Im really struggling these past few weeks. I don't know why tbh. I think sometimes it just feels like it's too much hard work to try to be positive and just get on with life. I don't have the energy to feel positive. I want to stay in bed, eat chocolate and drink wine and have my own pity party.
I hate myself, who I am. I don't like myself and don't expect others to either. What's wrong with me. I wish I was something else. Ive been made with a massive fault that everyone hates. It's held me back in everything and is the reason I'm behind socially than everybody else. Kids are better than me. I'm ashamed of myself.
I know I shouldn't but I can't help but to look at others' lives - the bits I struggle with I compare. How easy and effortless it comes to them- talking.
Most people might compare others cars, houses, money, career etc but I envy anyone who has the freedom to be themselves, to speak, to relax and have fun in social interactions.
It's a horrible thing. I feel I am being punished, a life sentence of never being able to break free.
I have never known a life without it and cannot bear to think about the rest of my life with it.
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AIBU?
To be fed up of my social anxiety?
26 replies
BookATable · 01/08/2016 09:41
OP posts:
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