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AIBU?

AIBU to let my dt's sleep in the back garden?

193 replies

inmyplace · 27/08/2016 19:59

Reassurrance needed. Trying to be chilled. Dt's are 8. In a tent, in our tiny back garden. We live on a cul de sac on edge of a town. Low crime rate but shed did get broken into a couple of years ago. Dh will be in the conservatory with the door open- about 8ish feet away. I thought they'd cave, but no sign of going off the idea. Both just really happy and excited. I need to let them don't I?

OP posts:

Report

AverysillyoldHector · 27/08/2016 23:11

My DD spent lots of nights sleeping on a trampoline with friends in our garden. As a young adult she now lives in New York and I think that she got her fearless nature from being allowed to start her adventures small.

HemanOrSheRa · 27/08/2016 23:11

You're doing well OP. Are they actually asleep? That is a miracle in itself . Well done! They will be fine. You won't be, you'll be a tired old hag! But it's a thing that we need to do - school trips, sleepovers etc. They really, really will be fine.

BertrandRussell · 27/08/2016 23:11

Whatever you do , make sure they don't know you stayed up. Don't spoil it for them. Please.

dowhatnow · 27/08/2016 23:11

Please be rational. The first time mine did it, Dh slept in our conservatory too, with a locked gate. As they've got older we've graduated to sleeping in a back bedroom with the window open. I don't think we even bothered to check if the gate was locked. There were 4 of them, they are now older.

It's scary to let go but it gets easier. Use your rational head. They really aren't in any danger with a locked gate and Dh a couple of metres away.

Get a grip and go to bed. They will be fine. You'll laugh about this in a few years.

Haudyerwheesht · 27/08/2016 23:13

OP. Kids are in car crashes every day, people don't stop driving with kids.

There are loads and loads and loads of kids who have camped out before and since SH's horrific murder. Please think about this rationally, they're having an adventure.

MothertotheLordsofmisrule · 27/08/2016 23:14

ClashCityRocker

I remember a similar story from a radio writer (?) where his kids were camping in the garden, but in case of emergency he put a string through his bedroom window for them to yank on and pull on a parents foot to wake them.
He somehow persuaded his wife that it should be tied to her foot using the argument she slept nearest the window.
She was very
He remembered waking in the night to his wife's foot shooting in and out of the bed and her swearing at him to get the string off while she held onto the bed in grim death.

It was funnier on the radio when he told it and I am dredging this up from my memory - but it was funny.

hefzi · 27/08/2016 23:16

angel that's what used to happen to us as kids in the 80s - you had to be 7 to be allowed to camp out and we were allowed to make a little camp fire in an old biscuit tin. Looking back, we seem to have spent huge chunks of the summer holiday camping out - probably because no-one cared if you didn't wash and played interesting games up trees and in the stream

Probably a miracle we all made it to adulthood!

OP - they'll have a brilliant time, and be well chuffed: though here it's raining, and if the same happens with you, they may well learn what happens in some tents when you're sleeping against the side and it rains - and trip over you on their way into the dry!

inmyplace · 27/08/2016 23:16

Yep they're asleep- have been for about 2 hours! No I won't let on that I didn't sleep. Although my short fuse might give it away.
The rational part of me does know they'll be fine and it's no big deal really- that's why I'm sticking with it. It's just unfortunate I tripped the worry switch.

OP posts:

MakeMyWineADouble · 27/08/2016 23:17

Talking of parents checking in on tents my friends Df did it to us when we were camping out for her birthday scared the crap out of us and they ended up with 4 hysterical preteens and we end up in the living room none of us are big campers to this day

AtSea1979 · 27/08/2016 23:20

I'd never heard of Sophie Hook until I asked the same question on MN a few years back. Couldn't sleep well for months after I googled.
Quite a difference response now though, as I was told a unanimous no don't do it.

inmyplace · 27/08/2016 23:24

Clashcity- . Still thinks its a good idea for if there is ever a next time!

