PFB... Come on.

[PirateFairy45]

What's wrong with PFB?

My DD is my PFB and I don't care if you judge me on it, why are people so stuck up about it?

I've seen so many times "oh it must be PFB, that explains a lot" in a condescending way.

But what's wrong with your child being PFB?

Not trying to antagonise, Just wanna know

[Didactylos]

I always get it mixed up with PBJ
and then start craving a sandwich

[tofutti]

*anything

[tofutti]

You can say that about nothing. There's an OP being reprimanded by lots of posters for using the terms 'kiddies' and 'hubby'. Who gives a fuck, really? Let her use the terms instead of making her feel like crap.

[burblish]

I find the term is too often used in a mean, sneering, condescending way and that seriously irritates me. If you want to look back on your own behaviour and laugh affectionately and call it PFB, that's fine, but to label someone else's behaviour PFB in a knowing, mocking way is a twattish thing to do.

[CheshireChat]

I really dislike the term simply because I've seen it being used very meanly rather than just good natured teasing.

Also, it's a time ripe with anxiety and depression (PND, PNA) and even psychotic behaviour so I think a little bit more understanding wouldn't go amiss. But hey, it's funny right?

[RiverTam]

Missing the point spectacularly there, pottering.

Thanks Maybe, sorry for your losses too .

[PotteringAlong]

Every 'first' for DD will be a PFB moment for us. I couldn't give a fuck what the rest of you think of that. She is precious. I won't ever be able to do things differently with number 2 because there won't ever be a number 2, or 3 or 4.

Doing things differently with your subsequent children because you realise you were a bit bonkers doesn't make those subsequent children any less precious. Likewise, my eldest isn't less precious just because he has siblings...

[Maybebabybee]

I suffered repeated miscarriages and probably won't have another. I still laugh at myself often with DS when I know I am being OTT.

I'm sorry for what you went through

[RiverTam]

I'm afraid I hate it when people trot out the 'oh, you won't be bothered with all that when you have your second'. I totally judge those people as absolute dimwits who clearly haven't realised that for many couples, their PFB will be their only child, whether they want it or not.

Every 'first' for DD will be a PFB moment for us. I couldn't give a fuck what the rest of you think of that. She is precious. I won't ever be able to do things differently with number 2 because there won't ever be a number 2, or 3 or 4.

I'll assume those numpties have never had 7 miscarriages. Or been diagnosed with cancer during their first and only pregnancy. Or had such a hateful time during IVF that they couldn't go through with it again. One of those people is me, the others I know. You must live very sheltered lives if you know no-one who's been through such things. But carry on feeling smug and superior.

[ILostItInTheEarlyNineties]

I know a couple who took the large overhead lampshade from their front room on holiday because their new baby liked looking at it.

[Maybebabybee]

When DS was 2 weeks old I accidentally dropped my phone on his head.

Cue me crying and dropping phone on my own head to see how hard it was.

He's nearly 6 months now and I'm decidedly more blasé with him

[Dinah85]

We once met a friend with her new (3 month old) baby at the park. The paths in this park aren't tarmac but woodchip/gravel and can be slightly uneven in places (tree roots under the path, a mound of earth that wasn't flattened completely or where animals have tunneled under the path since it was made). All in all nothing dramatic or that anyone would really notice. Having walked around 10 metres friend declared the paths completely unsafe for her top of the range pram and was getting really worried her baby was suffering brain damage on the bumps. We all completed our pleasant stroll - friend and her husband huffed and puffed as they CARRIED the complete pram the entire way around the lake. We were overtaken by several other prams with perfectly content babies and toddlers admiring the trees and the ducks and generally somehow surviving this perilous journey. PFB slept through the entire thing.

[Twodogsandahooch]

I bought a crib from someone when I was heavily pregnant. She made a complete song and dance about helping me to the car with it as her baby was asleep inside. My car was parked directly outside her front door. It took about 45 seconds to get it into my boot. I wonder if she cringes about her PFB moment.

