to think DH should work DC first Christmas

[Dancedog]

Sorry for the ridiculously early Christmas thread.

DHs job isn't one which could close for Christmas. So only a certain amount of people can book the day off. The rest of the staff are either scheduled to work Christmas or they aren't depending on their shift pattern. However as everyone in the department is quite close those who aren't parents swap with those who are so that parents get Christmas off.

DH has worked Christmas for years now. We have a routine where we celebrate Christmas with his family on boxing day which works well.

However I am due to have our first DC at the end of September so it will be DCs first Christmas. But DC will only be a few months old and will have no idea.

DH's department got their work shift plan for the next year and DH wouldn't have to work Christmas however we discussed it and checked with his family and decided that he should work it as the baby won't know any better and we aren't planning on buying the baby (or ourselves) any big presents to open as we are already spending loads getting ready for the baby.

So DH went to work today to sort it and swap shifts with a parent.

My friends were here this morning when DH text me to tell me that he has swapped to work Christmas. Friend A who has a couple of DCs was horrified that DH was missing the first Christmas and was convinced that DC would notice and be upset. When I was unconvinced she said that the DC will be upset when they are older as we won't have real first Christmas pictures as most of them will be taken on boxing day.

Friend B has just had her first and kept telling me that I will really regret this when I actually have the baby. She and friend C kept telling me that I will regret this once DC is here and I will never get to experience the first family Christmas again. They all agreed that they could never do it.

I'm worried now. Have I totally messed this up? I figured it just made sense to give a parent with DCs who actually know that it's Christmas a chance to celebrate it. I'm worried that it will be a massive regret once DC is here.

So are we being unreasonable to arrange for DH to work Christmas and will I regret it.

[Aebj]

Ds 1 was 4 weeks old for his first Christmas. Dh worked. I spent the day with just me and ds. It was bliss. We had christmas on boxing day. The same thing happened the following year.
Dh had the 3rd christmas day off but worked New Years eve ( he was away 30 dec - 2 jan) . It was ds 2 first christmas but we didn't really celebrate. Ds liked presents but didn't really get santa. Ds 2 spent a christmas day out of hospital 😃. But that's a different story.
Enjoy Christmas the way you want it and don't let others put your husband off working

[Thatsmeinthecorner2016]

I really don't get the childless who insist they must have every Christmas off and want annual leave in school holidays just because they can .

Seriously? The childless have no right to celebrate Christmas with their families while the kids must have the whole fairy kingdom laid out for them? Makes no sense.

[HeCantBeSerious]

People get so obsessed about 'Christmas Day' - you can celebrate Christmas, whatever your customs and traditions, anytime over the 'Christmas period'. It doesn't bother me at all if I work, or volunteer, on Christmas day - it is good for my DS to know that Christmas just does not revolve around a large pile of presents and over eating. Many people still need to be working on Christmas day and for the lonely and vulnerable Christmas can be a terrible time

YY. With relatives and friends around the globe and many in the emergency services/on call our "Christmas period" can fall at any point between November and March.

[notyourmummy]

My husband also has a job that means he has to work Christmas sometimes. He's worked every Christmas Day since laddo was born, but we've either done Christmas the day before or after or opened laddo's presents before he went to work and popped in to see him at work later. Laddo's now 5, and he knows that some people have to work at Christmas, that's just the way it is.

[Ragwort]

People get so obsessed about 'Christmas Day' - you can celebrate Christmas, whatever your customs and traditions, anytime over the 'Christmas period'. It doesn't bother me at all if I work, or volunteer, on Christmas day - it is good for my DS to know that Christmas just does not revolve around a large pile of presents and over eating. Many people still need to be working on Christmas day and for the lonely and vulnerable Christmas can be a terrible time.

I celebrate Christmas because of my Christian faith and so long as I can get to either a midnight or morning service I am happy - and even if I could not get to Church it would not be the end of the world.

The obsession with 'watching your children open their presents' attitude really irritates me. grumpy old woman

[redskytonight]

I can't remember my DC's first Christmases (far too knackered) - never mind them ...

[Devilishpyjamas]

People get ridiculous about Christmas day. We often do the big meal on Boxing Day & have xmas day as a chilled out day. It's a good day to go for a walk on the beach - empty and anyone you meet is friendly.

