To wonder if there's anything BT will do...

[oaadc]

My mentally abusive ex left three months ago (at my request).

The more I pull away from him, the tighter he hangs onto any control he still has.

We have a 5 year old who has Autism. He loves his films and programmes on Netflix and Amazon. I'm kept sane by social media and music playlists etc.

Ex pays for broadband as his 'maintenance' because BT won't change anything. There's still 6 months left of the contract which is in his name.

Last night he text me to say I am 'so fucking selfish it makes him sick' because he hates the car I worked hard to buy. Nothing wrong with my little car at all - it's a control thing.

Get home, he's logged into the broadband and put controls on so that I can't use whatsapp, Facebook, Instagram, Netflix, YouTube, Amazon prime etc.

He claims our son 'doesn't need Internet access at his age'. I told him I would be phoning BT this morning. He has said that they won't do anything because he is 'more than happy with the service he is receiving'.

I've been nothing but civil and accommodating. I've not once bad mouthed him or made anything difficult for him.

My son has woken up (4 am) and is devastated that he can't watch his Wallace and Gromit. Don't get me wrong, he's not glued to the television / iPad but he absolutely loves his Wallace and Gromit.

If I phone BT today and explain what has happened, will they release me from the six months left over? I want as little to do with this prize idiot as I can now.

[LineyReborn]

Yes please break the cycle of control and manipulation and go to the Child Maintenance Service.

They won't care what convoluted nonsense he comes out with about broadband accounts and offering money for cars. They only need to know his whereabouts and where he works. They'll do the rest.

[WigelsPigels]

Glad you got it sorted. The rules have changed. I forgot you don't need a MAC code for moving providers. Ofcom changed it. Haven't worked in orders for years.

[LewisAndClark]

Your next step is to go to the CMS for maintenance.

Take back control.

[oaadc]

I've told him 'no' to the car and he's doing his usual 'why don't you car about DS' blah blah blah'.

I'm so glad I'm away from him now. New broadband kicks in in a couple of weeks so I'm currently at my Mums, downloading Wallace and Gromit from Amazon prime.

Oh and I've changed back to my maiden name on Facebook which was brilliant lol

[Pearlsofmadness]

Glad you've sorted it OP!

I agree with PP, try to tell him as little as possible and keep contact to a minimum. Difficult when you have a dc together but at least try to keep conversation all about your child.

Well done for getting away from this controlling man

[ItsASunnyDay]

Ugh he sounds like a complete arse, you've had a lucky escape. I wouldn't say anything about getting new broadband just let him carry on as he is, controlling bastard. I don't know how he thinks £500 is going to get a "safer" car than what you already have either, how odd.

[LagunaBubbles]

Thats great oaadc!

[amysmummy12345]

I'd ring him to say thanks but no thanks for the money, oh and btw you've got your own internet etc but he's more than welcome to carry on paying for his own contract

[oaadc]

Right I have just called Plusnet and they were amazingly lovely. Switched over plus they've given me 300 minutes to speak to my family abroad each month. I'm so happy!

Re the car: I won't be taking any money from him. I just haven't had the nerve to reply with 'no' yet.

[DontWorrryBaldrickHasACunningP]

There is nothing to stop you getting a new broadband account with a different provider. BT won't put the account in your name as your ex will need to give them permission to do so, and I think we known that won't happen. Try Citizens Advice if you run into problems.

The car issue is just a red herring it's to do with control. Don't watch the videos he is sending. If he doesn't like you using that car to pick up/drop your DS off then he needs to arrange transport.

Go to CM get a formal maintenance agreement.

[HermioneJeanGranger]

Why don't you set up a new broadband account, OP?

[WatchingFromTheWings]

He's just offered me £500 to get a different car.

Seriously, do not take this. It will forever be his car and next he'll be telling you where/when you can drive it and who can/can't go in it with you. Just another way of taking hold/control.

I'd just get your own broadband connection and let him deal with his.

[Wisewisewords]

Someone has said you need a new installation with extra charges? I didn't when I swapped phone line from bt to plusnet. Don't remember an installation charge and I don't think they asked me whose name account was in previously. Could be wrong though.

[oaadc]

His name is off everything bar this. I worked very hard and bought a Panda - it's not an old one, new MOT and my Dad is a mechanic - it's been serviced by him and it's in beautiful condition. It's cheap to run. I think it's a control thing. He keeps sending me videos of crash tests of pandas etc.

[LittleBearPad]

Well he's an oddity isn't he. And very controlling. The car you drive, the route you take. Your tv habits.

Phone BT. Explain. They may help. Then if they don't help tell them you're moving to Virgin, Plusnet, Sky. Whatever. And I'd take his name off other bills too. You don't want a court summons because he hasn't paid the council tax.

[oaadc]

Unfortunately it's nothing to do with the router password. It's all to do with his BT account username and password.


He's just offered me £500 to get a different car.

[WigelsPigels]

I work for BT, as the account is his name there is probably not much to be done. Data protection issues.

You could start up another account with BT or someone else. All you need to do is get a new install with a socket and that has nothing to do with his connection. It does cost extra to get installed. Can't waive these charges.

You can reset the router password and change the settings back. You go through the journey forgotten password.

[HermioneJeanGranger]

Can you afford to get broadband with someone else? He's locked into the contract, but there's nothing to stop you ringing another provider and setting up a new account at your address.

And go to CMS and make him pay maintenance! He doesn't get to get out of supporting his child by "paying for broadband".

[Wisewisewords]

Not done a link before so hope this works. This is similar to the deal I got so ended up paying about £120 for a year's phone and broadband together.

www.moneysavingexpert.com/phones/cheap-broadband

[oaadc]

Thanks all

He knew I had driven the other way because he texted me to go and pick DS up a little earlier (DS was very tired). I was closer to that route at that point and got stuck behind a bus on a long country lane, making me a bit later than I should have been. He asked why I was late and I said I got stuck behind the bus on the such and such road.

He went crackers. He's has huge anxiety issues. He genuinely doesn't care that he's taken our son's films away. I've just had to tell him that it's 'broken'.

To think I was posting here three months ago, devastated about the break up!

[BewtySkoolDropowt]

I agree with others. If bt won't help, contact another telecoms provider and just start a new contract - don't try and transfer the old one, but explain that the person that has the old contact isn't there any more but the contract still has time to run. They arent likely to (they want your money) but if they suggest you use the existing one took it runs out just say you don't have full access to it, they don't need to know details.

Good luck op. And well done for getting away from him.

[LineyReborn]

He should be paying child support.

[insancerre]

Go with another provider
Then it will be in your name
Shame if your ex has to pay BT till the end of the contract

[Wisewisewords]

I don't think bt will do anything if in his name. I suggest going to another provider as usually cheaper than bt. Plusnet are good (and owned by bt. Look at money saving expert website for phone and broadband packages. They sometimes have a code and link from their website to special offers. I did this recently with plusnet and it worked fine. (phone was in my name, broadband in my dh's. We've not split up I just wanted to swap for the cheap deal!) Plusnet send you a router and instructions, don't know about other companies. No problems apart from a few hours disruption on day of swap over, which you can choose.

Sounds like the sooner it is in your name the better. Good luck.