To hate "Viral Facebook Shaming"?

[Chihuahualala]

I'm not talking about missing people, pets etc - I think it's great for that that pictures can be shared.

I just read a shared post where someone is offended that someone pushed past her to get on a train and didn't offer her a seat (she's pregnant). A photo of the offender is attached. This person could not have been aware of their actions/ on the spectrum maybe and now has their picture shared globally to show what a wanker they supposedly are.

The same thing happens in local groups where someone has taken a picture of a car complete with number plates and rants about some misdemeanour they have done. Usually accompanied with, "I had my kids in the car you wanker" and cue loads of comments such as "Aw hun, I'll get xxx to break their legs"

AIBU to find this type of vigilante style shit annoying on Facebook? Before the, "if it gets on your nerves so much delete your account" brigade arrive it's a small annoyance and doesn't take over my enjoyment of Facebook but I just find it really distasteful. I could not be aware I've done something awful (my eyesight isn't great) and next thing I could be seeing my mug being shared all over the place I suppose!

[MidniteScribbler]

It terrifies me how this could be used. We had a child at a school I used to teach at that was not to be photographed or identified for very good reasons. An estranged family member posted their photo and "missing" comments, it got shared, and a well meaning parent at the school said where they went to school. We had the person concerned show up acting very aggressively, and the poor family had to move and change schools. Sometimes people are missing for a very good reason.

[Gwenhwyfar]

"Perhaps naming and shaming is wrong, but if it's stops them doing it again?"

How can you prove 100% that it was their rubbish thought? That's the problem. People are being shamed with no chance to defend themselves. I suppose you're also making yourself open to claims of libel.

An elderly man was angry with me once because I didn't hold the door open for him. This was because I hadn't seen him! Would it have been fair for him to name and shame me?

[DeathpunchDoris]

I suspect a lot of it is just clickbait.

[treaclesoda]

I hate these too. And also the people who do things like parking in disabled spaces/leaving a pile of rubbish in a beauty spot/letting their dog crap in a children's playground etc won't be shamed into changing their behaviour anyway. They think they're entitled to do things like that because their wants are so much more important than other people's safety and/or comfort. If they do see themselves being named and shamed in facebook they will either be laughing to themselves at other people's reactions or else they'll be playing the victim and saying 'ooh, the nasty bullies'. What they'll not be doing is thinking 'oh, what I did was wrong, I'll change my ways'

[WamBamThankYouMaam]

If it's not bad enough to confront the person, call the emergency services or whatever, then it isn't bad enough to film and upload to social media.

And the missing persons thing. God. Please never ever share that shit unless it's directly from a police page.

[ChicRock]

^I saw one on Friday, the first picture was of a big family on the beach.
The second was when they'd left, with piles of rubbish including dirty nappies and bottles left scattered around^

What, so someone on a beach thought "I'll just take a photo of this random family enjoying a day out in case they leave a load of rubbish on the beach", and lo and behold, they did leave rubbish?

Creepy weirdo behaviour.

[Chihuahualala]

There was one last year, the person wasn't photographed and named but it went along the lines of girl went on a tinder date and got a response the next day that the guy thought she was lovely but a bit too on the plump side for him. Cue "I've been fat shamed, but I have my self worth" post being shared all over Facebook.

I rolled my eyes, this happens all the time. A woman could have told a bloke he wasn't tall enough for her.

[YorkieDorkie]

YANBU it's a virtual witch hunt out there and it's pathetic.

[RebelRogue]

Considering facebook allows groups of parents that have had their kids taken by ss to exist and share pics of their kids complete with let me know if you see them and where,and omg hun i'll punch their adoptive parents if i see them, i have always been weary of the missing persons thing. No one bothers to check and everyone wAnts to be the hero/vigilante putting the world back to rights.

[Gwenhwyfar]

Chihuahualala, I actually think it's OK if you don't name the person or give any other identifying details.

I get your point that she could have said something similar to him, but his behaviour was still ungentlemanly - he could have just said she wasn't his type - and I think it's Ok for her to want to share her disappointment with her friends.

[BeingATwatItsABingThing]

I've had children in my class at school who can't have their picture taken in case their parents find them. I will never take the risk that the child's picture I'm sharing will lead to somebody bad finding them.

[GwendolynPost]

There's a woman in my area who had some success on a minor reality style TV programme about 15 years ago. She clearly can't let her "fame" go as she's constantly shaming people on Facebook (usually for the capital punishment deserving crimes of bad parking and not giving up seats on the bus).

She also posts photos of herself giving a homeless person a sandwich (homeless person is usually in the picture too) which go viral with lots of "Aw hun, you're such an angel" type comments.

It makes me so angry, she's only interested in some Facebook fame and uses vulnerable members of society to get it.

She used to pop up in the local paper for the most spurious of reasons, I guess she's just taken her attention seeking behaviour online.

[MeAndMy3LovelyBoys]

It really annoys me. When people shame others on social media, it gives the green light and encourages other people to shame anyone for any old thing.
Even the situations most people would think are perfectly fine being plastered all over Facebook in order to shame someone, I still find it annoying because vigilantes annoy me in general anyway.
It's attention seeking as well.
It's like society is on a constant witch hunt and social media is their tool for accomplishing that. It's so bloody irritating.

[SpaceUnicorn]

What, so someone on a beach thought "I'll just take a photo of this random family enjoying a day out in case they leave a load of rubbish on the beach", and lo and behold, they did leave rubbish?