[AppleMagic]

My Dd is 4 and very aware of the concept of Christmas but she would be none the wiser if we held it on a day other than the 25th. So I'd say you have years of this being ok.

[Vickyyyy]

Who wants to work in Christmas Day? Almost no one (except the op's dh!).

--

Erm, me, before I had kids. But xmas has always been a 'child' time for me and I enjoyed the 2.5x pay (and RIDICULOUS tips, that were matched only when working new years eve/day) that we got on xmas day. However I pretty much saw christmas as a normal day once I was an adult with no children, as I am not religious or anything so no church to go to, and I was seeing family regularly so it wasn't even necessarily a 'family gathering' type thing either. I know most are different though

[Atenco]

Yeap, I love your attitude and I'm sure people like you and your dh will bring up a lovely child who will be proud of their kind parents, which is much more important than a silly photo.

[AnnieOnnieMouse]

I think you are very sensible. You're giving a special favour to those whose children are old enough to notice - and yours won't be for a few years. Also, it gives you the freedom to do what you want on Christmas, rather than have to dance to the tune of any other members of the family - eg, go visit if you really want to, decline if you don't want to, as dh not able to attend.
We have a vary variable Christmas day in this house - it's whenever the most family members can be here. Anywhere 24th - 30th
(sulks, cos I can't find a santa hat smiley)

[OlennasWimple]

YANBU

Just make sure his work knows it's not a "I always want to work Xmas" situation

[Enkopkaffetak]

No you wont regret it, Surely there will be pictures as you will take some on Boxing day when you celebrate?

[LassWiTheDelicateAir]

I really don't get the childless who insist they must have every Christmas off

The childless have exactly the same right to ask not to work at Christmas as those with children.

[Thatsmeinthecorner2016]

You have at least two Christmases ahead of you when your child won't bother and the whole 'magic' will be in your heads only so you're totally NBU for not being bothered.

[PrincessHairyMclary]

Christmas isn't fun till they are 3-4 so don't worry about it. And as for the child not experiencing a proper Christmas on Christmas Day I alternate Christmas with DDs dad and often replicate it on Boxing Day and it is just as good, if not better that way (I can enjoy all the Christmas films in peace and enjoy DD the next day)

[pennefabredux]

Your "friends" RBU ... You and your DH are clearly being reasonable, giving (in the sense of the season), and should carry on with your plans.

Honestly your DC won't be aware. You'll still celebrate as you've done in the past. It's really quite lovely.

[DoNotDenyMe]

Haven't read other comments. My dh did this. No big deal. Dd was 8mo. We woke her to open presents very early and she went back to sleep. He went to work and joined us at my parents late afternoon
Never really been a major issue for me as my dm was a nurse. If she had to work, she volunteer to do the early shift so I've told dh to do the same.
It's real life, it's one day of the year. :-)

[hollinhurst84]

It's absolutely fine. My parents friends child thinks Boxing Day is Christmas Day because they can't celebrate on Christmas Day so they've always done it that way
So her Christmas Eve is actually Christmas Day night

[Leonas]

My DP worked our baby's 2 Xmas days and she was entirely unphased! She is nearly 3 now and he has changed jobs so will be off at Xmas but we are lucky in this respect.
How would the baby possibly even know what days the photos were taken on anyway? Do Xmas the way that works for you, it matters not a jot what other people think or do!

[PurpleDaisies]

And why aren't childless people supported to ask for time off in the summer holidays?

[HeCantBeSerious]

I'd happily work Dec 25th. I did for many years.

[PurpleDaisies]

I've just spotted the "every Christmas off"

It would be just as wrong for a childless person to insist on every Christmas off as a parent.

[PurpleDaisies]

I really don't get the childless who insist they must have every Christmas off and want annual leave in school holidays just because they can

Who wants to work in Christmas Day? Almost no one (except the op's dh!). They're not asking for it off to make a bloody point.

[trafalgargal]

I really don't get the childless who insist they must have every Christmas off and want annual leave in school holidays just because they can .

I'd swap shifts with a parent of young children in those circumstances but not with someone who didn't (may be doing so this year as it falls on my regular day off)