To lock the bathroom door and make them ask for the key?

[Obliviated]

Because I am seriously close to losing my temper over the state of the toilet.

The seat is always covered in pee. No matter how many times I have asked them to either lift or wipe the seat, it just doesn't happen. It's 12 year old DS that's the culprit, I'm 99% sure of it. I just used the bathroom straight after him and had to clean the seat first. Again. He denies it.

It's so lazy and disrespectful. I don't exist to wipe up the urine of other people. Unless they are under 5 or something. Three times I've cleaned the toilet today.

I'm considering locking it and keeping the key in my pocket. It's giving me rage.

[acasualobserver]

I think locking it is a good idea. You've got to stop him lying his way out of taking responsibility.

[Cheerybigbottom]

Yanbu. I've got my 4.5 yr old on toilet boot camp because every time he goes he messes about with toothpaste/hand wash/filling bath/turning shower on etc. Absolutely fed up of that and the wee on floor. I know he's small but it's every bastard time.

Now I go with him and stand outside. Total pain in the arse but he can't pish over the school floor so he's not pishing over our's. Also costing a fortune in toiletries.

[WeAllHaveWings]

If you are sure it's him, call him back and tell him you are not getting into a discussion over it, its his mess he cleans it, if he won't then he gets a low level punishment like Xbox/mobile phone ban for the night or whatever.

Repeat until he gets it. Do not get into an argument where he just denies, it's a waste of energy.

[YelloDraw]

That's fucking gross.

Obviooisly there are more issues than just being a disgusting creature, lack of respect for you, lying etc.

[Katinkka]

I put those disinfectant wipes next to the toilet to make cleaning easier. He wiped his bum with them and blocked the toilet...

[BeingATwatItsABingThing]

You say you are 99% sure it's him. Who else could it be?

[ridingaroundonmytrunki]

I had this in my house.
Telling the husband I would start taking photos and putting them on Facebook sorted him out.
Because there is nothing worse than standing in a lake of piss when you go to the toilet. Especially when you can't bend down to clean it up

Bath crayons are good for drawing targets in the toilet as well when you're teaching the husband toddler to aim

[redexpat]

Will he sit down to pee?

[mamas12]

Do it
Never cross a very pregnant woman,
Otherwise his job when the baby comes is to deal with the nappies!

[ButteredToastAndStrawberryJam]

I don't think it's right to ask a boy/man to sit down to pee.

[DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen]

Buttered- why's that?

[BertrandRussell]

Because it takes away their manliness. The ability to pee standing up is what has upheld the patriarchy for millennia. Take that away and what's left to them?

[BertrandRussell]

Look. Just say "You are being a sexist disrespectful arsehole. Real men do not expect women to clean up after them. I am changing the Internet password and I will tell you what is is after you have kept the loo clean for a week. I am not discussing this any further"

[Obliviated]

Sorry for the late reply, I fell asleep! Ive calmed down now, I was very ragey

I'm almost certain it's him, older DS is very into being clean, and complains as much as I do about the pee on the seat, plus I've used the bathroom after him and never found anything nasty. Younger Dc's are in nappies. DP wouldn't dare. He did once and got an hours worth of me telling him how disrespectful he was and how it showed exactly how much he valued me if he considered that leaving me to clean up his urine was acceptable. He's never done it since. The same goes for stubble - I'm not his cleaner! He cleans up after himself!

DS(12) though, there's been several times where it's just been the two of us at home and it's happened. Or I've used the bathroom after him etc. I don't think he has any problems aiming, I think he just doesn't care. He should care. I'm his mother and he thinks it's OK that I clean up his pee! I find that more offensive than actually cleaning it. And he lies about it. Can't stand lying. Totally not going to go in the bathroom with him though, he and probably I) would be scarred for life!

I probably should ask him if he's having trouble aiming etc, but he's so determined to deny it that I won't get an honest answer. Besides, even if his aim is broken, he can still lift the seat, or sit, or wipe up after himself. Will ask exh to speak to him although he will probably find the whole thing terribly amusing and not bother. Can't ask my DP, not sure that conversation is appropriate coming from him.

Im so sick of going to use the toilet and having to clean it first or getting wet toes. It sounds ridiculous I know, but it's upsetting me. And it's embarrassing if someone comes round. Definitely going to lock the door and do checks afterwards. I thought I was well past having to potty train him.

[YellowCrocus]

Why is it not ok to be in the bathroom while your 12 year old has a pee? If neither yourself or the child has an issue with it? We are pretty relaxed about nudity in this household and will continue to be so until either ds (11) or dd (4) decides they would rather not be. Naked bodies are nothing to be ashamed of! We draw the line at number twos though (except for dd who has no boundaries)!

[AVY1]

My DB did this at a similar age. My parents made a doctors appointment. As soon as he realised why it miraculously stopped.

[BeingATwatItsABingThing]

It's not a case of being ashamed of naked bodies. I think if people suggested a man escort a 12yo to the bathroom, there would be uproar. The same standard should apply for women! I see going to the toilet as a very private thing. Don't even want to see (or be seen) by DP.

If your family are fine with, that's up to you but I don't think you can force that situation personally. Not with a child that old. Just my opinion. 12yo are starting to change into adults and it can be a very self conscious time for them. Insisting on that could cause no end of emotional damage and could effect your relationship with them forever.

[YellowCrocus]

I certainly wasn't suggesting that you would insist upon it...just pointing out that for many families I imagine this wouldn't be a problem. In all fairness my children are definitely prepubescent rather than pubescent and I can see why that would be a significant factor!

[ButteredToastAndStrawberryJam]

Yes would be humiliating standing over them while they go to the toilet. I don't think you'll need to resort to that. Lots of other good suggestions on here.

[BeingATwatItsABingThing]

Yellow, my comment and other's were in response to someone suggesting that the OP insist on escorting her DS to the loo until he stops. I'm not suggesting you insist upon it. As I said, if your family is comfortable with it, that's fine. I'm not going to judge that.

[ButteredToastAndStrawberryJam]

Why is it not ok to be in the bathroom while your 12 year old has a pee? Most 12 year olds would not want to pee while their parents were in the bathroom, now come on.

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

Obliviated - I second Beetrand's suggestion of changing the wifi password and not giving it back u til the loo has stayed clean for a week. Or remove something like his Xbox and he can earn it back the same way.

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

Sorry Bertrand, not Beetrand.

[jay55]

Can your older son talk to him?

[BertrandRussell]

And tell him straight that he is being disrespectful and sexist.