Bloody "security"!!!

[WyldChyld]

DH is security obsessed focused but is driving me batty.

Things we must not do as they are not safe:
Get a cat flap in case someone climbs through to burgle us / fishes for keys (kept in another room)
Open windows
Having beaten him down - we may now open windows on the proviso that they are not open too much or left unattended (e.g. must close and lock if I ever nip to the corner shop even)
Must not open the front door even if I'm in the house - someone might sneak past me and burgle us
Must not open landing window too wide at night in case someone climbs up a ladder and we don't wake up
Must not open too many windows or doors at once in case a door slams and is damaged

We live in a naice semi-rural neighbourhood!

AIBU to throw open every window and door and torture him with this?

[ChunkyMonkey4321]

My dad is like this! Worried about people putting a fishing rod through the letterbox and tells me off for leaving my keys in the French Windows

Apparently a burglar could get glass cutters, make a hole and get the keys and open them. Tbh if they're that determined they're going to get into my house whether I leave the keys there or not

[Dinosaur1991]

Wow, your husband sounds like me! My partner forever rolls his eyes at my horror of having windows open or leaving the front door open when we are already in the house! Even though I know it's ridiculous, I can't help myself! Your husband may well also know he's being paranoid as well.

[LunaLoveg00d]

God my inlaws are like this and it drives me INSANE. You can't open windows at their house - ever - as they are permanently locked and they hide the keys. No idea what we'd do if there were a fire. Burn, probably. Last time we visited in a heatwave I snapped and insisted we had a key for the window so I could open it. MIL not happy. Very, very concerned that someone would get in and rob us or murder us in our beds. Relented and gave us the key on the proviso that the window be locked as soon as we got up, and gave her the key back.

Some people are just a bit paranoid.

[WyldChyld]

Maybe we've been wrong all this time about the two types of people in the world being dog and cat people... how are you (closed windows etc) people not permanently boiling hot?!

[peanutnutty]

I have the complete opposite, leaves the back door not only unlocked but wide open.
Unfortunately, I'm an early to bed type, so he is the one who locks up, or doesn't!

Infuriates me that he can be so lax with the safety of our children and myself. Nothing but nothing wakes him up, so it'd be me who would be confronting any intruder.

[Atenco]

Uuf, I used to live in a place where that sort of stuff was extremely necessary and remember the worry about burglary versus fire. Kept an axe upstairs so we could get out the outstairs window but didn't dare leave it beside said window.

However as soon as I moved to lovely Mexico City I am super relaxed about security. I find it a faff and don't like to spend my time thinking people are out to get me. Fire is not a worry here, just earthquakes.

[ExcuseMyEyebrows]

hillyhilly my insurance policy specifies that downstairs windows must be closed and locked when I'm out.

After I was burgled, police advised not to leave upstairs windows open, even locked on 'night latch' if I'm not at home.

I'm very security conscious and have an intruder alarm, new locks on doors and windows and a locked side gate with 'cat spikes' on top (recommended by police)

I live in a nice area in an ordinary semi but I'm at the end of the road in quite a secluded location, ideal for burglars.

[littleprincesssara]

Quite right to, I've recently seen TWO TV shows where someone was murdered or nearly after the killer climbed in through the cat flap.

Granted one was an episode of Doctor Who and the other was the X Files, but still... ;)

[BobbinThreadbare123]

I'm like this. Daughter of a police officer. That's my excuse; genetics!

If you go out, leaving windows etc open and are burgled, the insurance company may not pay out.

[hillyhilly]

Mine is similar, if it has a lock it must be closed and locked at all times, we drive each other nuts over Windows as I hate them closed, especially in this weather.
We managed to compromise on the burglar alarm by telling the insurance company specifically that it is not set during the day as I point blank refused - I'm in an out all day and we have a cat.

Does anyone know what the position is on insurance and open windows?
I leave our upstairs sash Windows slightly open, they have restrictions so they can't be opened further without damage - he still feels that insurance would not cover a burglary as the windows are open, I ay they are locked open and when did he last hear of burglar brining their own long ladder to break into an upstairs window but I keep meaning to check which of us is actually correct

[AlpacaPicnic]

Crumbs, I couldn't live without fresh air... we had a stable door put in so it can be half open all the time. Last week DH and I went out for lunch and only realised when we got back that the front door had been left unlocked the whole time!

And I woke up to find an intruder standing over me recently - you'd think that would make me a bit more security conscious? Yep - for about a week...

[Natsku]

Could not live with those rules, it'd drive me crazy! My front door is unlocked day and night (and quite often when we're not home as I'm forgetful), windows are left open (although its not possible for anyone to get in through them). Van doors are unlocked half the time too. Never had anything nicked though we did find someone's hat in the van once so someone had been in there but didn't take anything.

[Zaphodsotherhead]

My BF is like this. I asked him once 'what would happen if the house caught fire when I was staying over there and he was overcome with smoke and couldn't unlock it for me.

He just said 'oh, you'd be overcome with smoke too, so it wouldn't worry you'. he would rather we both burned to death than have keys where I could reach them/knew where they were. House has to be sealed up hermetically every night, all windows/doors double locked. But he keeps it like that during the day too, because otherwise 'flies might get in'.

