AIBU to let my dt's sleep in the back garden?

[inmyplace]

Reassurrance needed. Trying to be chilled. Dt's are 8. In a tent, in our tiny back garden. We live on a cul de sac on edge of a town. Low crime rate but shed did get broken into a couple of years ago. Dh will be in the conservatory with the door open- about 8ish feet away. I thought they'd cave, but no sign of going off the idea. Both just really happy and excited. I need to let them don't I?

[oneson070711]

I've stupidly googled the story,
My son is camping out with my dad in his garden in a few weeks and now I'm so worried!!

[LagunaBubbles]

Bikerlou what a ridiculous OTT scaremongering post that is.

[inmyplace]

Bikerlou- I really don't think people have changed. Think the media makes us think they have. I know in your work it must seem that way, but perhaps I can relate it to my experience as a (short lived) social worker. I ended up with a very skewed picture of the world and had to stop doing it. just to reassure you though- i am by an open door about 4 feet from the tent.
I agree with the previous poster that we have to let out children have some risks/freedom or they won't know how to stay safe as adults. Just wish it wasn't so freaking hard though.
Bubbins- haha, you've reminded me of the first night we brought the twins home. We kept them in the lounge in their moses baskets and both dh and i sat and watched them all night (when they weren't screaming). We were terrified!

[IAteSomeofthePies]

Hang in there, OP, they'll be fine. As others have said, you won't think twice about putting them in the car to go to the shops tomorrow (though maybe you should if you don't get any sleep!) and that is far riskier, statistically speaking.

Also, as further reassurance, we were camping a few weeks back, and the zippers going up/down on neighbouring tent flaps (25 feet or so away) were SO loud in the still night. You would definitely hear it in the conservatory. You probably will soon, in fact, when they need a wee!

[RedOnHerHedd]

My boys 11 and 8 camped out with next door neighbour boy 10 on the green in front of the house. It's a terraced street and the green is where all the kids go to play.

DH always stays on the sofa with the windows open, and I keep the windows open in the bedroom. DS1 has a mobile phone and he takes that with him.
Next door neighbour sleep with their window open too.

I think it's important for them to do.

I was a scout leader for a while and the boys always came on camps. They were beavers and Cubs too.

It can be a bit unnerving at first, but they absolutely love it!

[maninawomansworld01]

Don't worry. At 10 I slept in a tent 300 yards from the house in our field.

They'll be fine.

[RedOnHerHedd]

Agree with the sound of the zipper!!!
I never got ANY sleep on camps because of door zippers!!
Except when it's absolutely pissing down, can't hear a bloody thing then!

[5Foot5]

OP I am sure they will be fine and will love it.

When DD was 12 and had just broken up for the summer she was having two friends for a sleepover. The weather was set fair so the day before I suggested maybe we put the tent up in the back garden so they could sleep out. DD was wildly excited at the idea.

Some context - our back garden is very secure. Six foot fence all round, surrounded by neighbours gardens and bolts on the gate. We would have left patio door unlocked in case they needed to get in. And, well, three 12 year olds.

Anyway I thought I better just run it past the other girls parents first to see if they were OK with the idea. You guessed it. First mum I spoke to instantly said no way because she remembered the Sophie Hook case. The mum had been to our house several times and knew how enclosed our garden is.

A disappointed DD but what can you do. Ironically both girls subsequently camped with guides

[x2boys]

Oh for goodness sake kids were not safer in the sixties crimes are more reported now and the Internet makes people more aware of crimes there was always paedophile around but the Internet etc makes everyone more aware as long as precautions are taken we can't wrap our kids up in cotton wool ffs.

[MiscellaneousAssortment]

Are you still awake? Well done for letting them do this, it's so hard when you have to fight your whole being to let them!

[inmyplace]

Yep still here! One just got up for a wee and went straight back out without batting an eyelid. Still only me bothered by the whole thing!