It's a bit suspicious, isn't it? I wonder if they photographed everyone on the beach that day, in anticipation of potential littering?

[SpaceUnicorn]

I reported one the other week, which my MIL had shared. It was a photo of a woman who had allegedly been rude to another person's SN child. Perhaps it really happened, perhaps it didn't, but it was uploaded with a specific mention of wanting to shame the woman in the photograph. My MIL doesn't know either of the people involved, so she had no way of knowing if it was true or not (but she diligently shares every piece of FB crap that comes her way, as a public service to the rest of us ).

So I reported it to FB as harassment of an individual. But no, it was fine, apparently

[Corialanusburt]

It upsets me when the shamed person is vulnerable e.g. Homeless with mental health problems.
They're an easy target. On spellcheckaracist, for example, often those mocked are clearly people in this category.

[TwentyCups]

I really don't like this for all the reasons mentioned.

It would be incredibly easy for me to take a photo of someone, post it online, and make up a story about them spouting racist abuse (for example). This person could lose their job, their friends and their entire reputation based on my lie. The people in these photos cannot defend themselves.

If you see someone acting in an awful manner, call them out on it if possible. If you see someone doing something illegal take it to the police.

People have bad days. People can be rude. People can park and drive badly. This doesn't mean they are a monster who should be vilified online. It's an aspect of social media that I find disgusting.

[inaclearingstandsaboxer]

My daughter was a victim of a Facebook shaming picture.

She was sat on the floor stocking shelves in pound land as work experience and she was showing a bit of flesh.

The caption was 'look at this fat fucker she can't even stand up to do her work' or something like that. It was on our 'spotted in... ' Facebook page. I only saw it because a friend of my elder daughter had liked it.

I was devastated.

My daughter has autism, global delay and two life threatening conditions. She is in her early twenties. She enjoyed her week at pound land stacking shelves - she felt needed and her self respect was increased. Her tutor was so proud of her and so was I.

I contacted the admin and asked them to remove the picture and to consider the people they and their members were laughing at.

I contacted my elder daughters friend and she apologised - she didn't recognise my younger daughter.

I didn't tell my younger daughter. It would devastate her and demolish her fragile self esteem.

[x2boys]

thats horrible inaclearing my son has autism and learning disabillities hes six but he could be in youc daughters position one day people can be horrible.

[revealall]

With regards to that family littering though you do get a feel for people's behaviour patterns early doors.
We had a family obviously down from London plonk themselves next to us on the beach. You could tell they were going to be a pain as they the father and teenage boys were really loud and attention seeking, drinking energy drinks that sort of thing. And sure enough the boy that finished first just dropped the plastic bottle on the beach. It was dropped too close to their group to say they were littering and they might of picked it up later but ...nah you could tell none of them gave a shit about litter..
As it was I was very passive aggressive and commented loudly to DS that I hoped we 'd picked up all our rubbish with a pointed look at the family.
I bet I'd have good before and after photo 's though.

[MargaretCabbage]

YANBU. I see people sharing photos of someone, saying something like "this is xxxx, the scumbag who beat up xxxx", please share. I know if it's happened to you or someone in your family it's horrible, but let the police deal with it, not internet vigilantes.

Someone also shared a photo of two children with a sob story from their dad about how their horrible mother had disappeared with them. When I checked out his profile and saw previous comments it turned out it was going through court anyway and he wasn't allowed to have their address.

[phillipp]

reveal so if you go to the beach you are happy for people to take your families photos, incase they want to out you on social media later? If they think you just look like the type?

The fact is that this family (even if they did litter) had their photo taken, because someone thought they 'looked the type'. There's no proof they did anything B and certainly hadn't when their photo was taken. That's shitty and creepy behaviour and I would be incensed if some random was taking photos of me and my kids. Especially if the justification was 'well you look the type'.

[GwendolynPost]

Our local spotted page is fucking disgusting. It's run by a power hungry misogynist twat who enjoys shaming women.

He's posted pictures of drunk women outside nightclubs having wardrobe malfunctions and any woman who dares to be in public and over a size eight is fair game.

He runs it anonymously and the day he gets doxxed will be a great one.

[RattieOfCatan]

I hate it. There's usually no bloody proof and the poor bastard usually has no clue that there are photos of them circulating. And a lot of the time they are entirely innocent people who probably happened to be the wrong place at the wrong time. There have been people posting about "missing" family members who have had bloody good reason to get away and these idiots on FB lap up the story and share without thinking. It's bloody dangerous.

I saw a post on a local business page accusing somebody of stealing thousands upon thousands from her business whilst he worked for her complete with his photo, name, his dad's name and company, their address and business address, telephone numbers, etc. She was saying about how he'd been key off in court "again". Even if he had stolen the money what was she really trying to achieve posting this information? Inviting vigilante justice? Proving a point?

There was a woman interrogating my dad about his name and "where you are from" whilst he was working in a neighbouring home to hers a few weeks ago, taking photos the entire time (he is obviously middle eastern but is a British citizen! He's also ridiculously typically British so just refused to answer her questions and ignored her intrusive behaviour!) I am just waiting to see his photo on one of these posts about "illegals" which I've also seen being posted in the same manner with claims that he was violent or going on about religion or done such bullshit.

[ChicRock]

You could tell they were going to be a pain... drinking energy drinks that sort of thing

What??

If I caught someone taking a photo of my family because "you could tell they were going to be a pain" I'd ram their phone so far up their arse and my defence would be "I could tell" they were a creepy fucking weirdo taking a photo of my pre-teen son.