 10:09

I do it too the dog Blush I need to be more careful DD2 keeps picking up on it and DH isn't her dad. I hear Mammy about 50 million times a day without DH adding too the number.

Pagwatch · 29/08/2016 10:13

No worries Pinky.

There is just always such guilt attached to having a child with speech issues and people are quick to try and find a way that parents may have contributed - some more nastily than others. I just hate that stuff.

No need to apologise Smile
Thanks though.

tararabumdeay · 29/08/2016 10:25

I always used the personal pronoun so e.g. 'Give it to me please.'
Rather than 'Give it to Mummy please.'

'This is for you, Josh.' Not 'This is for Joshy.'

Worked ok and sounded more like natural speech. Until one day, before he was two, I asked him his name and he replied 'Josh me are'.

More recently the same floppy haired youth asked me where the hair dryer was. I had to explain that sadly it's gone because, 'It tried to hurt Mummy'.

Either way is fine.

maddiemookins16mum · 29/08/2016 10:48

I say it to my cat 😊 (but only when we're alone naturally).

maggiethemagpie · 29/08/2016 10:58

I call my partner dadda, he calls me mamma, I talk about myself in the third person (within the family) eg mummy's going to the shops, I called my children babba (DS) and baby (DD) for the first year of their lives, it's not a loss of identity merely a silly family thing that I do tongue in cheek!

PersianCatLady · 29/08/2016 13:49

I say Mummy and Daddy to the kids and to each other we call each other our birth names
When you are talking to each other when the children are there, what do you call each other then?

FarAwayHills · 29/08/2016 14:01

Grown ups referring to their DH or DW as as Mumny or Daddy in conversation with other grown ups is just wrong and forty something grown ups referring to their parents as Mummy or Daddy just makes my teeth itch.

FarAwayHills · 29/08/2016 14:02

*Mummy

whywonthedgehogssharethehedge · 29/08/2016 14:04

If talking to one of the kids I do it eg go find dad, please give that to mum. If I'm talking to DH directly I use his name.

It's confusing for the kids otherwise.

tempersflaring · 29/08/2016 14:10

I only refer to my husband as Daddy when we are having sex as I'm kinky like that Wink

user7755 · 29/08/2016 14:50

when DH and I got married, we were so excited to BE married we referred to each other as "a Hubs" and "a wife" (or, occasionally, a wifelet)

Sorry, I will read the whole thread in a minute but this made me want to throw up.