PFB... Come on.

[PirateFairy45]

What's wrong with PFB?

My DD is my PFB and I don't care if you judge me on it, why are people so stuck up about it?

I've seen so many times "oh it must be PFB, that explains a lot" in a condescending way.

But what's wrong with your child being PFB?

Not trying to antagonise, Just wanna know

[MrsMook]

Your first baby is like gold, precious but you worry you'll dent it easily.
Younger siblings are like diamond, precious but tough .

My PFB thing was lovingly mushing up home cooked foods for weaning and freezing them in little trays.
Second child, after having ditched lots of ancient frozen cubes of mushed vegetables uneated by PFB, I saved precious time by giving him whatever we had topped up with Ella's Kitchen.

Oh and the low salt baby stock cubes, definitely PFB!

Different people will have different levels of anxiety/ reading up on baby care, but most will be more relaxed with subsequent children because they have less time, have less attention to devote per child, no time to read books or Bounty updates and have the confidence and experience of having kept a human infant alive for at least a year.

I was fairly relaxed about the first one, slapdash about the second. I think I might skip a third incase it becomes feral and runs off to live with the wolves

[MrsMook]

Uneated? Uneaten!

[FarAwayHills]

I think it's more lighthearted than a slight new parents. Of course there is nothing wrong with adoring your first born child but PFB is just tongue in cheek about the extreme things parents do that they normally would consider daft.

I recently found DD1s health record book - it has note of all the visits to the health visitor clinic pretty much once a week for over 12 months. They must have thought I was nuts

[DotForShort]

I love the term PFB. It perfectly encapsulates the tendency of some new parents to obsess over the most minuscule of molehills, things that they may well look back on in years to come and laugh (or cringe) about.

[FlyingElbows]

Horses for courses but I guarantee you that when pfb is kicking 20 you will not give a shit about any of it! Until then warm your baby wipes, go without sleep for a month trying to get the nursery temperature right, spend every waking moment watching the baby monitor, hand cook your organic baby mush, never let a stranger as much as breathe near your baby, be offended by everything your Mil/Sil ever says, look down your nose at people who make different choices to you and love every minute of it. They are tiny for the blink of an eye and no fucker's going to give you an award for doing the same job as countless millions of women before you. Knock yourself out, or pop over to Nethuns cuz u no it's ur bubz ur roolz hun x

[GrumpyDullard]

ILostIt - I had a spreadsheet for my PFB too! Do I know you?
I was totally stressed out about everything with DC1, especially food: nothing but the best organic, home-puréed foodstuff for weaning. No sugar EVER.
DC3 is nearly 6m and she's had a suck on my ice cream or chocolate hobnob on several occasions, on top of a lot of Farley's rusks. (She does get decent stuff too - it's not all crap!) I am enjoying this baby much more than the other two because I'm so much more chilled. I wasn't PFB with my first because I loved her more - it was because I was shit scared.

[Trifleorbust]

People aren't being nasty, it's just that first time parents can go OTT on the baby/child worship and expect others to join them.

[LunaLoveg00d]

People often look back and laugh at silly things they did that they wouldn't dream of doing with subsequent children.

Exactly - when I had my first I would wait for him to be sound asleep before i went for a shower or cup of tea, fretted over everything and spent hours ready baby recipe books.

None of that happened with No 2 and No 3.

[RandomDent]

I told off a truck driver who had left his truck with the engine running as I strolled by with my PFB in the pram. He should have known that the handbrake may have broken loose and then the truck may have mounted the pavement onto us, in that five seconds it took for us to go past.

That's what PFB is. That and the poster who rubbed shampoo in her eyes to check whether it was really "no more tears".

[Crunchymum]

What you do behind closed doors is fine, be as PFB as you like. I was and still am with my second.

Post on an open forum about it and expect your arse to be handed to you.

[Crunchymum]

Admitting you kept a shit diary (and still do - older DC has chronic constipation) is a bit weird.

[ILostItInTheEarlyNineties]

Ooh Grumpy, maybe you're my spreadsheet friend .
I agree, sometimes the pfb mentality comes from anxiety, I think we're all guilty to a degree.

