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AIBU?

to regret leaving London?

101 replies

madhurjazz · 19/08/2016 14:13

Its beautiful where I live, but quite deprived. Everything is a car ride away and often in winter I CBA if its dark wet and windy outside.

Ive made a few friends here (south west) but I do get the feeling thank most consider me an outsider as many have never moved more than a couple of miles in their life.

Its now near impossible for me to get back into London, my ex house is now an absolute fortune and my house has pretty much just gone up in inflation.

OP posts:
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andintothefire · 19/08/2016 18:34

I would actually move from London to Manchester in a heartbeat if work permitted - I don't understand why there isn't more of a drive to locate more businesses there.

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Mjingaxx · 19/08/2016 18:36

Yy, I don't know if OP realises but it is the difference between city and countryside, not London and the rest of the country Grin

Not sure why so many people make that mistake though. What do people expect when they move to the countryside? Everyone would live there if it was just as diverse/cultured/good transport etc as the city but with fresh air and nice views

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DameXanaduBramble · 19/08/2016 18:49

It's hard, once you go up its hard to come back down, as they say.

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MiddleClassProblem · 19/08/2016 19:11

Isn't the op just comparing where she used to live to where she does live? I'm not sure I expect them to list all possible locations that are diverse/similar when she's drawing from experience

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MeLittleDuckie · 19/08/2016 19:59

Blinkowl

In London we lived in an area with people from all over the world, where it was rare to hear prejudiced attitudes openly aired. I regularly met people interested in talking about politics and ideas, and there was more challenging and thought-provoking arts and culture readily available.

Now I live in a part of the UK where I'm surrounded by Tories / UKIP in a very mainstream town where the Daily Mail is by far the most popular paper. The arts and culture is also pretty mainstream, it's not usually challenging in any way.

People don't really discuss politics much unless it's bloody Brexit, when people seem to think it's a great idea, based on xenophobic / racists attitudes.

I'm really sorry you don't like where you live (or at least by the sounds of it you don't). But that isn't representative of the place I live, or indeed many other places in 'the provinces' (so patronising by the way). Lots of different cultures get along well here, it's really unusual to hear someone saying something racist, and if someone does say something racist, they'll be told in no uncertain terms all about themselves. UKIP don't even stand here and I don't know why the Tories do, they never get a look in. People talk about politics a lot, now more than ever. We strongly voted against Brexit and the Daily Mail is a joke in our city, the one person I know who buys it gets endless ribbing for it (but interestingly, still voted Remain). For the size of our city we have a great arts and culture scene which does a great job at involving the public for free, so it's accessible and inclusive. There's currently a city-wide art project going on which has taken over my facebook feed as almost everyone is getting involved. It will also raise thousands of pounds for a local charity later this year. We have a few museums and theatres but lots more only an hour/an hour and a half away. We have a close community, you'll almost always have mutual friends with any random on the street and this involves people who have joined us from other parts of the country and from other countries. Although I've always lived here I think it's pretty easy to make new friends here, for example by joining a local group or evening class to do with your interests (there are loads - sports/musical/babies and toddler) and being friendly, just as people from here do.

So what I'm trying to say is, don't tar every place outside of London with the same brush. If you can't move back I agree with pp about focusing on the positive aspects about your new place.

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AmandaIsHere · 19/08/2016 20:13

I used to live in London and now I live in rural Surrey and it is the best decision I ever made. I am close enough to visit London spontaneously and dh can commute. I think jumping from London to the south west is a big jump.

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AmandaIsHere · 19/08/2016 20:18

Now I live in a part of the UK where I'm surrounded by Tories / UKIP in a very mainstream town where the Daily Mail is by far the most popular paper. The arts and culture is also pretty mainstream, it's not usually challenging in any way.

I'm sorry that's just a really snobby comment. Look why is it a problem is your neighbours don't share your politics. I am by no means a brexit voter, but comments like these make people vote for brexit because people are sick of elitist behaviour. I am sure their is labour/left wing groups in your town despite in being a Tory area. Being a right leaning area does not make a town bad.

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JennyHolzersGhost · 19/08/2016 20:20

It's nice to hear some love for London from other parts of the U.K. - some of us Londoners are feeling pretty unwanted and unloved after the Brexit vote, which will have such a negative effect on us.
I agree with the person upthread who said this is partly about city versus smaller towns and the countryside. And (hey Manchester poster - sorry can't remember your name) I also agree that Manchester is particularly great.
However the point I'd make is that London is one of fewer than 10 truly global cities (and the only one in Europe), in scale and economy and reach it's comparable to New York, Hong Kong, probably Singapore .... Really not that many places. It's a brain drain for the rest of Europe and further afield. I get the impression from the English people I know and meet who haven't lived in London that they don't really get that. It's not the capital of England. It's the capital of Europe (or it was).

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JennyHolzersGhost · 19/08/2016 20:21

And btw I don't want to make this thread into a Brexit argument. There's a lot of anger in London about what English voters have chosen to do. London's economy is completely different to that of the rest of the country. That has to be acknowledged.

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scaryteacher · 19/08/2016 20:29

The Welsh voted out as well Jenny. or do you just want to target the English? The fact that it wasn't 100% for remain in N Ireland and Scotland would indicate some wanted Brexit in those places a swell.