[kali110]

Op your kids will be fine.
They'll have had a great night though you'll be knackered!
I'm sorry you came on here and got so worried you couldn't stay in bed
Agree that there's more chance of you being in an accident than anything happening to them!
They're in an enclosed garden with your dh in the conservatory.
It's fine.
Hopefully next time you'll be less stressed.
I don't think 8 is too young to camp out in their own garden either.
Hope you all have fun in the morning listening to their tales of adventure!

[Cavogirl]

OP, some of my happiest childhood memories are of camping in the garden - it's a rite of passage.
I get the worry, that's normal but it's great you've let them do this.
In the morning they will be soooooo happy and excited - good times.
Big hug if you're still up.
Xx

[Rumpelstiltskin143]

Can't believe some of the idiots on this thread. Yes a poor girl got murdered 20 odd years ago so now no one can camp in a garden ever again, how absolutely fucking ridiculous. Then they message saying "I told you not to google it", give me a break.

How on earth do you live your life on a daily basis when your terrified of turning around, talk about OTT. Some of you must be buying cotton wool a ton at a time.

[Cavogirl]

Rumple I just spat out my coffee

[Cavogirl]

Rumpel !! Auto bastard

[inmyplace]

Thanks. I know I'm being ridiculous not going to sleep, but something's just not letting me. It's kind of peaceful though so I am sort of resting. I think I will be better next time. I am good at balancing statistical risks normally (ie this is v low risk!) but I got spooked. But I do know it's good for them. Was amazed how unphased dt2 was when he woke up.

[SharonBottsPoundOfGrapes]

Bikerlou my mum was raped on her way to school in the 60's. She was 9. She wasn't overprotective and let us try and do things and make minor decisions for ourselves. She was determined not to let one mans disgusting and evil actions set the precedent for the rest of her life. I think my nana had a lot to do with that tbh. In those days such crimes went unreported, swept under the carpet and seen as shameful. She made sure my mum got justice. My mum had her moments but she always reigned it in. We camped in the garden as kids and unbeknown to us she sat at the back window with a flask of coffee and a stack of Mills and Boons. (That autocorrected to Boobs. :o )

[sashh]

I'm often awake in the early hours and it is peaceful in a different way to any other.

One thing about the awful case that wouldn't happen now is that he had attacked other children previously but charges were dropped over worries about children giving evidence in court.

Now their statements would be filmed and it would be highly unlikely the child would give evidence, if they did then it would be via video link.

That means he would have been locked up the first time and restrictions put on him via sex offender's register.

That's no consolation to that poor family but it has protected other children.

[Sweetdreamsaremadeofthis]

Let us know their reaction in the morning op bet they will be cuffed to bits they done the whole night under your watchfull eye on their own

Relax op and even if you dont sleep try and just rest

[Morsecode]

What an idiotic thing to do - "oh there's Sophie Hook but don't google" - when OP's children are in the garden and she's looking for reassurance.

[mogloveseggs]

Bet they've had a great time! We went to see swallows and amazons last week and now ds wants to go camping and dd wants a pocket knife and a bow and arrow. All it made me want was Dundee cake

[MimiSunshine]

Why can't people just say "i wouldnt do it" rather than deliberately trying to scare people.

You wouldn't go on a thread from a mum saying her child was going to nursery to the first time, looking for reassurance and mention Lydia Bishop or Millie Thompson nor would what happened to those poor girls put you off using a nursery.

Well done OP for getting through the night, just think of this as the same as you staying up the first night your twins came home, next time will be easier

[BertrandRussell]

"Why can't people just say "i wouldnt do it" rather than deliberately trying to scare people."

Because they are ridiculous drama queens who want to show they are better parents than other people.

Next question!

[maddiemookins16mum]

Hope the twins enjoyed their adventure. You know that now you have to get out the disposable bbq and cook sausages on it for breakfast don't you just to make it even better (failing that, amercan style pancakes with nutella).