[sorenipples]

Sometimes on mumsnet PFB is used to undermine a mum's thoughts and actions. Basically saying it's equivalent to warming a baby wipe.

[DollyBarton]

I had a PFB, then a non PSB and non PTB. #2 and #3 showed me where I'd been a bit precious but actually I think the term just poked merited fun at the anxiety of your first child. Doesn't bother me at all.

[IzzyIsBusy]

I am surprised ds1 survived.
I was so PFB that even the air he breathed was questionable i mean it wasnt ppure enough surely

I have read some very pfb things on mn and most are met with a straight talking but humourous approach as most have been there.

[exLtEveDallas]

I def had a PFB. I remember when I started giving DD a midday bottle panicking over how I was going to sterilise the steriliser...I decided the answer was to microwave it without any bottles in, then do it again with the bottles

My very sane and very experienced friend (mum of 2 teens at that point) scoffed at me and told me that within a few months I'd be running the bottle under the hot tap like everyone else...I was HORRIFIED...

(And a few months later started washing the bottles with the dirty dishes just like she'd said)

If I had gone one to have another it would certainly have been a NSC (neglected second child)

[phillipp]

It's meant to be a joke.

And some of it is over the top. My friend was laughing the other day about when she got mad at the midwives after she had her first because they couldn't provide a crib ( not sure what the clear things that new borns are out in at the hospital are called) that locked with a padlock. She essentially wanted a locker to put her baby in. With a close down lid. She thought that was basic security on a maternity ward.

She then complained about this for the next 6 months to us all. 3 years later she cant believe she did it.

[AuntJane]

I'm guessing it doesn't stand for Poor F*g B*d.

[mrsmugoo]

I never understood the concept of a PFB...until I had my 2nd.

[Stevefromstevenage]

God this is the first time I have seen PFB as an insult. I definitely think it is a thing though. We were way more cautious on our first than subsequent babies but that does not mean we loved them less we were simply more experienced. I recently saw the most adorable PFB whereby both parents, if they are both there do everything together. Every nappy change, every spoon feed, every nap time, it was toooooooooo adorable. They are having a second soon I really don't see it lasting for practical reasons.

[Yorkieheaven]

I think it's perfectly acceptable to be pfb why not. It's a bloody site better than neglecting them.

We look back and do laugh st some of our behaviours when our first was a baby. I waited until dh was home, we lit the fire, warned the towels, special extra soft from The White Compant! and baby gro and bathed him together. We had a bath song

By dc4 if her arse was tacky she got held under the tap and rubbed with any old towel going.

[RhiWrites]

Eatthecake
We've all been over anxious, too careful with our babies. Is that pfb or is that just learning what it's all about

That's the point. Someone with multiple kids can recognise PFB and in a lighthearted way reassure the first time parent that it's okay, baby won't break if you do it wrong and some day you'll look back and laugh about your elaborate rituals.

[milliemolliemou]

Poor PFBs. Spending a fortune on prams/carriers/furniture when they could get hand me downs or 2nd hand and just clean it. Staying up all night/not going out/worrying about food and cleanliness. When some of us were brought up in drawers, breast fed and then fed on whatever food there was, dressed in whatever. But most of us have been there - the trouble is now it's an industry with magazines and baby books and there's google (occasionally thank God) and the DM to ramp up worry. On top of which fewer people live near DPs and family to help de-PFB. There's no problem with it OP, it's a stage. However some parents of PFB mutate into helicopter parenting and having Precious Snowflakes. Each to their own and better they're looked after well than not looked after at all.

[KatharinaRosalie]

I used to monitor the temperature in PFBs bedroom religiously and was sneaking in in the middle of the night to open the window, if the temperature was 1 (ONE) degree over the recommended range.

[DoNotBlameMeIVotedRemain]

I don't think it only applies to the baby stage. I was much more worried about DD starting school than DS and I'll probably be more worried about her exams etc in due course too. Not because I care less about him but more because I realise being worried won't change anything :)