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JennyHolzersGhost · 19/08/2016 20:30

I wouldn't consider London the capital of Wales. That's Cardiff. That was the only context in which I mentioned the English particularly.
Thanks for your response though. Have a nice evening! Smile

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Maisy313 · 19/08/2016 20:30

Interesting reading - we are going to view a house in the countryside tomorrow. If we go for it, it will mean swapping a 2 bed London flat for a 5 bed detached georgian house in gardens - but I don't feel that excited. I think Bristol would have me feeling excited but it would mean both of us changing jobs which isn't very feasible. We have 2 young children, we will regret it if we leave???

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MeLittleDuckie · 19/08/2016 20:39

Maisy that sounds exciting to me! Can you talk to some people who already live there (maybe at a bookbug/babies and toddlers group or something or even just the local pub) to get an idea of the pros and cons of living there?

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Maisy313 · 19/08/2016 20:55

It's quite close to Canterbury -does anyone know the much about Canterbury as a city?

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jacks11 · 19/08/2016 20:55

Maisy

I don't think anyone can tell you whether you will regret it or not. Only you can make that decision. Make a list of pros and cons, then decide which makes more sense for your family.

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DelicatePreciousThing1 · 19/08/2016 21:01

Some of the responses here are absolutely priceless! Lollol
London? Give me Paris or Stockholm or Budapest any day.

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DelicatePreciousThing1 · 19/08/2016 21:05

London is akin to HK?! No way. HK is considerably more consumerist.

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DelicatePreciousThing1 · 19/08/2016 21:05

Embarrassingly so, in fact.

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Enidblyton1 · 19/08/2016 21:13

Maisy313 we've done exactly what you are planning on (well not Canterbury, but similar distance from London). We don't regret it for a minute. We don't have the negatives of London, but can get on a train or drive there for the day or go up in the evening for a night out. Best of both worlds I think 😀

I do think moving from London to South West is a lot harder though as you can't just pop up to London for the evening. But Bristol is great too!

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blinkowl · 19/08/2016 21:15

Elitist? Ha fucking ha. I'm "elitist" because I see the Daily Mail for the shit-peddling rag it is?!

"Being a right leaning area does not make a town bad."

We'll definitely have to agree to disagree about that one!

However - The point I was making was not that it's bad in a general sense but specifically more narrow minded.

As I said earlier I've come across more racist comments here in 7 years than 33 years in London.

If that's not the definition of narrow-minded I don't know what is?!

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MissHooliesCardigan · 19/08/2016 21:24

OP I feel your pain. I moved to London 24 years ago to do my nurse training and I hated it for the first couple of years. I found it all the things people complain about - noisy, polluted, expensive and unfriendly. And then I moved to a different area and gradually began to appreciate it and then to fall in love with it and that love has never worn off. When I started my first nursing job, I used to cycle to work over Westminster bridge, past Big Ben etc and every day I used to thank my lucky stars that I lived somewhere that 20 million people travel to every year to see. And since having children, I've come to love it more. London is extremely child friendly - even the most erudite galleries and museums and arts facilities positively encourage even the smallest of children with back packs and activity trails etc. Right now, I'm back in my home town visiting my parents and it just feels so suffocating. I totally get why London, or any city, isn't for everyone but, for some people, London really gets into your soul and I would have to be dragged away kicking and screaming.I hope you can find something that works for you.

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blinkowl · 19/08/2016 21:24

"don't tar every place outside of London with the same brush"

WTF? Please tell me where I did that?

As I have already said, if you'd RTFT, my post was about my town specifically and was in response to a PP saying it was narrow minded to call a place narrow minded.

I was trying to demonstrate the point that it's valid to call a place narrow minded if it is. I'm also feeling a bit down on this place right now having just discovered the boss in my new job is racist Sad

I was making no comment about other places I have not lived. I am an optimist and certainly assume everywhere outside London is not like this! Plus haven't used the word "the Provinces" have you confused me with someone else?

The place you live sounds great, do you mind sharing where it is?

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MeLittleDuckie · 19/08/2016 21:32

Blinkowl

Sorry, not all of that was directed at you, should have made that clearer. I live on the East coast of Scotland, I love it (as you probably guessed).

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Latetotheparty26 · 19/08/2016 21:33

I hated living in London, despite it being full of people I found it incredibly lonely. Great place to visit obviously, I have to go now regularly for work and I see parents and children there and I think God, I couldn't imagine bringing up my DD here...each to their own though!
I live just outside Cardiff, have close friends in Edinburgh, Bristol, Worcester, Southampton, Swindon - there's plenty of towns and cities which offer what you're looking for other than London!

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almondpudding · 19/08/2016 21:41

I have read a number of threads on here over the years about people who have moved from London to a variety of other locations and become unhappy because they can't really gel with the other people who live there.

Would that not rather suggest that living in London makes many people very poor at coping with diversity? They're not really happy unless they are around people who they consider similarly cosmopolitan.

I have lived in many parts of the UK, including London, and although I'd rather not have had to move around so much, it did teach me to live within a variety of different communities, including those with values different to my own, and still find something in common with them.

There's nothing wrong with preferring London (it has many good things), but if you don't enjoy the company of people who live in other places, then you probably aren't boardminded or good at diversity.

I also lived in East London when there was support for BNP councillors, so I'm pretty sure racism is pretty popular in parts of London. See also the Met! A recent history of shocking levels of racism, and presumably not all shipped in from Lincoln or wherever.

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