[DoNotBlameMeIVotedRemain]

I don't think it only applies to the baby stage. I was much more worried about DD starting school than DS and I'll probably be more worried about her exams etc in due course too. Not because I care less about him but more because I realise being worried won't change anything :)

[KatharinaRosalie]

I used to monitor the temperature in PFBs bedroom religiously and was sneaking in in the middle of the night to open the window, if the temperature was 1 (ONE) degree over the recommended range.

[milliemolliemou]

Poor PFBs. Spending a fortune on prams/carriers/furniture when they could get hand me downs or 2nd hand and just clean it. Staying up all night/not going out/worrying about food and cleanliness. When some of us were brought up in drawers, breast fed and then fed on whatever food there was, dressed in whatever. But most of us have been there - the trouble is now it's an industry with magazines and baby books and there's google (occasionally thank God) and the DM to ramp up worry. On top of which fewer people live near DPs and family to help de-PFB. There's no problem with it OP, it's a stage. However some parents of PFB mutate into helicopter parenting and having Precious Snowflakes. Each to their own and better they're looked after well than not looked after at all.

[RhiWrites]

Eatthecake
We've all been over anxious, too careful with our babies. Is that pfb or is that just learning what it's all about

That's the point. Someone with multiple kids can recognise PFB and in a lighthearted way reassure the first time parent that it's okay, baby won't break if you do it wrong and some day you'll look back and laugh about your elaborate rituals.

[Yorkieheaven]

I think it's perfectly acceptable to be pfb why not. It's a bloody site better than neglecting them.

We look back and do laugh st some of our behaviours when our first was a baby. I waited until dh was home, we lit the fire, warned the towels, special extra soft from The White Compant! and baby gro and bathed him together. We had a bath song

By dc4 if her arse was tacky she got held under the tap and rubbed with any old towel going.

[Stevefromstevenage]

God this is the first time I have seen PFB as an insult. I definitely think it is a thing though. We were way more cautious on our first than subsequent babies but that does not mean we loved them less we were simply more experienced. I recently saw the most adorable PFB whereby both parents, if they are both there do everything together. Every nappy change, every spoon feed, every nap time, it was toooooooooo adorable. They are having a second soon I really don't see it lasting for practical reasons.

[mrsmugoo]

I never understood the concept of a PFB...until I had my 2nd.

[AuntJane]

I'm guessing it doesn't stand for Poor F*g B*d.

[phillipp]

It's meant to be a joke.

And some of it is over the top. My friend was laughing the other day about when she got mad at the midwives after she had her first because they couldn't provide a crib ( not sure what the clear things that new borns are out in at the hospital are called) that locked with a padlock. She essentially wanted a locker to put her baby in. With a close down lid. She thought that was basic security on a maternity ward.

She then complained about this for the next 6 months to us all. 3 years later she cant believe she did it.

[exLtEveDallas]

I def had a PFB. I remember when I started giving DD a midday bottle panicking over how I was going to sterilise the steriliser...I decided the answer was to microwave it without any bottles in, then do it again with the bottles

My very sane and very experienced friend (mum of 2 teens at that point) scoffed at me and told me that within a few months I'd be running the bottle under the hot tap like everyone else...I was HORRIFIED...

(And a few months later started washing the bottles with the dirty dishes just like she'd said)

If I had gone one to have another it would certainly have been a NSC (neglected second child)

[IzzyIsBusy]

I am surprised ds1 survived.
I was so PFB that even the air he breathed was questionable i mean it wasnt ppure enough surely

I have read some very pfb things on mn and most are met with a straight talking but humourous approach as most have been there.

[DollyBarton]

I had a PFB, then a non PSB and non PTB. #2 and #3 showed me where I'd been a bit precious but actually I think the term just poked merited fun at the anxiety of your first child. Doesn't bother me at all.