Yeah, burgling bluebottles. Bastards.

[TapStepBallChange]

We got burgled because the burglar ripped the cat flap off the back door then reached in get the keys which were near the door, so I'm with him on that one. But the rest sounds a bit extreme, and I'm always far more worried about fire than being burgled

[PetraDelphiki]

We have window stoppers so they can be open a bit but no further...and they are open like that all summer! We also have full alarm system and double lock doors/set alarm whenever we are out of the house! It would be far easier to put a brick through the window and climb in than to wiggle through the 5cm it's open!

[Sparklesilverglitter]

Here we have an alarm system, front and back door is always double locked, car keys are hidden is my secret place, chain on the door. I always lock all windows and doors when I go out.

I was broken in to years ago while on holiday and they even found my car keys and stole the car, So I know hid the car keys over night even and I invested in a good alarm system

[Hedgeh0g]

I've been burgled twice. Once I hadn't double locked the front door and they opened it via letter box. Stupid, lesson learned. Second time the guy stole a spade from next door's shed and used it to force a window out of its frame (after trying and failing with two doors first). I'm of the opinion that I won't do anything plain stupid like leave doors unlocked or ground floor windows open at night, but if they really want to get in, they will.

[SistersOfPercy]

DH is somewhat like this. I asked him once how he got through life with such extreme paranoia. He is sightly better than he was but at one point everyone was out to get him. Same as you OP windows, doors etc. He trusted nobody. His parents were also similar so I guess thats where it stems from.

I knew a woman once who insisted her husband sleep downstairs on the sofa on Christmas eve as she was adamant burglars would break in and steal all the presents. I did point out that all the presents would still be there the day after but apparently that was different.

[WyldChyld]

He's not Aspergers and has no SEN etc. I just find it baffling - he is quite normal in every other way!

I've also raised the fire thing as all the doors are locked at night and have special bolts which are a nightmare to open. I've told him before I think they should be left off but he likes them.

No burglaries etc recently in our area.

I open what I want and then he wanders round and closes windows down/ shuts doors until I go barmy and threaten to dance naked on the lawn as I'm so hot!!

[Buddahbelly]

We do have a dog that barks when a sparrow farts two streets away

Is your dh just security conscious or is there more to it? I only ask as my mum's dp is slightly aspergers and has the same fears. they live in a tiny terraced house, last house at a dead end, The bin is right outside the front door and the curb is less than 3 feet away. He will insist on when putting the bin out, to come out of the house, lock the door take bin 3 steps to the curb then go back to the house.

Same with windows, they are not to be opened, she also can not open the curtains in summer as the tv is right by the window, and the sun blazing through the window will cause it to overheat and set itself on fire.

So instead she waits for him to go to work, opens every window and curtain in the house and lives her life freely, all good until half 4 when she has to go around closing them as he will be home at 5.

[Lifeisontheup2]

I'm dreadful with security, never lock my car when I'm at home (although it's a Y reg Polo so not on a thieves shopping list) and always have bedroom windows open 24 hours a day 365 days a year.
We do have a dog that barks when a sparrow farts two streets away and one of our neighbours have 2 large German Shepherds who own the close and manage security for the rest of us. One steely glare from one of those and the dubious characters slope off.

[KoalaDownUnder]

Re: dog flaps - mine has to be an extra-large, to accommodate the dog! To get to the dog flap, an intruder would first have to get through a side gate, past a 'beware of the dog' sign and the large dog itself (which is not aggressive, but they wouldn't know that).

There is a solid door that can be locked over the dog flap, but that would defeat the purpose of the dog being able to go between the garden and the house while I'm out.

I figure it's worth the risk, but I know that some of my friends are a bit shocked.

[BarbaraofSeville]

Sounds a bit much, but I understand where he is coming from.

I know at least three people that have had cars stolen by the thieves either walking in through unlocked doors while the house was occupied, or fishing the keys through catflaps.

They all live in naice neighbourhoods too - in my experience these sorts of places tend to have higher burglary rates because they have more expensive things and can be a bit lapse with security 'because they live in a nice area'.

I've seen exclusions in insurance policies relating to petflaps above a certain (quite small) size. When our outhouse was broken into the hole in the broken window that the thief entered was 9.5 inches at the widest point - it was a boy aged about 12 (he was with older men and we disturbed them - the men ran off leaving the boy in our outhouse before anything could be taken).

Many insurance companies will not pay out if you are burgled and are found to have been lapse with security.

Have a look on your local police website - if there are trends of sneak in burglaries locally, they will be giving related crime prevention advice. People often think it won't happen to them, until it does.

[WaxyBean]

There's a middle ground here. I don't ever leave windows open when leaving the house, nor do I leave my downstairs front windows open when I am not in the room. We don't have a cat flap and I don't leave the front door open unless we are going through it. But upstairs Windows and back door are always open (terraced house with no access round the back). Common sense in my opinion.

[Blacksheep78]

I couldn't even tell you where my keys are...

The only time I have ever been robbed was about 15 years ago when I lived in a high security prison gated neighborhood, where all my neighbors had CCTV and motion activated lights drove us nuts every time a cat ran past.