OP posts:

MrsMook · 27/08/2016 23:27

My DCs love camping, and spent a night in the garden at the start of the summer. They're 3 and 5, so they had one of the two man tents and I slept in another next to theirs.

They had a fantastic night sleeping soundly. Unfortunately I pitched up on a lumpy patch of lawn from trying to keep close to them. I was also disturbed by cats making the fence rattle and some late night pokemon hunters going past the house. My neighbourhood isn't as quiet as I thought!

YolandiFuckinVisser · 27/08/2016 23:28

DD spent 4 nights out of 7 on our holiday this year sleeping on her own in a tent in the garden. We stayed at in-laws house in Cornwall, she has her own comfortable room there but preferred the adventure of camping out on her own.

HemanOrSheRa · 27/08/2016 23:28

Aw. Bless, they'll be awake very soon. I'll give them until 4am . You're doing great OP. Please let them think that they've stayed out 'all night' whatever you and DH do to settle your nerves.

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 27/08/2016 23:33

I still remember camping with my sisters for the first time, 22 years ago now. We loved it. We also camped in fields a few minutes walk from our houses from 7. From 8 I was camping in fields with friends. It was excellent fun, although we were always starving and sleepy in the morning!

It sounds like they've had a wonderful day with the permican and they'll remember this. They have you and their father nearby. Do try and nap if you can, you'll be shattered tomorrow. Do shifts like your husband suggested if you need too.

M0rven · 27/08/2016 23:35

My kids did this for the whole of the school holidays last summer. We do live a very safe place though.

The ony thing they were worried about is the fox. I have no idea why

inmyplace · 27/08/2016 23:38

The stories of the other children are really encouraging and is definitely helping me to put it in perspective. Thank you.
Mrsmook- yes it's kind of peaceful sitting here listening to the night noises. It's very quiet. Except for when someone a few streets away beeped their car horn really loudly and someone shouted 'someone's got the horn'. Resulting in much late night laughter. All quiet again now.

OP posts:

nennyrainbow · 27/08/2016 23:41

My DS (11) is in a tent in our garden on his own right now. He's been camping out for the past 2 nights and loves it. I used to do it when I was a kid too. They'll be fine.

HicDraconis · 27/08/2016 23:43

Camping in the garden - fab idea. Too cold here (winter) but in a month or so the boys will adore it.

I bet everyone who has said it would be terrible based on one high profile case more than 20 years ago still drives with children in the car (many more children injured in crashes than are abducted), or takes their child to shopping centres occasionally (far more children led away from parents in crowded areas than one per 20 years), or feeds them meat (cancer risk). We all risk assess our decisions on a daily basis and the overwhelming likelihood is that these children will be fine in the back garden in a tent.

We really do risk a generation of children that haven't been allowed to explore, assess their own risk, make their own choices.

bikerlou · 27/08/2016 23:51

No you don't. I work in the prison service, predators are everywhere. I wouldn't let my kids do this. Be out there with them or make them sleep inside, seriously.
This isn't the 60's. Times have very much changed and your kids are not safe.

JellyBelli · 27/08/2016 23:53

Its better to teach kids to scream and bite, and put other safety strategies in place, than to live in fear.

Bubbinsmakesthree · 27/08/2016 23:55

Talking about driving be more dangerous - of course I don't give it a second thought now but when DS came home from the hospital when he was born DH drove about 20mph the whole way! The first time DS slept in his own room I got up repeatedly in the night to check on him. First times are scary, but with experience it becomes normal. A few more back garden camping adventures and you'll wonder what you were worried about!

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squoosh · 27/08/2016 23:57

This isn't the 60's. Times have very much changed and your kids are not safe.

Were kids safer in the 60s? Were there less criminals about?

I doubt it.

BadTasteFlump · 27/08/2016 23:57

biker predators may seem to be everywhere in your line of work but I really don't think that's the case in your average suburban street. I believe statistics show that there are no more child abductions now than there were 50 years ago, just that we are much more aware of them now with 24 hour news and social media.

squoosh · 27/08/2016 23:57

'fewer criminals' even.

Tsk.

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